DEAR HARRIETTE: My cousin and I are extremely close. We're like sisters. We both started a natural hair journey together, but with that comes trial and error. Certain styles that my cousin does with her hair are not the most flattering to her features. I don't want her to go out in public and have someone make a rude comment because of it. I've tried to tell her about this before, but she gets extremely offended and defensive, saying that she doesn't care what anyone thinks as long as she's happy with her hair. Sometimes it’s embarrassing to go out with her hair looking crazy. How should I resolve this issue? -- Bad Hair Days

DEAR BAD HAIR DAYS: Siblings and cousins who are like siblings disagree about things. The fact that you and your cousin began your natural hair journey together does not mean that you will choose to do things identically, that you will always come up with attractive styles or that you will consistently agree with the creative ideas that you try. That’s OK.

Learning how to manage natural hair, especially if it is curly, can take a lot of time and the right products to manage. Give your cousin the space that she needs to experiment. You can tell her when you think she’s gone too far, especially if she has a particular function to attend, but for the most part, just let her be. If she gets negative feedback, she will have to deal with that herself. Stop trying to protect her, as it feels like control to her. You might also look online for ideas on natural hair looks. Have fun exploring!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am so mad at myself. I made the commitment in January to work out at least three times a week after my doctor told me that I need to lose weight. I thought I was motivated to follow his directions, but I can count the number of times I have worked out so far this year on one hand. I know -- it’s awful.

Now it’s about to be summer, and I feel like a fat pig. I am up a whole clothing size, even though I was supposed to be down three sizes. I saw a photo of myself from over the weekend, and I was mortified by the person I saw in the pictures. I feel like I should just stay home and hibernate. I normally love summer, going to beach, all of it. But I can’t bear putting on a swimsuit looking the way I look now. What should I do? -- Beached Whale

DEAR BEACHED WHALE: It is not too late for you to take action. Resist the temptation to hibernate. What you need to do is move your body. Get up and take a walk. We are supposed to walk 10,000 steps every day. Get a free step tracker on your phone, and build up to 10,000 steps. (That’s about 5 miles.) It will take time to develop the stamina to do it, but you can. Consider going to the gym or taking a dance class. Find something that you enjoy that gets you moving. Drink lots of water, and cut down on the calories. If you commit today to moving your body, you will see results over time. Go outside and enjoy the weather! You deserve it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I forgot a friend's birthday. I have a busy schedule with work and kids, and my memory isn't as sharp as it once was. I realized my mistake six days after his birthday, and I sent over an apology. He told me that my forgetting made him feel sad, and he explained that my mistake was the reason why he hadn't been in communication with me, although I've been so busy I didn't even realize that. I'm struggling to determine if he is overreacting or if I really messed up. He did remember my birthday, but I feel as though it's not too much of a crime that I forgot. I don't think he accepted my apology. Should I leave the situation alone or continue to try and apologize? -- Missed Birthday

DEAR MISSED BIRTHDAY: Clearly, your birthday call is important to your friend. Your momentary memory lapse was not lost on him. If you think your friend is still feeling hurt, you can reach back to him and make it clear that you still love him and know that recognizing his birthday is important. Tell him one more time that you are so sorry that you missed him this year, then point out that this lapse in no way reflects a lack of caring on your part. After reiterating your affection for your friend, let it go.

To help yourself in the future, you may want to put alarms in the calendar on your phone to remind you of important dates. Technology can support you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started a new job where I am the youngest person in my department. This causes some people to mistreat me and try and walk all over me. I don't understand why older people in the workplace aren't receptive and open to being around younger co-workers. I respect that they were there first and have worked there longer, but I feel that I should be respected just as much. How can I get them to treat me better? -- Age Discrimination

DEAR AGE DISCRIMINATION: Sadly, this type of behavior is common in the workplace. Many co-workers assume that young people are uninformed and less capable of doing a particular job than they are. Disparaging comments and jabs can hamper your ability to do your job.

To get your co-workers to treat you better, first be excellent at your responsibilities so that your work is above reproach. Focus on doing a good job, and ignore the barbs whenever you can. When comments are taken too far, use humor to lighten the mood. For example, if someone says you are too young to understand something, you could jokingly ask when a person is too old to understand something else. You can directly say to someone who is saying inappropriate things to you that you would appreciate it if they would stop. Point out that it’s hard to do your job when you are constantly being harassed. Finally, go to human resources and report the individuals who are chastising you. Be specific with your complaints, using examples that reflect the exact language that was used and who the witnesses were.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbors’ backyard and mine touch. They had a pool, but it collapsed. Instead of fixing it, they've left it that way for over a year. The water is green and murky, and it is attracting insects and animals. We are friendly enough with our neighbors, but I feel like their issues are spilling over onto us. How should we approach them? We are unaware of their financial situation. -- Health Hazard

DEAR HEALTH HAZARD: Start by talking to your neighbors. Point out that the standing water in their pool is attracting unwelcome animals and bugs, and you are concerned about your family’s health -- as well as theirs. Request that they drain the pool at the very least. Ideally, they should dismantle and dispose of the pool remnants. You can make that request as well. If they refuse or drag their heels, you can call 311 and report the health hazard to your local authorities. Naturally, it would be better if you didn’t have to involve the law, but you should try to have this resolved as soon as possible. The hotter it gets, the more creatures and germs that murky water is likely to attract.

You mention not knowing their financial situation. That really shouldn’t matter. They can drain the pool themselves. Dismantling it may be more tedious, but it is their responsibility. If you are up to the challenge, you could offer to help them. If not, make it clear to them that either they handle this problem, or you will be forced to call the authorities.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've recently made some lifestyle changes for my health, and I had to switch gears regarding what types of food I make. I am not all the way vegan, but I have adapted a majority plant-based diet. I am known in my family as an amazing cook. But after experimenting with these new plant-based recipes, certain techniques and ingredients can't be used the same way. It is a bit discouraging when my food doesn't come out as good or as impressive as it used to be. I want to eat healthy, but I don't want to compromise my reputation. -- Learning to Cook Again

DEAR LEARNING TO COOK AGAIN: Give yourself a break. You are learning how to cook food that you weren’t eating on a regular basis, if at all. It takes time to figure out how to use new spices as well as different cooking techniques, and longer still to perfect them. It is natural that it will take time for you to discover how to master the right flavors for these new foods. Also, if you are limiting or eliminating salt, that means you need to learn how to substitute other spices to replace that flavor. Give yourself time to learn. Consider taking a class so that you can learn from experts about how to prepare vegetarian or vegan dishes. Make it fun, and in time you will be able to make delicious meals that rival those you used to make.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)