DEAR HARRIETTE: I forgot a friend's birthday. I have a busy schedule with work and kids, and my memory isn't as sharp as it once was. I realized my mistake six days after his birthday, and I sent over an apology. He told me that my forgetting made him feel sad, and he explained that my mistake was the reason why he hadn't been in communication with me, although I've been so busy I didn't even realize that. I'm struggling to determine if he is overreacting or if I really messed up. He did remember my birthday, but I feel as though it's not too much of a crime that I forgot. I don't think he accepted my apology. Should I leave the situation alone or continue to try and apologize? -- Missed Birthday

DEAR MISSED BIRTHDAY: Clearly, your birthday call is important to your friend. Your momentary memory lapse was not lost on him. If you think your friend is still feeling hurt, you can reach back to him and make it clear that you still love him and know that recognizing his birthday is important. Tell him one more time that you are so sorry that you missed him this year, then point out that this lapse in no way reflects a lack of caring on your part. After reiterating your affection for your friend, let it go.

To help yourself in the future, you may want to put alarms in the calendar on your phone to remind you of important dates. Technology can support you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started a new job where I am the youngest person in my department. This causes some people to mistreat me and try and walk all over me. I don't understand why older people in the workplace aren't receptive and open to being around younger co-workers. I respect that they were there first and have worked there longer, but I feel that I should be respected just as much. How can I get them to treat me better? -- Age Discrimination

DEAR AGE DISCRIMINATION: Sadly, this type of behavior is common in the workplace. Many co-workers assume that young people are uninformed and less capable of doing a particular job than they are. Disparaging comments and jabs can hamper your ability to do your job.

To get your co-workers to treat you better, first be excellent at your responsibilities so that your work is above reproach. Focus on doing a good job, and ignore the barbs whenever you can. When comments are taken too far, use humor to lighten the mood. For example, if someone says you are too young to understand something, you could jokingly ask when a person is too old to understand something else. You can directly say to someone who is saying inappropriate things to you that you would appreciate it if they would stop. Point out that it’s hard to do your job when you are constantly being harassed. Finally, go to human resources and report the individuals who are chastising you. Be specific with your complaints, using examples that reflect the exact language that was used and who the witnesses were.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbors’ backyard and mine touch. They had a pool, but it collapsed. Instead of fixing it, they've left it that way for over a year. The water is green and murky, and it is attracting insects and animals. We are friendly enough with our neighbors, but I feel like their issues are spilling over onto us. How should we approach them? We are unaware of their financial situation. -- Health Hazard

DEAR HEALTH HAZARD: Start by talking to your neighbors. Point out that the standing water in their pool is attracting unwelcome animals and bugs, and you are concerned about your family’s health -- as well as theirs. Request that they drain the pool at the very least. Ideally, they should dismantle and dispose of the pool remnants. You can make that request as well. If they refuse or drag their heels, you can call 311 and report the health hazard to your local authorities. Naturally, it would be better if you didn’t have to involve the law, but you should try to have this resolved as soon as possible. The hotter it gets, the more creatures and germs that murky water is likely to attract.

You mention not knowing their financial situation. That really shouldn’t matter. They can drain the pool themselves. Dismantling it may be more tedious, but it is their responsibility. If you are up to the challenge, you could offer to help them. If not, make it clear to them that either they handle this problem, or you will be forced to call the authorities.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've recently made some lifestyle changes for my health, and I had to switch gears regarding what types of food I make. I am not all the way vegan, but I have adapted a majority plant-based diet. I am known in my family as an amazing cook. But after experimenting with these new plant-based recipes, certain techniques and ingredients can't be used the same way. It is a bit discouraging when my food doesn't come out as good or as impressive as it used to be. I want to eat healthy, but I don't want to compromise my reputation. -- Learning to Cook Again

DEAR LEARNING TO COOK AGAIN: Give yourself a break. You are learning how to cook food that you weren’t eating on a regular basis, if at all. It takes time to figure out how to use new spices as well as different cooking techniques, and longer still to perfect them. It is natural that it will take time for you to discover how to master the right flavors for these new foods. Also, if you are limiting or eliminating salt, that means you need to learn how to substitute other spices to replace that flavor. Give yourself time to learn. Consider taking a class so that you can learn from experts about how to prepare vegetarian or vegan dishes. Make it fun, and in time you will be able to make delicious meals that rival those you used to make.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I turned the big 2-1 recently, and I am so excited to be entering this new phase of life as an adult. I was never allowed to drink before, but now that I am of legal age, I occasionally have a glass of wine. My immediate family is not used to seeing me consume alcohol, so I keep in mind to do it in moderation since I am still living in their home. I found out from my sister that my family has been talking about me behind my back, saying that I drink way too much and they are worried about me developing a habit. I think this is a little dramatic and excessive, and I am unsure how to talk to them about their reservations. -- Not an Alcoholic

DEAR NOT AN ALCOHOLIC: It sounds like your family members do not drink. That’s probably why seeing you drink alcohol at all is disturbing for them. While you are living with them, you may want to curb drinking there entirely. When you go out with friends or at social events, that’s when you can comfortably enjoy a glass of wine. Drinking where no one else is drinking can be awkward.

In terms of what to say to your family, bring up the topic directly. Tell them that you understand they are worried about how much you drink. Tell them that you believe you are responsible but that, if it worries them, you can curb any drinking at all at their house.

Rather than totally brushing off your family’s concerns, pay attention to how much you drink. If you notice that you are drinking daily or heavily, you may want to reduce your alcohol intake.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister constantly complains to me about her boyfriend. Whenever they get into an argument, she runs back to me and accuses him of awful actions, which makes me feel negatively about him. Then a few days later, she'll get back with him as if nothing ever happened.

My sister gets confused about why my attitude toward her boyfriend is negative, and I tell her it’s because of the things she tells me. She recently explained that her venting is all about getting someone on her side for the moment while releasing her frustrations. I want to be supportive, but I also want her to stop venting and taking me on her own toxic emotional roller coaster. -- In the Middle

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: You have to stand up for yourself. Stop your sister the next time she starts complaining about her boyfriend. Tell her that you cannot listen anymore because it is too difficult for you to experience the roller coaster of emotions that she dumps on you. Tell your sister that you love her and want her to be happy, but you are not able to be the dumping ground for her emotional challenges with her boyfriend.

To enforce this new position, you may literally have to end a conversation by saying goodbye and hanging up the phone or walking out of the room. If you stop listening entirely, she will eventually get the message that she cannot use you in this way.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)