DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbors’ backyard and mine touch. They had a pool, but it collapsed. Instead of fixing it, they've left it that way for over a year. The water is green and murky, and it is attracting insects and animals. We are friendly enough with our neighbors, but I feel like their issues are spilling over onto us. How should we approach them? We are unaware of their financial situation. -- Health Hazard

DEAR HEALTH HAZARD: Start by talking to your neighbors. Point out that the standing water in their pool is attracting unwelcome animals and bugs, and you are concerned about your family’s health -- as well as theirs. Request that they drain the pool at the very least. Ideally, they should dismantle and dispose of the pool remnants. You can make that request as well. If they refuse or drag their heels, you can call 311 and report the health hazard to your local authorities. Naturally, it would be better if you didn’t have to involve the law, but you should try to have this resolved as soon as possible. The hotter it gets, the more creatures and germs that murky water is likely to attract.

You mention not knowing their financial situation. That really shouldn’t matter. They can drain the pool themselves. Dismantling it may be more tedious, but it is their responsibility. If you are up to the challenge, you could offer to help them. If not, make it clear to them that either they handle this problem, or you will be forced to call the authorities.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've recently made some lifestyle changes for my health, and I had to switch gears regarding what types of food I make. I am not all the way vegan, but I have adapted a majority plant-based diet. I am known in my family as an amazing cook. But after experimenting with these new plant-based recipes, certain techniques and ingredients can't be used the same way. It is a bit discouraging when my food doesn't come out as good or as impressive as it used to be. I want to eat healthy, but I don't want to compromise my reputation. -- Learning to Cook Again

DEAR LEARNING TO COOK AGAIN: Give yourself a break. You are learning how to cook food that you weren’t eating on a regular basis, if at all. It takes time to figure out how to use new spices as well as different cooking techniques, and longer still to perfect them. It is natural that it will take time for you to discover how to master the right flavors for these new foods. Also, if you are limiting or eliminating salt, that means you need to learn how to substitute other spices to replace that flavor. Give yourself time to learn. Consider taking a class so that you can learn from experts about how to prepare vegetarian or vegan dishes. Make it fun, and in time you will be able to make delicious meals that rival those you used to make.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I turned the big 2-1 recently, and I am so excited to be entering this new phase of life as an adult. I was never allowed to drink before, but now that I am of legal age, I occasionally have a glass of wine. My immediate family is not used to seeing me consume alcohol, so I keep in mind to do it in moderation since I am still living in their home. I found out from my sister that my family has been talking about me behind my back, saying that I drink way too much and they are worried about me developing a habit. I think this is a little dramatic and excessive, and I am unsure how to talk to them about their reservations. -- Not an Alcoholic

DEAR NOT AN ALCOHOLIC: It sounds like your family members do not drink. That’s probably why seeing you drink alcohol at all is disturbing for them. While you are living with them, you may want to curb drinking there entirely. When you go out with friends or at social events, that’s when you can comfortably enjoy a glass of wine. Drinking where no one else is drinking can be awkward.

In terms of what to say to your family, bring up the topic directly. Tell them that you understand they are worried about how much you drink. Tell them that you believe you are responsible but that, if it worries them, you can curb any drinking at all at their house.

Rather than totally brushing off your family’s concerns, pay attention to how much you drink. If you notice that you are drinking daily or heavily, you may want to reduce your alcohol intake.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister constantly complains to me about her boyfriend. Whenever they get into an argument, she runs back to me and accuses him of awful actions, which makes me feel negatively about him. Then a few days later, she'll get back with him as if nothing ever happened.

My sister gets confused about why my attitude toward her boyfriend is negative, and I tell her it’s because of the things she tells me. She recently explained that her venting is all about getting someone on her side for the moment while releasing her frustrations. I want to be supportive, but I also want her to stop venting and taking me on her own toxic emotional roller coaster. -- In the Middle

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: You have to stand up for yourself. Stop your sister the next time she starts complaining about her boyfriend. Tell her that you cannot listen anymore because it is too difficult for you to experience the roller coaster of emotions that she dumps on you. Tell your sister that you love her and want her to be happy, but you are not able to be the dumping ground for her emotional challenges with her boyfriend.

To enforce this new position, you may literally have to end a conversation by saying goodbye and hanging up the phone or walking out of the room. If you stop listening entirely, she will eventually get the message that she cannot use you in this way.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My kids and my neighbors' kids have just started playing with one another, and I am happy that they are friends. However, my neighbors have a different set of rule for their kids that I don't really agree with for my own. We live by the woods, and while they allow their kids to run out and play near them, I am not comfortable with that. I'd rather my kids play in the front yard.

Since my neighbors' children are a bit older, they usually take the lead in these play sessions and often try to convince mine to come with them near the wooded area. I don't want to break up this friendship, but my kids’ safety comes first. How can I resolve this situation? -- Out of the Woods

DEAR OUT OF THE WOODS: The fact that you live near the woods means that it is only a matter of time before your children venture out to explore there. If you want to control that experience, I recommend that you go on small hikes with them so that you personally get to see what is in your woods. You can let them know what to look out for and what to avoid. If you don’t really know, scout out someone in your community who can teach all of you.

You can still make the rule that your children have to play in the front yard and that they cannot go into the woods without your permission, but it’s unlikely that your rule will last for long. So prepare them. If there is a scouting group in your area, consider signing them up for that, too, so that they can learn how to safely explore the woods.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an outdoor food and wine festival this weekend. It was a great event with all kinds of things to sample. As can easily happen at this type of event, some people got a bit tipsy. One woman stood out. I recognized her because she is somewhat controversial in our community, and I was surprised to see her there. But she also stood out because she was really drunk. Part of me wanted to see her get her due, and have the local press spot her and write about her drunkenness. I had that thought for a minute, but then my humanity kicked in. I could hear my mother’s voice in my head reminding me of the Golden Rule -- to treat people like I want to be treated. So I asked a mutual friend to help her out. I couldn’t have done it. We aren’t friends, and it would have been awkward.

I guess I’m writing to you because I’m still kind of mad at this woman for making such a dumb choice in even coming to the event in the first place. Should I follow up and say anything or just leave well enough alone? -- Bailing Her Out

DEAR BAILING HER OUT: Don’t do anything else. You resisted a vindictive urge and drew upon your humanity, which is great! Feel good about helping that woman stay protected against her own poor judgment. Now let it go. And hope that if you ever do something stupid, someone will come to your rescue.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)