DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel so bad. My good friend and neighbor lost her father recently. She and I had been talking about his illness, and I was supporting her emotionally to the best of my ability. But I was traveling for work when he died and was away at the time of the funeral.

I don't think she expected me to skip work to be with her, but I also know that she is very sad. I want to be of support now that I am back home. Do you think it's too late to bring up her father's death? He passed a few weeks ago. -- CONSOLING A FRIEND

DEAR CONSOLING A FRIEND: It is definitely not too late to reach out to your friend. The wound is still very raw if she lost her father only a few weeks ago. Losing a parent is incredibly painful, and it will likely take months if not years for her to be at peace with his death. The natural course of grief takes time.

I'm sure she will appreciate hearing from you and seeing you as soon as you are able to be with her. You can apologize for not being at the funeral. But mostly stay in the present. Find out how she is doing and if she needs anything. Often, being a good listener is the best thing a friend can do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter is heading to a beach party with a group of friends this summer. They are all very excited. My daughter ordered a few swimsuits online especially for the occasion, and she just showed them to me. A couple of these suits are much too risque for her to wear. I let her put them on and show them to me. Then I asked her what she thought about them. She told me that she thought one of them was just not right. I bit my tongue in the moment, because I didn't want to yell.

I do need to go back and let her know which ones I think she can wear and which are off limits. How can I talk to her about this so that she still feels like she has some input but understands where I believe she should draw the line? -- SKIMPY SWIMSUIT

DEAR SKIMPY SWIMSUIT: It's good that you were measured at first with your daughter. At the point of being a teenager, she needs to learn how to make decisions that are smart for her. Asking her for her opinion was great. Your next step is to revisit the swimsuit discussion and let her know that you want to share your ideas with her about the remaining suits.

Tell her which ones you like and which you think are inappropriate. You must also explain why you don't think they are right for her to wear. If they are too revealing or unflattering to her figure, or if you think they will draw the wrong type of interest, tell her. If you are forbidding her from wearing any of them, get the physical suits and arrange to return them and get your money back.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work freelance and do not make a dollar when I am off work. I just got called in for jury duty, and it's at my busiest time of work. I have to go, because they threatened to fine or arrest me because I have been unable to make it in the past. I am worried that I am going to lose work if I get picked for a jury. What can I do? -- NO JURY DUTY

DEAR NO JURY DUTY: You must go to court on the day that you have been asked to show up. Go with your paperwork in hand. Apologize for not having shown up before and then plead your case. Make it clear how you earn a living and that you need the work that is coming in right now.

Ask if you can reschedule jury duty for a specific time in the future. You will need to recommend a time and then see if they will agree. There is a chance that they will say no, since you have been negligent, but be kind and conciliatory and patient. Perhaps they will work with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I do not like my job and want to quit. I feel like every day there is something else that my boss is picking at me about. I never seem to measure up, no matter how hard I try. I do go in and ask for guidance when she says I have done something wrong. Honestly, I feel like she has it out for me. I can't imagine that I am so bad that nothing I do is satisfactory. I have noticed that she can be mean to my co-workers too, but they don't seem to be affected by it. This is my first job out of college, and it is not a good fit.

People tell me I should stay at a job for a year, but I can't imagine that I will be able to do that. Should I just quit right now? I'm not a quitter, though. I worked hard in school and got good grades. I don't want to be a loser. What should I do? -- BAD BOSS

DEAR BAD BOSS: Request a meeting with your boss and ask her to give you guidance on how you can do a better job. Be proactive with her. Let her know that you pride yourself on doing good work, and that you need her support to ensure that you are able to work to the specifications she has for you. Ask her to help you. This will let her know that you are serious about being successful there.

Do not quit your job. Instead, you can quietly look for another job. There are many online sources that post jobs. Look for something in your area of interest and apply broadly. Think about your best attributes so that you can talk about what is positive about you in your interviews. Do not talk about what isn't working at your current job. Instead, talk about what you are learning but pivot immediately to what you want to do with the company interviewing you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Usually I put my son in summer camp, but I didn't make him go this year. He wanted to have less structured time, which I understand. He has been oversubscribed for most of his life.

The problem is that I can hardly get him to do anything. He is sleeping a lot and claiming he doesn't feel well whenever I ask him to do something. Contrast that to when he wants to hang out with his friends and he suddenly has energy. What can I do to put some structure around his summer? -- SUMMER FREE

DEAR SUMMER FREE: You went from one extreme to the other with your son's summer. Now it's time to sit down with him and map out how he will spend the next few weeks. Look for some kind of extracurricular program in your city that he can attend. Often there are events that last for a week, or even single-day activities for young people that may be of interest. Sign him up for as many of those as you can.

Create a schedule that includes reading and prep for school. Most schools provide vacation reading lists, so he should be working on those assignments throughout the summer. You should check to make sure he is doing them.

Finally, make it clear to him that he has to do things that you arrange if he also expects to do things with his friends. The penalty for bailing on you is being prohibited to hang out with them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every summer for the past few years I have gone to visit my mother for a week or so. This year I haven't scheduled the trip yet. Things have gotten very busy at work, and I have been invited to participate in a few fun activities on the weekends with new friends. I just haven't booked my trip.

My mother is getting up in age, so I know I should go see her. As I look at the summer schedule thus far, though, I don't see a time that will work. I was thinking of planning the trip for early fall. Do I seem selfish for not making the trip now? I can go in September. What do you think? -- VISITING MOM

DEAR VISITING MOM: You need to talk to your mother and manage her expectations. If you have a rhythm that you have followed for years that you are now breaking, chances are she will notice. This doesn't mean that you can't change your trip. It does mean that you need to check in with her and make a plan together.

First, verify in your schedule when you think it works best for you to spend a week with your mother. Then talk to her about your idea of visiting in the early fall. You should also get a sense of how she is managing and what her plans are for the summer. Check to ensure that she isn't simply waiting for you to come but that she is active at home and enjoying her life, too.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)