DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I am constantly making mistakes in love. I am 23 years old, and I have had a few bad relationships. They started out OK, but every single time, something weird happened. I feel like I stay too long or for the wrong reasons. I make smart decisions in other areas of my life, but in romance, I suck. My friends all say that I am a nice young woman, I have good manners and I am pleasant to be around. I go overboard to make a man feel comfortable, but nothing seems to work. I want to have a relationship as I build my career. Do you have any ideas on what I can do? -- Wanting Love

DEAR WANTING LOVE: The best thing you can do for yourself is to figure out what qualities you appreciate in a partner, along with what you think you want in life. You are still young, so I’m sure you don’t have it all figured out yet. But you should have a sense of what you like about a potential companion. Make a written list of things that make you happy. Consider: He makes me laugh. He cares about my feelings. He pays attention to his family. He is helpful. He listens. He has great style. He likes to dance. He doesn’t do drugs. And so on. What is your list?

Now compare your list to the guys you have dated. How do they measure up? Chances are, not so well. This time, when you go out there, go with your list. See if a suitor falls in range of what you value. If so, proceed. If not, don’t go on another date. For wonderful insight into a young woman’s romantic journey (plus plenty more), read "More than Enough," a memoir written by former editor-in-chief of Teen Vogue Elaine Welteroth. She share stories that sound like so many young women’s -- of figuring out how to walk away from bad love into good love.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My new boyfriend recently -- and politely -- pointed out my tendency or instinct to take out my phone in social situations that seem to be at a lull and scroll social media “mindlessly.” Do you think this habit is something I should try to mitigate? How should I go about doing so? -- Social Media Addict

DEAR SOCIAL MEDIA ADDICT: Thank you for bringing up a real challenge that people face today -- what to do in awkward social situations. It is common for people to do as you do, to check out through the rabbit hole of social media. Unfortunately, that just makes the situation more unbearable for those around you.

It is far better to attempt to strike up a conversation with someone near you. You can discuss the nature of the event, if possible. To support that possibility, research wherever you are headed before you get there. Know who is expected, and have a bit of information on highlights in the news and other things that might be of interest to those who will gather. You can create icebreaker moments simply by being prepared to be in that room and engage with those who are expected to attend. Then you can be remembered for your great contributions rather than for checking out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Do you believe in love at first sight? Or even unspoken love? I'm currently in my third year of college and have noticed a certain guy around campus since I was a freshman. I can tell that he is attracted to me as well. When we first locked eyes, it's as if we recognized each other from somewhere. However, we have never actually said a word to each other.

He's on the baseball team, and his jersey number is 21. Now everywhere I go, I see that number pop up, whether it's part of the time on the clock, the number on the bus, commercials, social media, etc. ... You name it, I see it!

My friends think I'm delusional, but I feel as though he could be someone special. What are your thoughts on this situation? How do you know who The One is? -- The One

DEAR THE ONE: Stop doubting the messages that are coming to you and take action. You don’t need to consult your friends. You already know that you find this man interesting. Now it’s time to drum up the courage to speak to him.

You believe that he has noticed you. Perhaps you both are shy. Take a leap and go for it. Go up to him and say hello. Tell him that you have noticed him since you started at your university, and you would love to have a chance to talk. Invite him for coffee or some other quiet social interaction. What’s the worst that could happen? He could say no. That wouldn’t be so bad. The upside, though, is that he will likely say yes, and then you will both get a chance to see if the chemistry grows when you are face-to-face.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have teenage cousins who want to be "famous." We all probably had that desire at one point in our lives, but as I grow older, I realize that most famous people aren't truly happy because they have to sacrifice a lot to gain notoriety. My cousins are thinking about the money and the popularity aspect of fame, but there is more to life than that. How can I show my cousins the downside of fame so they don't waste time chasing a dream they don’t need? -- The Cost of Fame

DEAR THE COST OF FAME: Your cousins are growing up at a time when fame seems to be at their fingertips, thanks to social media. While it isn’t really true, it appears that anybody can build a persona and cultivate a following that will bring them recognition and wealth. In reality, most people do not reach that level.

Ask your cousins to think about what they want their lives to represent. Ask them about their interests and abilities. Encourage them to think about what they want people to think about them and what they stand for. If they can tap into their interests, that’s what they should be developing. They can get their core message to a larger audience through social media, but let them know that it takes a lot of time and hard work.

Remind your cousins that fame comes with a loss of privacy. People with thousands or even millions of followers may not be able to go to the grocery store without being spotted, or have a relationship go sideways without the world talking about it. Balancing a bit of “fame” with a lot of privacy ultimately is a healthier goal.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had an argument with my high school-aged son about something frivolous, and it devolved to the point where we both said hurtful things to each other. We have since put the argument behind us and acted normally, but without any real resolution or apologies from either side. As a father, at what point should I admit my transgressions, and how should I tell this to my son while conveying the idea that he is also in the wrong? -- Improving Dad

DEAR IMPROVING DAD: One of the most valuable lessons you can teach your son is how to admit when you are wrong. We all make bad decisions on occasion, and it is essential to be equipped to admit our mistakes with clarity and focus.

Your son observes everything you do. Show him through your example that you recognize your error and that you are sorry. You can tell him that you are sorry that the two of you had such a heated interaction recently. While you believe that what sparked the inflammatory moment was worthy of concern -- meaning you think your son did something wrong -- you do not like how it escalated, and you are sorry that you both said things that you regret. Tell him that even though the moment has passed, you wanted to revisit it for a moment to say that you hope the next time you have a disagreement, you both will be able to discuss or even argue a point without allowing it to turn ugly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like my organizational skills have deteriorated since graduating from college, and my more-cluttered nature has negatively impacted my job. What are some things I can do to better visualize my tasks and improve my organizational skills? -- Disorganized

DEAR DISORGANIZED: The good news is that you believe you employed organizational tools in the past. Think back to your college years. What worked for you when you were studying? What tools did you use that helped you to survive and thrive? Write those things down and review them to see how your old tools might apply to your current situation.

One strategy that I use for work and life that you may appreciate is making lists. Every single day -- including over the weekend -- I start my day with a list outlining everything that I need to accomplish for the day. I break the list down into categories -- projects, personal responsibilities, bills, health, etc. I make sure to make each entry manageable. For example, if I have a big deadline to meet, I prefer to separate it into small, specific activities that will lead to fulfilling the big effort. In this way, I can check off each small success as I head toward the bigger goal. Success inspires people to access energy to create greater success. This is especially helpful when a deadline is daunting or when the stakes are high.

You can make your list on your computer, on your smartphone or on a notepad. As you accomplish each task, check it off in the moment. This will keep you on track and keep you motivated.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)