DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started suspecting that my sister is involved in an abusive relationship. This wouldn't be her first time dealing with a toxic partner, but I thought she would have used her past experiences to never return to the same situation. I am not 100% sure, but there are a few signs that I am picking up on that let me know that things aren't going well for her. For instance, I noticed she had two broken nails wrapped up in a bandage. When I gently asked her about the situation, she told me it was her boyfriend who was the cause. She explained how they were just playing, and he's too rough at times. This doesn't sit well with me. I don't want to overstep my boundaries because she always protects his image and would get defensive if I accused her boyfriend of such a serious thing. However, I want to find out for sure if she really is in an abusive situation. How can I help find out and help my sister, without it being too obvious? -- In Danger

DEAR IN DANGER: Unless you physically witness your sister’s boyfriend hurting her, it will be difficult for you to prove anything. What you can do is talk to your sister and remind her how much you love and appreciate her. Tell her that you are worried about her well-being and that you hope that she will tell you if she ever feels unsafe or is in trouble. Tell her that you will do whatever she needs to help keep her safe. Encourage her to do things with you and with friends outside of the relationship. Resist the temptation to judge her. Be a good listener.

You can also suggest she learn more about getting support by calling 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). You can read more at thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old. My 5-year-old has been in preschool and is picking up bad habits from other kids. One of her teachers explained to me that there is a kid in her class bullying and hitting my child whenever the kid is upset. When my daughter comes home from school, she in turn hits my youngest daughter out of anger whenever she gets in trouble.

I hate how she learned this bad behavior and practices it at home with her sister. I also hate that she is going through this at her school. The teacher said this has been going on for a while, but I'm confused as to why she hasn't taken the appropriate steps to stop it. What can I do as a mother to change this situation? -- No More Bullying

DEAR NO MORE BULLYING: Talk to the school administrator immediately to find out why this bullying has not been handled and reported to you earlier. You should have been told at once. It is negligent of the teacher to have allowed this to continue.

You should look for another preschool in which to place your child. It is not worth it for her to have to endure this behavior. At the same time, you need to talk to her about managing her anger so that she unlearns that bad behavior.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend has been broadcasting his recent breakup all over social media, and I’m concerned about him. I do not agree with the fact that he’s posting all of these things as he seems extremely hurt and is being unkind to his ex, who is my also my friend. I want to approach him; however, I do not know how to comfort him effectively in a volatile situation like this. How should I reach out to him and tell him to maybe avoid making these posts, but without crossing a line? -- Friend to a Public Breakup

DEAR FRIEND TO A PUBLIC BREAKUP: Ask your friend if you can get together. Start by saying how sorry you are that his relationship ended. Explain that it is hard for you because you are friends with both of them, and you don’t want either of them to be sad.

Then go for it. Tell him that you have noticed the many emotional posts on social media and how disturbing you find them. Acknowledge that you know he is upset and hurt, but point out that what he is writing is only making things worse. Suggest that he take a time out from social media while he is dealing with the pain of the breakup. If he pushes back, let him know how upsetting you find his posts and that others feel the same way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My grandma is afraid to fly on an airplane, and it prevents her from going to all of the important family trips and events we have. I remind her that more accidents happen in everyday life than on airplanes. But when something goes wrong with an airplane, it’s highlighted and covered more since it doesn't happen too often. My grandma still won’t budge and prefers to take trains to different states if she needed to. She wants me to accompany her. I love her, but I won’t take a 14-hour train ride when taking a plane would be only a few hours. How can I resolve my grandma's fear of flying? -- Time to Travel

DEAR TIME TO TRAVEL: I’m going to make a suggestion that you won’t like at first, but hear me out: Consider giving your grandmother the gift of traveling once with her on that 14-hour train ride. Just once. Instead of thinking of it as a horrible experience, consider it a perfect opportunity for the two of you to spend quality time together. Plan with her what you will do during the ride. Maybe you can bring some playing cards, family photo albums, books to read out loud and a few special dishes to eat. Make it a memorable occasion.

On the way home, invite your grandmother to try the flight the next time. And promise to ride with her both ways and to bring some of the fun activities that you enjoyed on the train trip. She just might budge.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Happy Independence Day! I trust that you are enjoying your family and friends on this special day that marks the freedom that America promises all of us every day. We all have stories and memories of the Fourth of July.

Today marks the 50th anniversary of my husband and his sister moving to the United States from Jamaica. They were part of the Caribbean migratory wave that began many years ago. When my husband recalls that pivotal period of time, he talks about how his grandmother, Luna, decided -- at the very time that she could have considered retiring -- it was time to make a better life for her family. In her mid-60s, she got a sponsor who invited her to move to the United States to work for the family. This is what allowed her legal entry.

Soon after, my husband’s mother joined, also being sponsored by this family. It would be three long years before my husband and his sister, who was six years younger than him, would see their family again. They were left in the care of family and friends, but the path to bringing family over was long and arduous. George spent three of his formative years without his parents’ supervision. From ages 11 to 14, he had to be the man of the family, to look out for his baby sister and to be responsible all around. Those were tough years, but the bonds of love between him and his sister and with their mother and grandmother were strong.

Coming to America literally did mark independence for the two of them. They both went to art schools and have gone on to build dynamic careers and families. They have Luna’s vision to thank for the opportunity to expand their horizons. They came to this country on the Fourth of July, and my husband still remembers the feeling he had as the plane landed and he began to imagine what his future would hold.

The promise of America is palpable. Apart from Native Americans -- whose legacy started here -- and African descendants -- whose ancestors were captured and brought here against their will -- EVERYBODY else has descended from immigrants, from people who chose to come to this country to create a better life for themselves. The effort is always tremendous. The reward is invariably worth it.

I think of the many people who have set America as their North Star, as their beacon of hope for creating a better life. While I know that not everyone can come here to live, I yearn for a more pleasant, humane way of managing immigration. It is important for all of us to understand that most of the people who make their way to our country do so because they are praying for the freedom and opportunity that this country offers. Many who come here desperately want to escape persecution, poverty or oppression. I invite us all to practice kindness and compassion toward those who want what we have.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)