DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends asked me if she can borrow a formal dress for an event that she is attending. She has a limited budget and really can't afford to go out and buy a gown. Under normal circumstances, I would be OK with that. She seems responsible, and I hardly wear my formal clothes.

My issue is that she has significant body odor. I think that she does not wear deodorant. She is one of those earthy-crunchy type of people who like to do vitamins and everything all-natural. For the most part, I don't care so much about that. But I fear that if I let her wear my dress, there will be an odor in it that will never come out. How do I address this with her? -- BORROWING A DRESS

DEAR BORROWING A DRESS: Usually I steer clear of body odor conversations, as they are so incredibly personal and often have to do with more than simply using deodorant. The way people smell is often associated with the food they eat and their overall health. That said, in this case, you have a very specific reason to open up this discussion. There is no easy way around it.

In private, you need to speak to your friend and tell her your concerns. Acknowledge that you would like for her to be able to wear your dress, but that you have some reservations. Be direct. Tell her that you notice that she sometimes has a strong body smell and you are concerned that it will linger in your dress. Ask her if she wears deodorant or if she is willing to wear it in your dress. Tell her you do not mean to be rude, but you are just being practical. This will likely be a bit of an awkward conversation, but the alternative is either that you say no without explanation or say yes and accept that you may have to forfeit wearing your dress again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm planning to retire next year. I have saved my money and invested fairly well, so I am prepared to make this move. I feel confident about my decision, but my friends are giving me grief. They think I am crazy to retire in my 50s.

When I listen to them, I hear the choices they have made along with the challenges they have faced that have derailed them financially. But that is not my story. How can I get my friends to lay off me? We all have our individual lives to lead. Why can't they trust that I am doing what is right for me? -- READY TO RETIRE

DEAR READY TO RETIRE: Your friends are projecting their fears onto you. That is natural for people to do, though it is not helpful to you. What you should do is verify your financial situation with your financial adviser or consultant, where you review what you have and what you think you need for the projected remainder of your life. If you are still confident about retiring, stand in that conviction.

As far as your friends go, be definitive with them about your choice and let it be. You can thank them for their concerns as you assure them that you have made your decision. You can also ask them to stop pestering you about it. Point out that you don't chastise them about their finances. You want them to do the same for you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel so bad. My good friend and neighbor lost her father recently. She and I had been talking about his illness, and I was supporting her emotionally to the best of my ability. But I was traveling for work when he died and was away at the time of the funeral.

I don't think she expected me to skip work to be with her, but I also know that she is very sad. I want to be of support now that I am back home. Do you think it's too late to bring up her father's death? He passed a few weeks ago. -- CONSOLING A FRIEND

DEAR CONSOLING A FRIEND: It is definitely not too late to reach out to your friend. The wound is still very raw if she lost her father only a few weeks ago. Losing a parent is incredibly painful, and it will likely take months if not years for her to be at peace with his death. The natural course of grief takes time.

I'm sure she will appreciate hearing from you and seeing you as soon as you are able to be with her. You can apologize for not being at the funeral. But mostly stay in the present. Find out how she is doing and if she needs anything. Often, being a good listener is the best thing a friend can do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter is heading to a beach party with a group of friends this summer. They are all very excited. My daughter ordered a few swimsuits online especially for the occasion, and she just showed them to me. A couple of these suits are much too risque for her to wear. I let her put them on and show them to me. Then I asked her what she thought about them. She told me that she thought one of them was just not right. I bit my tongue in the moment, because I didn't want to yell.

I do need to go back and let her know which ones I think she can wear and which are off limits. How can I talk to her about this so that she still feels like she has some input but understands where I believe she should draw the line? -- SKIMPY SWIMSUIT

DEAR SKIMPY SWIMSUIT: It's good that you were measured at first with your daughter. At the point of being a teenager, she needs to learn how to make decisions that are smart for her. Asking her for her opinion was great. Your next step is to revisit the swimsuit discussion and let her know that you want to share your ideas with her about the remaining suits.

Tell her which ones you like and which you think are inappropriate. You must also explain why you don't think they are right for her to wear. If they are too revealing or unflattering to her figure, or if you think they will draw the wrong type of interest, tell her. If you are forbidding her from wearing any of them, get the physical suits and arrange to return them and get your money back.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work freelance and do not make a dollar when I am off work. I just got called in for jury duty, and it's at my busiest time of work. I have to go, because they threatened to fine or arrest me because I have been unable to make it in the past. I am worried that I am going to lose work if I get picked for a jury. What can I do? -- NO JURY DUTY

DEAR NO JURY DUTY: You must go to court on the day that you have been asked to show up. Go with your paperwork in hand. Apologize for not having shown up before and then plead your case. Make it clear how you earn a living and that you need the work that is coming in right now.

Ask if you can reschedule jury duty for a specific time in the future. You will need to recommend a time and then see if they will agree. There is a chance that they will say no, since you have been negligent, but be kind and conciliatory and patient. Perhaps they will work with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I do not like my job and want to quit. I feel like every day there is something else that my boss is picking at me about. I never seem to measure up, no matter how hard I try. I do go in and ask for guidance when she says I have done something wrong. Honestly, I feel like she has it out for me. I can't imagine that I am so bad that nothing I do is satisfactory. I have noticed that she can be mean to my co-workers too, but they don't seem to be affected by it. This is my first job out of college, and it is not a good fit.

People tell me I should stay at a job for a year, but I can't imagine that I will be able to do that. Should I just quit right now? I'm not a quitter, though. I worked hard in school and got good grades. I don't want to be a loser. What should I do? -- BAD BOSS

DEAR BAD BOSS: Request a meeting with your boss and ask her to give you guidance on how you can do a better job. Be proactive with her. Let her know that you pride yourself on doing good work, and that you need her support to ensure that you are able to work to the specifications she has for you. Ask her to help you. This will let her know that you are serious about being successful there.

Do not quit your job. Instead, you can quietly look for another job. There are many online sources that post jobs. Look for something in your area of interest and apply broadly. Think about your best attributes so that you can talk about what is positive about you in your interviews. Do not talk about what isn't working at your current job. Instead, talk about what you are learning but pivot immediately to what you want to do with the company interviewing you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)