DEAR HARRIETTE: I am really worried about my husband. He seems to be in good enough health. He exercises daily and eats well, but he hasn't had a physical in more than 10 years. He doesn't believe in going to the doctor. Instead he reads about holistic alternatives to traditional medicine and chooses to "heal" himself whenever he has an issue. One time, that landed him in the hospital because he did the wrong thing, but he still didn't get a physical.

Fast-forward to a friend of ours who also doesn't go to the doctor. He was not feeling well and finally did go, and he was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I know I am being dramatic here, but I am so worried that my husband might have something awful wrong with him and we won't know until it's too late because he refuses to go to the doctor. What can I do to get him to get at least one physical? -- ANTI-DOCTOR

DEAR ANTI-DOCTOR: Your husband and your friend are not unusual, sad to say. Many men do not go to the doctor regularly. What you might point out to your husband is that Western medicine is excellent at diagnostics. There is so much technology and knowledge around determining the status of one's health that it is worthwhile engaging that system just to learn where you stand. After getting the information on your body's health, then you can make a decision regarding what to do about it.

Many people who prefer holistic or alternative medicine use Western diagnoses to guide their next steps. Suggest this to your husband. You can also remind him that you love him and want him to be alive and healthy. Point out that you are worried about your friend who waited too long to see the doctor to be able to have treatment options for his condition. You don't want that to happen to him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I would like to improve my productivity at home. I cannot resist the comforts in my home, whether it be the sofa, the bed or even my desk. What are some tips I can implement to keep from getting distracted and lazy when I need to work? I am an independent contractor, and I do most of my work from home. -- HOMEBODY

DEAR HOMEBODY: You may need to identify a different workspace to use so that you can be more productive. Consider your public library, your local coffee shop or another local business that offers Wi-Fi. Research co-working spaces to see if there is one that you can afford to go to during the week. Even if you do this temporarily, you may discover ways to step up your work game so that you can stay focused.

At home, set up your desk as your office. Put only essential work items there, and use it only when you are to be formally working. Do not go into other areas of your home to perch during your workday. Make your desk the focus of your business and treat it as a private office. When you get up in the morning, take a shower, get dressed as if you are going out to work, and then go to your desk. If you can develop the discipline of using your desk as a formal workspace, you may be able to solve your focus issues.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends asked me if she can borrow a formal dress for an event that she is attending. She has a limited budget and really can't afford to go out and buy a gown. Under normal circumstances, I would be OK with that. She seems responsible, and I hardly wear my formal clothes.

My issue is that she has significant body odor. I think that she does not wear deodorant. She is one of those earthy-crunchy type of people who like to do vitamins and everything all-natural. For the most part, I don't care so much about that. But I fear that if I let her wear my dress, there will be an odor in it that will never come out. How do I address this with her? -- BORROWING A DRESS

DEAR BORROWING A DRESS: Usually I steer clear of body odor conversations, as they are so incredibly personal and often have to do with more than simply using deodorant. The way people smell is often associated with the food they eat and their overall health. That said, in this case, you have a very specific reason to open up this discussion. There is no easy way around it.

In private, you need to speak to your friend and tell her your concerns. Acknowledge that you would like for her to be able to wear your dress, but that you have some reservations. Be direct. Tell her that you notice that she sometimes has a strong body smell and you are concerned that it will linger in your dress. Ask her if she wears deodorant or if she is willing to wear it in your dress. Tell her you do not mean to be rude, but you are just being practical. This will likely be a bit of an awkward conversation, but the alternative is either that you say no without explanation or say yes and accept that you may have to forfeit wearing your dress again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm planning to retire next year. I have saved my money and invested fairly well, so I am prepared to make this move. I feel confident about my decision, but my friends are giving me grief. They think I am crazy to retire in my 50s.

When I listen to them, I hear the choices they have made along with the challenges they have faced that have derailed them financially. But that is not my story. How can I get my friends to lay off me? We all have our individual lives to lead. Why can't they trust that I am doing what is right for me? -- READY TO RETIRE

DEAR READY TO RETIRE: Your friends are projecting their fears onto you. That is natural for people to do, though it is not helpful to you. What you should do is verify your financial situation with your financial adviser or consultant, where you review what you have and what you think you need for the projected remainder of your life. If you are still confident about retiring, stand in that conviction.

As far as your friends go, be definitive with them about your choice and let it be. You can thank them for their concerns as you assure them that you have made your decision. You can also ask them to stop pestering you about it. Point out that you don't chastise them about their finances. You want them to do the same for you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel so bad. My good friend and neighbor lost her father recently. She and I had been talking about his illness, and I was supporting her emotionally to the best of my ability. But I was traveling for work when he died and was away at the time of the funeral.

I don't think she expected me to skip work to be with her, but I also know that she is very sad. I want to be of support now that I am back home. Do you think it's too late to bring up her father's death? He passed a few weeks ago. -- CONSOLING A FRIEND

DEAR CONSOLING A FRIEND: It is definitely not too late to reach out to your friend. The wound is still very raw if she lost her father only a few weeks ago. Losing a parent is incredibly painful, and it will likely take months if not years for her to be at peace with his death. The natural course of grief takes time.

I'm sure she will appreciate hearing from you and seeing you as soon as you are able to be with her. You can apologize for not being at the funeral. But mostly stay in the present. Find out how she is doing and if she needs anything. Often, being a good listener is the best thing a friend can do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter is heading to a beach party with a group of friends this summer. They are all very excited. My daughter ordered a few swimsuits online especially for the occasion, and she just showed them to me. A couple of these suits are much too risque for her to wear. I let her put them on and show them to me. Then I asked her what she thought about them. She told me that she thought one of them was just not right. I bit my tongue in the moment, because I didn't want to yell.

I do need to go back and let her know which ones I think she can wear and which are off limits. How can I talk to her about this so that she still feels like she has some input but understands where I believe she should draw the line? -- SKIMPY SWIMSUIT

DEAR SKIMPY SWIMSUIT: It's good that you were measured at first with your daughter. At the point of being a teenager, she needs to learn how to make decisions that are smart for her. Asking her for her opinion was great. Your next step is to revisit the swimsuit discussion and let her know that you want to share your ideas with her about the remaining suits.

Tell her which ones you like and which you think are inappropriate. You must also explain why you don't think they are right for her to wear. If they are too revealing or unflattering to her figure, or if you think they will draw the wrong type of interest, tell her. If you are forbidding her from wearing any of them, get the physical suits and arrange to return them and get your money back.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)