DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend has been broadcasting his recent breakup all over social media, and I’m concerned about him. I do not agree with the fact that he’s posting all of these things as he seems extremely hurt and is being unkind to his ex, who is my also my friend. I want to approach him; however, I do not know how to comfort him effectively in a volatile situation like this. How should I reach out to him and tell him to maybe avoid making these posts, but without crossing a line? -- Friend to a Public Breakup

DEAR FRIEND TO A PUBLIC BREAKUP: Ask your friend if you can get together. Start by saying how sorry you are that his relationship ended. Explain that it is hard for you because you are friends with both of them, and you don’t want either of them to be sad.

Then go for it. Tell him that you have noticed the many emotional posts on social media and how disturbing you find them. Acknowledge that you know he is upset and hurt, but point out that what he is writing is only making things worse. Suggest that he take a time out from social media while he is dealing with the pain of the breakup. If he pushes back, let him know how upsetting you find his posts and that others feel the same way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My grandma is afraid to fly on an airplane, and it prevents her from going to all of the important family trips and events we have. I remind her that more accidents happen in everyday life than on airplanes. But when something goes wrong with an airplane, it’s highlighted and covered more since it doesn't happen too often. My grandma still won’t budge and prefers to take trains to different states if she needed to. She wants me to accompany her. I love her, but I won’t take a 14-hour train ride when taking a plane would be only a few hours. How can I resolve my grandma's fear of flying? -- Time to Travel

DEAR TIME TO TRAVEL: I’m going to make a suggestion that you won’t like at first, but hear me out: Consider giving your grandmother the gift of traveling once with her on that 14-hour train ride. Just once. Instead of thinking of it as a horrible experience, consider it a perfect opportunity for the two of you to spend quality time together. Plan with her what you will do during the ride. Maybe you can bring some playing cards, family photo albums, books to read out loud and a few special dishes to eat. Make it a memorable occasion.

On the way home, invite your grandmother to try the flight the next time. And promise to ride with her both ways and to bring some of the fun activities that you enjoyed on the train trip. She just might budge.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Happy Independence Day! I trust that you are enjoying your family and friends on this special day that marks the freedom that America promises all of us every day. We all have stories and memories of the Fourth of July.

Today marks the 50th anniversary of my husband and his sister moving to the United States from Jamaica. They were part of the Caribbean migratory wave that began many years ago. When my husband recalls that pivotal period of time, he talks about how his grandmother, Luna, decided -- at the very time that she could have considered retiring -- it was time to make a better life for her family. In her mid-60s, she got a sponsor who invited her to move to the United States to work for the family. This is what allowed her legal entry.

Soon after, my husband’s mother joined, also being sponsored by this family. It would be three long years before my husband and his sister, who was six years younger than him, would see their family again. They were left in the care of family and friends, but the path to bringing family over was long and arduous. George spent three of his formative years without his parents’ supervision. From ages 11 to 14, he had to be the man of the family, to look out for his baby sister and to be responsible all around. Those were tough years, but the bonds of love between him and his sister and with their mother and grandmother were strong.

Coming to America literally did mark independence for the two of them. They both went to art schools and have gone on to build dynamic careers and families. They have Luna’s vision to thank for the opportunity to expand their horizons. They came to this country on the Fourth of July, and my husband still remembers the feeling he had as the plane landed and he began to imagine what his future would hold.

The promise of America is palpable. Apart from Native Americans -- whose legacy started here -- and African descendants -- whose ancestors were captured and brought here against their will -- EVERYBODY else has descended from immigrants, from people who chose to come to this country to create a better life for themselves. The effort is always tremendous. The reward is invariably worth it.

I think of the many people who have set America as their North Star, as their beacon of hope for creating a better life. While I know that not everyone can come here to live, I yearn for a more pleasant, humane way of managing immigration. It is important for all of us to understand that most of the people who make their way to our country do so because they are praying for the freedom and opportunity that this country offers. Many who come here desperately want to escape persecution, poverty or oppression. I invite us all to practice kindness and compassion toward those who want what we have.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: During his first year of college, my son joined a fraternity. I am concerned that what he went through during his pledging process did not adhere to his and our religious ideals. I don’t want to control his religious identity, but he tells me he is still Muslim, and I expect him to live in accordance with our faith.

How do I ask if my child still believes in our religion, and what should I do if he doesn’t anymore? I would disagree with him but want to respect his choice. -- Religion in College

DEAR RELIGION IN COLLEGE: When your child gets to the point of college, your prayer should be that you have laid the groundwork for him to make smart decisions based on the values you have taught him and the decision-making tools you have given him. Will he make mistakes? Without question. Should you still have some measure of influence over him? Yes, but now it is limited. Your son needs to have space to make choices and live with them. I do not recommend that you query him about every single thing he does. Instead, I suggest that you continue to talk to him about values and ask him to consider how he can become part of his college community without losing those beliefs.

The pledging process for fraternities and sororities has many “secret” components. You may never learn all that he experienced, and honestly, that’s probably for the best. Beyond what has already occurred, focus on the future. Encourage your son to navigate his life keeping his religious beliefs in mind. Be aware that he will not be perfect in his efforts to grow into adulthood. If you think back on your own life, chances are, you made your share of mistakes, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has been experiencing a midlife resurgence of regular exercise, and while that is beneficial to his physical health, I’m concerned it is affecting his relationship with our son. He has been forcing our son to partake in various sports, and although my son is doing these activities, he’s constantly complaining that he’s being overworked, having to balance this regular intensive exercise with his work. How can I go about mediating this situation? -- Overworked

DEAR OVERWORKED: Remind your husband that this surge in exercise is his passion, not your son’s. Suggest that he give your son some time off from the rigors of exercising so that he can have time for the other things that are important to him. Negotiate a more reasonable amount of time per week that your son works out with him. Then make sure that your son shows up for the agreed-upon schedule.

The way you can make this less agonizing for your son is to give him some say in what he chooses to do with his dad. What does he enjoy that his father is now doing? He can choose that. Also, encourage your son and your husband to use this time together to talk about life and other topics that will help the two of them bond.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)