DEAR HARRIETTE: Am I being catfished? I recently met a guy online, and he's beyond what I expected. We talk every day and have thoughtful conversations. We have similarities in the things we like and have many traits in common.

We are planning to meet in person, but I wanted to speak on the phone first and hear his voice to get more of a vibe than just through text messages. This is where the issue arises. He refuses to speak with me on the phone. He says he has anxiety and is extremely shy and doesn't want to run out of things to say. I've tried to convince him to talk to me, but he doesn't budge. Just to be sure, I asked him for more pictures of himself, and he sent them to me the next day. I can't tell if he's the real deal. -- Is This for Real?

DEAR IS THIS FOR REAL?: It is odd that this new suitor is eager to engage over texts but will not speak on the phone. Put your foot down. Tell him that you will not agree to meet with him until you have a phone conversation. Express your understanding that he may be shy, but he has to get past that in order to actually see you and have the chance to explore a relationship with you.

Be clear that his evasion will not work. If he refuses to engage through a call, end your communication. It is possible that he is catfishing you -- or posing as someone he is not with the intention to hoodwink you in some way. If he continues to pursue you, let him know that you would like to get to know him better, but it cannot work as long as he is unwilling to be more open with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working on a huge project with a new company, and so far, it has been going well. In the coming week I will be working on-site for several days. As I was ramping up for the in-person visits, I discovered that my main contact was terminated. It was abrupt, and I am in shock. I do know another person at the company and have reached out to her to be my liaison, but I am worried that my contract may fizzle out. What else can I do? -- Lost in Space

DEAR LOST IN SPACE: Thank goodness you have another contact there. Talk to this person immediately, and find out what steps she recommends for you to secure your relationship with the company. If you have a contract, read it carefully to learn if there is guidance on how the terms should be implemented when there is a change.

Get testimonials from any employees with whom you have already engaged. This may help you to maintain your position even after your contact is gone. Finally, act as if the work will continue, and stay closely aligned with the woman you know. Ask her to guide you through the coming days.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: There is a new Netflix series called "When They See Us" that retells and visualizes the story of the Central Park Five. I remember hearing about this story while growing up, and I felt a deep sympathy for the boys who lost their childhood while falsely imprisoned.

The series has been getting a lot of praise and hype because of how well it captures the truth and how deep it goes. A lot of people are saying how heartbroken they are.

Even though I know the general scope of what happened, I know it is important for me, as an African American, to support the show and watch it. However, I am terrified of what it will do to me emotionally. I know that what these men went through should outweigh my emotions, but watching a dramatization of what happened, knowing how it ends, will upset me deeply. What words of advice can you give for people who are afraid to watch the film, or anything related to black trauma in this country? -- Afraid to Watch

DEAR AFRAID TO WATCH: Having watched the series myself, I can tell you that it is hard to witness the atrocities revealed in the film as well as the myriad ways in which entire families and communities can be devastated when individuals are wrongly accused and convicted of crimes. And yet, I call this must-see TV for everyone, not just African Americans.

Racial discrimination, police brutality and the ills of the criminal justice system are not new, but they should not be considered a given. Change begins when people stand up and refuse to accept these things as the norm.

I recommend that everyone watch this series. You can do it in a group, followed by a discussion of what you viewed. Your next step could be attending your local community board meeting to talk about these issues and learn how your community is treating its people of color. You can reach out to your member of Congress to learn what actions are being taken on a national level to combat racism. You can make your voice known. And by “you,” I mean all of us.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I always carry a handkerchief because my parents told me that it was proper. It has come in handy over the years. What I’m unsure about is what should happen to a handkerchief after I offer it to someone in need. A friend recently had a sneezing spell, and the only “tissue” available was my handkerchief. I offered it to her, but I have never gotten it back. Do I ask her for it? -- Bye-Bye Handkerchief

DEAR BYE-BYE HANDKERCHIEF: In a perfect world, your friend would launder your handkerchief and return it to you. You can ask her if she still has it, and if so, request it back. But one unintentional side effect of your good manners and generosity is that you may end up losing a handkerchief or two along the way.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been applying to a number of jobs in hopes of advancing my career. I expect to get interviews in the near future, but I struggle with accepting the first offer I get. I do not know how to express to interviewers that I am considering other jobs, and I often feel pressured by them to take the job on the spot because they convey an attitude that if I don’t accept at that very moment, I must not want the job badly enough. This makes it so I don’t get to hear what other jobs have to offer or process all of my options to the fullest. How can I express to interviewers that I am considering other jobs without ruining my chances of working with them? -- Keeping Options Open

DEAR KEEPING OPTIONS OPEN: You cannot tell a potential employer that you aren’t ready to accept their offer because you are waiting to see if something better comes along. That is out of the question. At the same time, you can ask for a certain period to make a decision. Since you seem to be getting offers, you can even be more discriminating with the interviews that you take. Select companies and opportunities that you are very interested in so that if you get an offer, it is for something that you really want. If you happen to receive two job offers in the same short space of time, you should think of which job you want the most. Decide what makes the most sense, and go with the one that will advance your career.

DEAR HARRIETTE: There are so many people running for president of the United States that I don’t know how to even begin to figure out who to vote for. I think that when there are so many candidates, it makes it close to impossible for the voters to learn enough about them. I want to be an informed voter, but I don’t have time to research 20-plus candidates and do each of them justice. What can I do to be informed? -- The 2020 Race

DEAR THE 2020 RACE: Watch the debates when they are held. Read a bit about each of the candidates so that you have a sense of who they are. Quickly, a few will begin to stand out. Do more research on those few so that you know where they stand on issues that matter to you. You can go to the candidates’ campaign websites to read their positions. All of the major news organizations have already run stories about the candidates. As time goes on, they will probe more deeply. The information is readily available online.

While you may not have time to go deep for all candidates, now is the time for you to make research about the 2020 election a top priority. Your knowledge about the candidates and the issues is essential. This includes paying close attention to the policies of the incumbent so that you are clear about how he is governing. Compare that to each of the other candidates, and let your research guide your vote.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)