DEAR HARRIETTE: My hair has been mostly gray since I was in my early 30s. I can thank my mom for that. Her hair turned white by 35. I have been dying my hair for years because I’m not ready to go “natural,” so to speak.

My new boyfriend keeps trying to get me to let my hair grow out. He says I’m beautiful as I am, and I don’t need to worry with hair color. That’s sweet and all, but I’m not ready for this. I think that it’s hard enough for women to make it in the working world as we get older. I’m in my 40s, but I still look pretty young for my age. I am fit and take good care of myself. For me, dyeing my hair helps me to keep a youthful appearance. That is important to me. How can I get him to appreciate my decision to continue to dye my hair? -- No Gray

DEAR NO GRAY: Thank your boyfriend for loving you so completely, and ask him to extend his love for you to the ways in which you want to express yourself. For you, natural is not gray, at least not now. You enjoy dyeing your hair, and you would like for him to like it as well.

Tell him your thoughts about aging and the workplace. Get him to see your side of this topic. Acknowledge how nice it is that he doesn’t care about your hair color and that he values you the same. Point out that he is not your boss or your industry. Ask for his support in your decision-making.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A young lady just started interning with me for the summer. She is very eager to do a good job and a bit nervous, which is normal at the beginning of a work relationship. The one thing that is bothering me is that she wears way too much perfume. It is overwhelming in our small office. I haven’t said anything yet because I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, but I can’t take it. The smell is so intense that it is nauseating. How can I bring this up to her? -- Aromatic

DEAR AROMATIC: At the end of a workday, take her aside and tell her that you need to share something with her. Tell her that you are extremely sensitive to smell, and you have noticed that she wears either a lot of perfume or a strong fragrance. Ask her stop wearing it or to apply less. Explain that the office is small and the fragrance is overpowering the space. Chances are, she will be embarrassed at first, but it has to be addressed.

You should know that when people are nervous, they often do things excessively, from fragrance and makeup application to overtalking. Sometimes these things settle over time. In other instances, they have to be addressed.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: For the most part, my son is a good student, but he struggled in one class all year long. When he got his first bad grade, I suggested that we get a tutor, but he insisted that he would be OK, and he discouraged me from getting involved. Now, at the end of the year, he is still struggling with this class. I am so mad at myself that I didn’t trust my instincts and get him the support he needed. How can I convince my son that there is no shame in getting academic support? I want to be mindful not to be too bossy, but at the same time, I do know best in this situation. -- Need a Tutor

DEAR NEED A TUTOR: Once you have your son’s transcript for the year in hand, review his grades and talk to him about what he thinks he did well and where he can improve. Get him to open up to you about his successes and failures. The more you can encourage him to own his achievements -- or lack thereof -- the better off you both are. As a high school student, he is learning to be independent, something essential for college and for life.

That said, you are still the parent, and you do know things he does not. Explain that having a tutor is smart because it can reinforce knowledge and help him to explore ways to articulate concepts from class in a more effective manner. There is no shame in getting this type of academic support. In fact, most schools encourage it.

Tell your son that you want to partner with him next year. At the first sign of difficulty in a class, agree to talk about it and to discuss what type of help he may need. Let him know that if you determine that a tutor is best, he must try it out and take it seriously. This is where you put your foot down -- but only after working to get him to co-sign the idea.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am part of a friend group that has been together since high school. Now we are grown women with children and adult lives, but we still stick together. It’s really nice. Because we know each other so well, it’s easy to talk about anything, even when we are having problems. I love that about my friends.

Recently, one of our group had the idea that we should get matching tattoos to show our enduring friendship. This is where I draw the line. I don’t want to get a tattoo. Everybody else does. How can I stay close with the group and also not give in to this request? -- No Tattoo

DEAR NO TATTOO: Whatever your friends plan to tattoo on their bodies, you can have made up in a necklace. Tell them how much you love and support them and how much you appreciate the sentiment of the tattoo. Then draw the line and make it clear that you will not be getting the tattoo. Because you want to be part of this group effort, tell them you will research having a necklace made with the symbol or word(s) that they intend to print on their bodies. You can invite them to get a necklace, too, if they like.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that my first girlfriend from ninth grade died by suicide in her first year in college. Though we did not stay together as a couple, we did remain friends. We even talked a little bit this year as we were getting into the groove of college. I knew that she would get depressed or sad at times, but this came as a complete shock. She was a nice girl, and she was smart and seemed to be on the right track. I am so saddened by this, and I wonder if there was something more I could have done as her friend. -- Devastated

DEAR DEVASTATED: I am so sorry for your loss. Having someone close to you die, especially when you are young, can be a gut-wrenching experience. When the person takes her own life, that’s even worse. Survivors are left with so many questions -- including yours, about what you may have been able to do to help.

Rather than agonizing over the what-ifs, since you cannot do anything to bring your friend back, concentrate on healing. Be gentle with yourself. Recognize that you suffered a loss and must give yourself time to grieve. Accept that you feel guilty for not being able to save her, but also recognize that rescuing her was not in your power. You can talk to her family and express your sadness and support for them. You should talk to other friends who are missing her. Sharing your feelings during this time is helpful.

If you find that you cannot shake your emotions, you may want to seek professional help. Talking to a therapist may help you process the range of feelings that you are having and help you to find peace. Read more about surviving a loved one’s suicide here: mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/end-of-life/in-depth/suicide/art-20044900.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am horrible with names, and I rarely remember what people are called even when I have known them for some time. I know this is nothing to be proud of, and I’m not. It’s just true.

The most uncomfortable thing happened the other day. I was at an event, and a guy who lives in my building was there. He came up to say hello, and I greeted him. I was talking with a group of other people, but I couldn’t remember his name, so I did not introduce him. There was an awkward moment, and he just walked away. What could I have done differently? -- Forgetful

DEAR FORGETFUL: Rather than snubbing your neighbor, you could have introduced him to the group by saying that he is your neighbor and inviting them to introduce themselves to each other. Yes, that could be slightly awkward, but it would also be inclusive.

In some instances, you may have to admit that you don’t remember someone’s name in order to complete an introduction. In such cases, just be transparent. Apologize for not remembering the person’s name, ask what it is and make the introduction.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)