DEAR HARRIETTE: I turned the big 2-1 recently, and I am so excited to be entering this new phase of life as an adult. I was never allowed to drink before, but now that I am of legal age, I occasionally have a glass of wine. My immediate family is not used to seeing me consume alcohol, so I keep in mind to do it in moderation since I am still living in their home. I found out from my sister that my family has been talking about me behind my back, saying that I drink way too much and they are worried about me developing a habit. I think this is a little dramatic and excessive, and I am unsure how to talk to them about their reservations. -- Not an Alcoholic

DEAR NOT AN ALCOHOLIC: It sounds like your family members do not drink. That’s probably why seeing you drink alcohol at all is disturbing for them. While you are living with them, you may want to curb drinking there entirely. When you go out with friends or at social events, that’s when you can comfortably enjoy a glass of wine. Drinking where no one else is drinking can be awkward.

In terms of what to say to your family, bring up the topic directly. Tell them that you understand they are worried about how much you drink. Tell them that you believe you are responsible but that, if it worries them, you can curb any drinking at all at their house.

Rather than totally brushing off your family’s concerns, pay attention to how much you drink. If you notice that you are drinking daily or heavily, you may want to reduce your alcohol intake.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister constantly complains to me about her boyfriend. Whenever they get into an argument, she runs back to me and accuses him of awful actions, which makes me feel negatively about him. Then a few days later, she'll get back with him as if nothing ever happened.

My sister gets confused about why my attitude toward her boyfriend is negative, and I tell her it’s because of the things she tells me. She recently explained that her venting is all about getting someone on her side for the moment while releasing her frustrations. I want to be supportive, but I also want her to stop venting and taking me on her own toxic emotional roller coaster. -- In the Middle

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: You have to stand up for yourself. Stop your sister the next time she starts complaining about her boyfriend. Tell her that you cannot listen anymore because it is too difficult for you to experience the roller coaster of emotions that she dumps on you. Tell your sister that you love her and want her to be happy, but you are not able to be the dumping ground for her emotional challenges with her boyfriend.

To enforce this new position, you may literally have to end a conversation by saying goodbye and hanging up the phone or walking out of the room. If you stop listening entirely, she will eventually get the message that she cannot use you in this way.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My kids and my neighbors' kids have just started playing with one another, and I am happy that they are friends. However, my neighbors have a different set of rule for their kids that I don't really agree with for my own. We live by the woods, and while they allow their kids to run out and play near them, I am not comfortable with that. I'd rather my kids play in the front yard.

Since my neighbors' children are a bit older, they usually take the lead in these play sessions and often try to convince mine to come with them near the wooded area. I don't want to break up this friendship, but my kids’ safety comes first. How can I resolve this situation? -- Out of the Woods

DEAR OUT OF THE WOODS: The fact that you live near the woods means that it is only a matter of time before your children venture out to explore there. If you want to control that experience, I recommend that you go on small hikes with them so that you personally get to see what is in your woods. You can let them know what to look out for and what to avoid. If you don’t really know, scout out someone in your community who can teach all of you.

You can still make the rule that your children have to play in the front yard and that they cannot go into the woods without your permission, but it’s unlikely that your rule will last for long. So prepare them. If there is a scouting group in your area, consider signing them up for that, too, so that they can learn how to safely explore the woods.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an outdoor food and wine festival this weekend. It was a great event with all kinds of things to sample. As can easily happen at this type of event, some people got a bit tipsy. One woman stood out. I recognized her because she is somewhat controversial in our community, and I was surprised to see her there. But she also stood out because she was really drunk. Part of me wanted to see her get her due, and have the local press spot her and write about her drunkenness. I had that thought for a minute, but then my humanity kicked in. I could hear my mother’s voice in my head reminding me of the Golden Rule -- to treat people like I want to be treated. So I asked a mutual friend to help her out. I couldn’t have done it. We aren’t friends, and it would have been awkward.

I guess I’m writing to you because I’m still kind of mad at this woman for making such a dumb choice in even coming to the event in the first place. Should I follow up and say anything or just leave well enough alone? -- Bailing Her Out

DEAR BAILING HER OUT: Don’t do anything else. You resisted a vindictive urge and drew upon your humanity, which is great! Feel good about helping that woman stay protected against her own poor judgment. Now let it go. And hope that if you ever do something stupid, someone will come to your rescue.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've recently been watching and have become of fan of a television show called "Little Women." It displays the lives of individuals born with dwarfism. I learn a lot about the condition and the problems little people face on a daily basis, but I also learned that they are just normal people.

Most of the show's cast members have kids, and this sparked a debate between a friend and me. My friend claims that it is selfish for these people to have kids because their kids often face the same medical conditions as their parents. He said that it's better for people with dwarfism to adopt children in foster homes instead of having their own. I feel the opposite and don’t understand his viewpoint. Little people do have struggles, but they operate in life the same way people of average height do, so they should have kids if they can provide for them. I told my friend he should adopt a child since he was so concerned about it. What middle ground, if any, can you offer to this debate? -- The Right To Have Children

DEAR THE RIGHT TO HAVE CHILDREN: What I appreciate about some of the reality shows that are airing these days, like "Little Women," is that viewers are exposed to the lives of folks they might otherwise never meet. While there can be medical challenges to people born with dwarfism, as the show depicts, they also face the same trials and joys as people not born with that condition. Also, as you have seen, they don’t always give birth to children with the same medical challenges. In fact, one of the women on the show has twins -- one with dwarfism, and one without.

I think that people of all backgrounds, including those living with any number of medical conditions, should talk with their doctors and review the risks of giving birth to children. There are many medical screenings that exist these days to help potential parents learn about what chromosomal risks they may face, as well as other concerns. My advice to your friend is to mind his own business.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have felt the urge to meet up with old friends recently. I’ve been so busy in recent years that I hardly get to see anyone. A couple of friends have died in the past few months, and it got me thinking that I really need to be more engaged with the people I love. The downside is that I’m exhausted from all of the socializing. I have a busy work schedule, and I have a family with teenage children. I need to pay attention to them, too. How can I manage what seems really important with the rest of my schedule? -- Betwixt

DEAR BETWIXT: This is why people have parties! Can you plan a barbecue or some other type of get-together this summer where it’s not so much a one-on-one but more a group of people you love coming together at one time to enjoy one another? While that’s not the same as an intimate dinner where you go into details with friends about your lives, it is a way for you to connect face-to-face with people you love.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)