DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two kids, and I am pregnant with my third. I love my kids beyond words, but I am not sure if I want any more. I am in a relationship with another man -- not my new baby’s father -- and intimacy is important. However, I don't believe in birth control or contraceptives. I am considering getting my tubes tied, but I understand that this is a big decision for me and my family. What if I change my mind in the future? On the other hand, if I get pregnant again too soon, it would be a huge financial burden. Do you have any advice for women like myself in this situation? -- Contraception

DEAR CONTRACEPTION: I appreciate your honesty, and I want to challenge you to think about your choices. You are about to have a child even as you are thinking that you don’t want to have another. You say intimacy is important, yet you do not believe in birth control or contraceptives. Ask yourself why you think this way. You need to question your belief system in the deepest ways. Intimacy without responsibility leads to children for whom you may not have the resources or bandwidth to usher into this world. Is that fair to them?

If you truly do not believe in any type of birth control, then abstinence should be the option you choose -- not intimacy -- as that is the only way you can prevent pregnancy.

Since abstinence is an extreme that most people will not maintain, birth control is the next-best option. I suggest that you speak to your obstetrician about your options. Having your tubes tied is one. Less severe options include using condoms, taking the birth control pill or having an IUD placed. It is time for you to reconsider your position on this -- for your own health and that of your growing family.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've grown close to my older brother as we are maturing. Every time we talk, we have a great time. We don't live near each other, so I understand the importance of keeping in touch. However, I feel as though the effort is a little one-sided. I am usually the one who calls him, and I have visited him several times. But I don’t get the same in return.

Each summer, my brother promises he'll visit, but he never makes it up to where I live. Every time he promises to call, he never does, and I end up calling. I get that we both have a lot going on, but at some point, I don't want the dynamic to continue this way because our relationship should be two-sided. How can I get my brother to see my frustrations? -- Call Me Back

DEAR CALL ME BACK: Getting someone to change long-standing behavior patterns as he matures may be unrealistic. If it hasn’t worked up until now, why do you believe it will at this point? That said, you can attempt to get your brother to see your position.

Bluntly tell him how you feel. Remind him of how close you are and how much you enjoy each other’s company. Tell him you would appreciate him picking up the phone sometimes and also him coming to visit you. Spell it out -- you think your relationship is one-sided with you doing all the work. As you both get older, you would appreciate him being more actively engaged.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Am I being catfished? I recently met a guy online, and he's beyond what I expected. We talk every day and have thoughtful conversations. We have similarities in the things we like and have many traits in common.

We are planning to meet in person, but I wanted to speak on the phone first and hear his voice to get more of a vibe than just through text messages. This is where the issue arises. He refuses to speak with me on the phone. He says he has anxiety and is extremely shy and doesn't want to run out of things to say. I've tried to convince him to talk to me, but he doesn't budge. Just to be sure, I asked him for more pictures of himself, and he sent them to me the next day. I can't tell if he's the real deal. -- Is This for Real?

DEAR IS THIS FOR REAL?: It is odd that this new suitor is eager to engage over texts but will not speak on the phone. Put your foot down. Tell him that you will not agree to meet with him until you have a phone conversation. Express your understanding that he may be shy, but he has to get past that in order to actually see you and have the chance to explore a relationship with you.

Be clear that his evasion will not work. If he refuses to engage through a call, end your communication. It is possible that he is catfishing you -- or posing as someone he is not with the intention to hoodwink you in some way. If he continues to pursue you, let him know that you would like to get to know him better, but it cannot work as long as he is unwilling to be more open with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working on a huge project with a new company, and so far, it has been going well. In the coming week I will be working on-site for several days. As I was ramping up for the in-person visits, I discovered that my main contact was terminated. It was abrupt, and I am in shock. I do know another person at the company and have reached out to her to be my liaison, but I am worried that my contract may fizzle out. What else can I do? -- Lost in Space

DEAR LOST IN SPACE: Thank goodness you have another contact there. Talk to this person immediately, and find out what steps she recommends for you to secure your relationship with the company. If you have a contract, read it carefully to learn if there is guidance on how the terms should be implemented when there is a change.

Get testimonials from any employees with whom you have already engaged. This may help you to maintain your position even after your contact is gone. Finally, act as if the work will continue, and stay closely aligned with the woman you know. Ask her to guide you through the coming days.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: There is a new Netflix series called "When They See Us" that retells and visualizes the story of the Central Park Five. I remember hearing about this story while growing up, and I felt a deep sympathy for the boys who lost their childhood while falsely imprisoned.

The series has been getting a lot of praise and hype because of how well it captures the truth and how deep it goes. A lot of people are saying how heartbroken they are.

Even though I know the general scope of what happened, I know it is important for me, as an African American, to support the show and watch it. However, I am terrified of what it will do to me emotionally. I know that what these men went through should outweigh my emotions, but watching a dramatization of what happened, knowing how it ends, will upset me deeply. What words of advice can you give for people who are afraid to watch the film, or anything related to black trauma in this country? -- Afraid to Watch

DEAR AFRAID TO WATCH: Having watched the series myself, I can tell you that it is hard to witness the atrocities revealed in the film as well as the myriad ways in which entire families and communities can be devastated when individuals are wrongly accused and convicted of crimes. And yet, I call this must-see TV for everyone, not just African Americans.

Racial discrimination, police brutality and the ills of the criminal justice system are not new, but they should not be considered a given. Change begins when people stand up and refuse to accept these things as the norm.

I recommend that everyone watch this series. You can do it in a group, followed by a discussion of what you viewed. Your next step could be attending your local community board meeting to talk about these issues and learn how your community is treating its people of color. You can reach out to your member of Congress to learn what actions are being taken on a national level to combat racism. You can make your voice known. And by “you,” I mean all of us.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I always carry a handkerchief because my parents told me that it was proper. It has come in handy over the years. What I’m unsure about is what should happen to a handkerchief after I offer it to someone in need. A friend recently had a sneezing spell, and the only “tissue” available was my handkerchief. I offered it to her, but I have never gotten it back. Do I ask her for it? -- Bye-Bye Handkerchief

DEAR BYE-BYE HANDKERCHIEF: In a perfect world, your friend would launder your handkerchief and return it to you. You can ask her if she still has it, and if so, request it back. But one unintentional side effect of your good manners and generosity is that you may end up losing a handkerchief or two along the way.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)