DEAR HARRIETTE: A work colleague who I am not close to but occasionally collaborate with has bad breath. It is more than a bit uncomfortable to speak with him because I try to not be offensive or make faces, but the odor is not OK. I feel I should say something about it, but I am unsure how to go about it appropriately and respectfully. I have noticed that other people move away from him when he starts talking because they get a whiff of his breath. Even though this is an awkward subject, I know I would want somebody to tell me. What can I say? -- Bad Breath

DEAR BAD BREATH: I consulted with a dentist on this topic a few years ago, and he was adamant that people should discreetly speak up when they notice that someone in their lives has bad breath because it could point to serious illness. Halitosis doesn’t just happen. There is typically a reason -- anything from poor dental hygiene to gum disease, bronchitis, pneumonia, diabetes or liver disease. See this article for more information: webmd.com/oral-health/guide/bad-breath.

Knowing this, you could speak to your co-worker privately and tell him that you have noticed that he often has a bad odor to his breath, and you weren’t sure if he was aware of it. Tell him that you have learned that halitosis can be a sign of illness, so you wanted to give him the heads up. On a lighter note, you could offer him a mint as a short-term fix.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently met a great guy, but I found out he has two kids. I'm young. I don't feel ready to take on such an important role, but I really like this guy. I know his attention can never be fully on me. I don't want my selfish needs to get in the way, but I know I'll probably feel jealous if I continue to date him. I am unsure if I should tell him how I feel or just leave the situation entirely. -- Splitting Time

DEAR SPLITTING TIME: If you truly believe that you are not ready to be in a relationship that includes children, you should tell this man. It is beyond difficult for him to try to care for his children, do his job, navigate the dynamics with their mother and find time for a relationship. He needs a partner who is willing to be supportive of his children and who wants, eventually, to be part of their lives. If you are sure you aren’t ready for that, tell him. And yes, you probably should walk away, but don’t leave without explaining why. He deserves a partner who is ready for him and all that he brings to the table. You deserve the same thing.

Every relationship requires compromise. If you like each other enough, you may want to try to figure out what that compromise could be. Be honest. If you don’t want to offer what he needs, don’t pretend.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have brightly colored hair and a nose piercing. I know my image is not always seen as professional, and I find that to be a reason why I get turned down for jobs. However, my image is an expression of myself, and I am not willing to change. I honestly feel that times are changing with my generation starting to move into the workplace. People should not judge each other based on how they look, but by what they can do. I am well-qualified in my field, and I feel that should speak for itself. What do you think about the professional world evolving? -- Self-Expression and Work

DEAR SELF-EXPRESSION AND WORK: It is true that at this time in history, the workplace offers much broader opportunity for potential employees to express themselves freely. Yet it is still largely true that for many, if not most, jobs, dressing in some version of professional attire and styling is preferable. Many employers look to hire people with the necessary skills and worldview to match or at least fit in to the culture of their company.

The good news is that in many creative fields, there is a lot of flexibility around piercings, tattoos and hair color as well as style of dress. If you look hard enough, you are bound to find a company in a creative field that may welcome you if you have the skill set required. This may require you to move. Bigger urban centers tend to be more welcoming of diversity of all types.

Since you have experienced rejection firsthand that you attribute to your appearance, you may also want to reconsider how you present yourself in a job interview. Without compromising your integrity, what choices could you make that define you more professionally without denying the core of who you are? A mistake that people sometimes make is not understanding that it is possible to “be yourself” while also being respectful of what is expected of you where you are going. When you learn how to balance your personal desires with the requirements before you, you will likely find your life much more effective and fulfilling.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am so sad for my daughter. She has an on-again, off-again boyfriend who is stringing her along and killing her self-esteem. She is such a sweet young woman, but it’s almost like this man has occupied her heart and mind. Regardless of what he says or does to her -- nothing violent -- she keeps going back for more. I don’t know how to help her. I have pulled out all the stories I can recall about my friends and me with bad-news boyfriends when we were growing up, but she doesn’t hear anything. She needs to walk away. How can I help her make that choice? -- Bad-News Boyfriend

DEAR BAD-NEWS BOYFRIEND: This may be the perfect time for professional support. When a person’s self-esteem is dashed, it can seem impossible to climb out of a bad situation. I know people in similar relationships -- or worse -- who have shared that they feel like their boyfriend had control of their mind and soul. When that is happening, no matter how much you love your daughter, you may not be able to help her. Find her a therapist with whom she can discuss her life and talk through her challenges. That professional may be able to help her find a bridge back to herself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend wants to get plastic surgery, and I am completely against it. I know it's her body and her choice, but in my opinion, voluntarily going into surgery is purposefully risking her life. I keep trying to talk her out of it, but she's strong-willed and wants to get the procedure done. Nothing is wrong with her. She just wants to be aesthetically pleasing. I am worried that something will go wrong, and I don't want to lose her. -- Anti-Plastic Surgery

DEAR ANTI-PLASTIC SURGERY: As someone who had three nonelective surgeries back-to-back when I was in elementary school, I totally understand your apprehension about elective plastic surgery. You are not wrong to be concerned. There are instances when people have had complications, including death, as a result of surgery -- think Joan Rivers and Kanye West’s mom Donda.

That said, I have spoken to a number of plastic surgeons about how they work, and I do know that the level of preparedness that is required is significant. This includes a complete patient workup to ensure that her or his body is in good enough health to undergo surgery. Though things can go wrong, it is a rare occurrence.

Stop trying to convince your friend of anything. You have already clearly expressed your opinion. It is her life. Whether or not you like her choices, she gets to make them. Instead of being doom and gloom, encourage your friend to be in optimal health so that she will be as ready for the surgery as possible. You can also encourage her to research the aftermath and recovery period expectations. That is being a good friend.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister puts her fiance before her kids. I am not married, so I do not want to judge a situation that I am not in, but I feel as though my nieces and nephews are being slighted. They are not getting enough attention from their mother. She often gives them up to family or finds a baby sitter in order to hang out with her man as much as she can. Even on important holidays, I find out that she is not with her kids and is instead spending time with him. This makes me so upset to see because I fear eventually this will have a negative effect on them. I don't want to blow up the situation, but I do want to help. -- Absentee Mom

DEAR ABSENTEE MOM: Do your best to get your sister to sit down alone with you. Express your concerns about her children and the family’s future. Yes, it’s great that she has found someone she loves. But remind her that if this man is to become part of the family, they need to work together to build the family unit. That means she should be creating opportunities for her fiance to interact with her and the children as well as with the children on his own. It is unlikely that the marriage will be successful if he doesn’t become part of the whole family. Otherwise, the children will suffer. Actually, everyone will.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)