DEAR HARRIETTE: I suffer from allergies in a severe manner. I am allergic to everything from food to bugs to dust to flowers. The summer season is tough for me.

I try to downplay my allergies, but I’m not sure what to do. For the second time, my friend has invited me to stay at her summer home in the woods in a very buggy location. Last year, my family and I went. We had a great time, except that I was always on EpiPen alert, and I got a million mosquito and other bug bites, and my whole body was inflamed. I do not think it is wise for me to go back, so I declined the invitation. Now my whole group of friends is mad at me. They are calling me a diva and all kinds of names, when actually I’m just trying to protect myself. How can I make it clear that I am happy to hang out with them, just not there? -- Allergic Friend

DEAR ALLERGIC FRIEND: Your health is more important than making your friends feel good. If they don’t get that, there are two possibilities to blame: 1. You have downplayed your health issues so much that they don’t realize it’s serious, or 2. They are selfish and really don’t care. Either reason is bad. You have to make it clear to them that you want to be there with them but you need a location to sleep that is less dangerous for your overall well-being. See if anyone would share a hotel room with you. In this way you stay in the loop and go to what you can but sleep in relative safety.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that a close family friend’s son came out as gay. I was happy that they trusted me enough to tell me. Now I wonder what I should do with this information. I am a gay man. Obviously, I am not interested in this teenage boy, but I do know a lot about the scene. More, I know about dealing with family after they learn that you are gay. Should I offer to be in contact with him? If so, should I reach out to him personally, or just talk to the parents? How should I ultimately address any rapport that develops between me and this young man with his parents, since they told me about his situation in the first place? -- Gay Living

DEAR GAY LIVING: Tell the parents that you would like their blessing to develop a rapport with their son. You know a lot about living as a gay man, and you would like to be there to support him. Make it clear that you will not be a spy. Instead, speak in generalities. You may tell them about the fact that you are becoming friends and that you talk about his life, but you will not serve as a go-between. Promise to be a sounding board and a moral compass for this young man. Then give reports when needed about his general development. Encourage him to talk to his parents directly about his choices.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am unable to express my thoughts during meetings due to my anxiety and fear of speaking out of turn to my superiors. Throughout my life I’ve had difficulty properly expressing my thoughts when I speak, whether it be due to nerves or stumbling on my words. What are some ways I can shed this fear and anxiety and be comfortable to speak in meetings? -- Anxious Newbie

DEAR ANXIOUS NEWBIE: Preparation is key. Spend time thinking about and preparing bullet points of what you intend to share with your superiors. Do enough research so that you feel completely comfortable with the content of the conversation. Then map it out so that you are clear about what needs to be shared. Practice so that you can know what it feels like to express yourself with confidence while delivering your message. The more you practice, the easier the situation will become. Your goal is to be able to breathe comfortably and simply talk to anyone, including your boss, with ease because you are prepared with whatever information you need in order to have a successful encounter.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Throughout my childhood, I was always easily distracted, and I suspect I have a mild case of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I’ve been using ADHD medication that I’ve received from my friends, and it is extremely effective and useful to prevent me from getting distracted. I am not sure if my use of these medications -- such as Dexedrine and Adderall -- is drug abuse, or if it is something I should have been using in the first place.

I am planning on visiting my doctor in the hopes of getting diagnosed properly; however, I’m not sure if I want to tell him about my experience with medication. Taking it drastically improves my ability to get work done and benefits my career prospects as a whole, and I don’t want him to take it away. Do you think I should tell him this? -- Possible Adult ADHD

DEAR POSSIBLE ADULT ADHD: Thank you for sharing this private side of your life. It takes a lot to speak up when the stakes feel high. You may have ADHD, or you may have something else. It is smart for you to get properly diagnosed under a medical doctor’s care. Yes, you should tell your doctor what you have been ingesting, the quantity, dosage, etc. This information is critical to an accurate diagnosis on the doctor’s part.

Talk about yourself, your concerns, your goals, your challenges and your triumphs. Explain how your behavior changes with the use of the medication. Answer your doctor's questions honestly so that you can receive the most accurate diagnosis. Then, listen to whatever the doctor says, and do your best to heed the advice given. Give the medical professional’s diagnosis a chance -- no matter what it is.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: When my husband starts enjoying himself at a party, he tends to drink too much, and he gets obnoxious. It can be pretty embarrassing. I don’t know what to say to him to get him to calm down. Once he has passed a certain point, there’s no turning back. How can I encourage him to be more moderate in his public drinking? I want to have fun with him, but it often turns ugly. -- Ugly Drunk

DEAR UGLY DRUNK: You need to talk to your husband when the two of you are together, alone and sober. Get his full attention, and suggest that if either of you is ever heading toward intoxication or uncontrolled behavior, you have permission to alert the other before things go downhill. Including yourself will help your husband not to feel overly defensive.

If he refuses to accept that his behavior is ever inappropriate, share specific incidents and what happened so that he can better understand the conduct that you are describing. If he is totally unwilling to see his role in the situation, film him next time so that you can show him what he does in the moment. Hopefully, the cold-water-in-the-face reality of a video might wake him up to his bad behavior.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter invited a friend to spend a week with her at our summer house, but things got uncomfortable after a few days. I think it was too much togetherness for two young ladies who aren’t really close.

My daughter, who is an only child, invited this girl because she is part of her friend group -- but also because her closer friends couldn’t come. It all worked out OK, but there were definitely some tense moments. Do you have any advice for what to do to occupy an only child’s attention when her best friends are not available? -- Alone or Not

DEAR ALONE OR NOT: Talk with your only child about how long she thinks she can be comfortable with anyone -- especially someone who is not so close to her -- one-on-one. Ask her to think of how she might handle this situation differently in the future. She needs to take ownership for what occurred because she wanted to have a friend along.

Talk it out with her. If a trip is long, should she have a friend for a while and spend the other part of the time just with her parents? As an only child, she probably enjoys alone time. When she doesn’t have it, she can feel claustrophobic. You may also recommend that she create alone moments even when friends are with her. It is OK to have quiet time when you are entertaining people over an extended period. If she can learn to claim her space, she will be able to enjoy close or peripheral friends and still have her peace of mind.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)