DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends gives me the cold shoulder whenever they are around someone popular. When we hang out together, it is fun, and we share a bunch of secrets, laughs and jokes. We are in high school, and I appreciate this because it’s not easy for me to make friends. But if they are around someone who is cool, it's like my friend forgets about me completely and tries to impress these people. It hurts my feelings, and I am unsure how to bring it up. -- Dumped

DEAR DUMPED: You have to bring this up with your friend. Next time you are alone, ask them why they do that to you -- namely, ignoring you when cool people come around. Tell them that at first you thought it was a fluke, but you have noticed that they do it all the time. You don’t understand how you could go from being tight and enjoying each other’s company to being instantly ignored when these people come around that they are trying to impress.

Be direct. Tell your friend that it hurts your feelings. Add that you aren’t asking them to ignore those people, but if you are together, it would be good manners to include you in the conversation rather than ignoring you. If they refuse to consider your perspective or forget to change their behavior and be more inclusive, you should get up and walk away. Don’t just stay there and allow them to ignore you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I get anxious whenever I'm in public, and it affects my life negatively. I am in the hospitality industry, and I know I have to be a people person, but in reality, I feel as though I can't take being in public. I get nervous and embarrassed and feel as though all eyes are on me. I feel like I get negative attention when I am outside, and it has caused me to become an introvert and not socialize with family or friends. It even has had a negative impact on previous jobs and job interviews. Can you provide me any tips to look past this fear of being around others? -- Past the Fear

DEAR PAST THE FEAR: In my work, I teach people how to present themselves effectively. This includes how to get out of your head and become confident in the moment. The first thing you should do is get prepared before you go to a public function. Research the purpose of the event, and find out who is expected to be there. Read up on the organization and the individuals. Think about what you would like to know about them before you arrive. Formulate brief questions so that you are ready to speak when the moment is right

Arrive on the early side. That’s when most of the important people are present and before the event gets too crowded. Using your research, identify people to speak to. Mention something relevant that you learned in your reading. Connect with them based upon mutual interests.

You might also consider taking classes at Toastmasters. It is an affordable option for learning how to become a confident speaker in public settings when you may feel nervous or unsure.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got laid off from my summer job working at a bar. The reason is unfortunate: The bar owners expected us to be very busy during the summer, but business is not what we expected. I planned to work there until going back to college. I tried to convince my bosses to wait a little while, since the season has just begun, but they let me go. I don’t know what to do now. I need to work, plus my parents don’t want me just hanging out at home all summer. They said I need to find something to do, even if I can’t find a job. -- No Job

DEAR NO JOB: You need to look for another job immediately. Look online for job postings in your area(s) of interest, but also pound the pavement. Walk around neighborhoods that have restaurants, bars or other establishments where you think you might be able to work. Look for help wanted signs, and also walk in and confidently ask a manager if they are looking for summer help. Go into densely populated areas that have a lot of foot traffic. That might be in the business sector, in active shopping malls, in fast-food restaurants and even in car washes.

If you are unable to find employment, consider volunteering. Again, look for businesses that seem to need help. You can offer to be an intern or volunteer to help around the office. You can explore community centers, religious organizations or any type of business. Look for something that interests you and, if possible, matches your studies. In this way, you support your educational growth as you also use your time wisely.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently learned that one of my friends, a respected rising senior at his university with a student leadership position, has a troubling habit: He takes copious amounts of acid during his downtime. How do I rationalize this behavior? I would think this would be extremely detrimental to his health, but my friends who are closer to him think he can handle it. Should I talk to him about it? How should I approach that conversation? -- Acid Interest

DEAR ACID INTEREST: You do not have to rationalize what your friend does. Rather than talking to other people about his habit, you should speak to him directly. Tell him that you have discovered that he uses acid often and that you are having a hard time understanding why. Tell him that you are concerned about his health and his future. After that, leave it alone. You cannot control his choices. And the reality is, even smart people with bright futures use drugs -- at least some do. You do not have the power to get him to stop. You can decide if you still want to hang out with him or if you will walk away if you are ever in his company when he is using.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've really connected and hit it off with a new friend I've been chatting with on social media. We have exchanged numbers and have been texting every day. The conversation flows smoothly. However, I've been noticing a pull back. He started to take several hours to respond to my messages and then suddenly completely stopped. I waited a couple of days before sending any more messages. I then sent a message asking if everything was going well, and I received no response. My initial feeling was hoping that nothing bad happened to him, but my gut tells me that something fishy is going on. What are reasons you could provide -- if any -- for a person to just cut off communication so abruptly. -- Cut Off

DEAR CUT OFF: My guess is that this person has a spouse or significant other and either got caught or woke up to his reality. Your best choice is to leave well enough alone. If he ever does come back, challenge him hard on his sudden absence. You deserve an answer, but stop waiting for one.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I must respond to the recent column regarding the writer who was concerned about the new laws restricting abortion in places like Alabama and Georgia.

Aside from incest and rape, should the control over one's body perhaps begin before one gets pregnant? Women write and speak on this subject as though pregnancy just happens, when in fact there are numerous birth control options out there -- not to mention abstinence.

Along those same lines, once a woman is pregnant, it is no longer just her body that is affected by a decision to abort. The writer pointed out, "time and time again, we have seen Christianity used to promote violence and hate." This is absolutely true, but I would protest that such violence is based on the evil desires of mankind, and in no way represents the doctrines of Jesus. Indeed, His heart must be broken by such travesties committed in His name.

That said, does the writer -- who claims to be Christian -- not recognize the violence involved in abortions? An unborn child is either torn limb from limb in the mother's womb or burned to death in the mother's womb -- the very place the child should be safest. Does this not also break Jesus' heart?

Lastly, how can it be illegal in this country to destroy the egg of an eagle since it is known that it will become a full-fledged eagle if allowed, but legal to destroy a child in the womb -- at 6 weeks gestation, obviously a human being in the making? -- Another View

DEAR ANOTHER VIEW: Thank you for voicing your opinion, which, I know, is shared by many. This is a challenging topic, to be sure. There are no easy answers. While I absolutely do value human life and believe in using birth control as well as the practice of abstinence, I understand that the world in which we live and the stressors upon women in the sexual and reproductive arenas are significant.

I am not going to enter into the religious argument. I will leave that for you and the thousands of others who share your view. I will never begrudge someone his or her religious principles. But I also believe in the division of church and state, and I do not believe the state should get involved in religious issues.

My perspective is about safety and fairness. It is about reproductive rights. Today, men are supported without question when they want Viagra and other such drugs to increase their virility. Women are increasingly denied control over their reproductive rights. There’s something wrong with this picture.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)