DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a new job this year, and it has me traveling more than ever. I like it, but it is taking a toll on my husband. He is so dependent upon me, I don’t think he eats when I am away. I do my best to make food for him that he can warm up, but sometimes I just can’t do it. My schedule is full, and I find it challenging to do everything. My husband does know how to cook, but he doesn’t like to.
I don’t want my job to disrupt my marriage, but I do need him to chip in a bit. Before I took this job, he had been out of work for more than a year and we needed me to find something. I feel like he resents the fact that I got a job. I’m trying to do what’s right for my family. I need my husband to participate and stop making me feel bad for not being able to do everything. -- Stretched Too Thin
DEAR STRETCHED TOO THIN: It’s time for a family meeting. Check in with your husband to find out how he thinks he is managing since you took this job. Point out the obvious: You are on the road a lot, and you feel it is taking a toll on both of you. Tell him that you cannot do all of the things you used to do for the family and that you need his help. Don’t talk about him not having a job. Instead, paint a picture of today and what the needs are, and invite him to step up. At the same time, give yourself permission to stop trying to do everything. If you don’t cook for him every day, he will eventually remember to take care of himself.