DEAR HARRIETTE: When I travel with my children and my husband, I find myself overpacking to ensure that I have everything I need for them and for myself. During our vacations, I find it difficult to relax and wind down. I’m always preoccupied with one thing or another. I’d like to take it easy for my next trip. How can I achieve this goal and break free from self-induced worrying all the time? -- Worrywart

DEAR WORRYWART: I believe in lists. Before your next trip, make a list of what you will do each day of your vacation. Be specific -- even as you know that things may vary. Based on your schedule, think about what each of you needs to be ready for the activities listed. This includes clothing, shoes, accessories and logistical details such as contact information and maps (even if they are through a GPS, as you may want to download them in advance in case you find yourself in a Wi-Fi-free zone). Then give each family member the list and have them pack for themselves -- except for very young children, of course.

When you are on your trip, tell yourself that you will be fully present and enjoy each moment. You can set forth your plan but remain flexible as you and your family decide how you will spend your time each day. You can be spontaneous and confident when you are prepared.

DEAR HARRIETTE: As a parent, do you understand why many children nowadays watch online personalities play video games? I’m OK with my kids playing video games by themselves on occasion, but I see no point in watching other people play them. Is this something I should I allow my 12- and 14-year-old boys to watch? Most of the gaming personalities use a lot of profane language. -- Not Watching Video Games

DEAR NOT WATCHING VIDEO GAMES: Before you make a decision, do some video watching yourself. Since your boys are already fans of these things, ask them to watch it with you. No matter how awkward this may be, you need to know exactly what they are seeing and how you feel about it. Watch their reactions, too. I don’t know enough about the dynamic you are mentioning with the observation of online personalities to have an opinion, but you can form your own by seeing the video games with your own two eyes.

Sadly, you cannot prevent your boys from hearing profanity these days. In most places, the moment they go outside their door they may hear people walking down the street cursing. It is far too common today. You can let them know how you feel about it.

You can also limit the amount of time your boys are allowed to use their electronic devices, which will help manage how exposed they are to any of these outside forces. Banning particular sites may be close to impossible.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work for a woman who can be extraordinarily difficult. It’s so bad that I break into a cold sweat before scheduled calls with her. I’m constantly worried that I will not measure up to her expectations. My boss is rude and condescending usually, though other times she acts like an angel. I never know which person I’m going to get. I need this job, so I don’t want to walk away from her, but I am growing weary of feeling like I have to be on guard. What can I do to stop letting her get under my skin? -- Time to Relax

DEAR TIME TO RELAX: I had an aunt who was completely no-nonsense. When I was little, she told me that one of the torture tactics used during World War II was the taunting of prisoners by their captors with anything that made them feel vulnerable. She told me that I should never let people see me upset or nervous, because then they have an advantage over me.

While my aunt’s advice may seem harsh, I have used her words from time to time. I consider myself to be both sensitive and practical. When I have had to work with people who are rude or dismissive, I do my best to remember that it is not personal -- usually the issue lies with the other person and not with me. Moreover, I make sure that I am fully prepared. I work to figure out all of the possible ways that I can be ready for engagement with my difficult client. When I do that, I am able to draw upon factual information rather than trip over errors on my part or undue criticism on hers.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Occasionally, I work with a guy on a project that puts us in close proximity. He is very nice and does a good job, but he has horrible B.O. I’m not exaggerating. I got in his car today, and while it is tidy, it smells like his B.O., too. I do not think that he bathes every day.

I think my co-worker is a former hippie. He is in his mid-60s, and I bet he learned that you shouldn’t waste water by bathing daily. Whatever the case, I have a strong sense of smell, and I gag most times I am near him. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I’m not sure what to do. I think this is essentially a cultural difference between us. He’s already in his 60s. I doubt that he would start practicing different hygiene if I tell him he stinks. What can I do? -- Funky Co-Worker

DEAR FUNKY CO-WORKER: Sadly, I think you are right. You will likely create awkwardness without the desired results if you approach him about his body odor. Instead, consider any of the following: wearing lemon oil on your pulse points that will warm up when you blood starts flowing faster and help cleanse the air; sucking on a mentholated lozenge that will release a strong menthol smell that may mask the odor; bringing a cleansing room spray to clear the air in your work space; or opening the window in the car.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a freelance producer, and I have struggled a lot with finding enough work. This year has been different. I have had quite a few small jobs, and I am grateful for them. The problem is that it is hard to keep track of small projects when they overlap. I scheduled a short vacation this summer, but then I got a gig and had to do the prep work during my vacation. My boyfriend was mad because he took off work from his 9-to-5 and expected me to do the same. I wanted to, but I worry about turning down work when I remember so well that a year ago I had none. How do I manage this new reality? -- Freelancer Blues

DEAR FREELANCER BLUES: If you intend to remain a freelance producer, it is in your best interest to make it clear to your boyfriend how your schedule works. While it may be possible for you to take time off completely, it is not wrong for you to stay on-call during vacation when you are just coming out of a work drought. Talk to him about the realities of time management when you work for yourself and are beholden to a variety of clients. Make sure he is comfortable with your work style, and you with his. Otherwise, your relationship is destined for ongoing conflict.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father has been dead for about 10 years. My mother was inconsolable for a long time, but recently she met a nice man who has been paying a lot of attention to her. They go out to dinner, and he comes over to visit. It seems really sweet to me. My siblings worry that he is trying to steal my mother’s money, but she really doesn’t have much money outside of my father’s Social Security check and pension. If she gets married, I’m pretty sure she loses all of that. So she knows she won’t be marrying for money. How can I convince the others that she is OK? -- Mom Is Dating

DEAR MOM IS DATING: Give your mother some breathing room to enjoy this man’s company. If you feel like you need to check in, start with her. Ask her what she thinks his intentions are and if she is worried at all about him wanting to take her money. Express your thoughts to her so that she can review them herself.

She should talk to this man about his intentions and his finances. It works only when both parties are open to the discussion. She should exercise a fair amount of discretion as she gets to know this man. But know that it is your mother’s prerogative to spend her money however she chooses. If she uses your father’s pension and social security to enjoy her life with this man or if she loses them upon marriage, so be it. If you or your siblings were counting on any of that money yourselves, you will have to make peace with the shift also.

Talk to your siblings and work with them to accept your mother as a mature adult who is making her own decisions. Of course, be there for her if you ever feel that she is being manipulated.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)