DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like too many people around me are getting sick. My best friend has been battling breast cancer for several years. Another close friend’s husband was just diagnosed with prostate cancer. My neighbor’s husband has metastatic prostate cancer. And that’s only the people closest to me. It is overwhelming for the ones who are sick and for their friends. I want to be a support to my friends, but I’m not sure how to do it. I am scared for them, and I don’t really know what to say. -- Supporting My Sick Friends

DEAR SUPPORTING MY SICK FRIENDS: The commitment that couples make when they marry comes to mind now -- in sickness and in health. Being a good friend to your loved ones who are fighting illness calls on that muscle that gives you the strength to stay by their side even when it’s tough. The way to be there is to be a good listener. You don’t need to try to solve any problems. Instead, just listen. Let your friends share their feelings, concerns and hopes. Resist the desire to try to solve their problems or be their doctor. Just be present in ways that make them feel supported and that don’t drain you too much.

You should also be vigilant about your own health. Be sure to get an annual complete physical, exercise regularly and eat a healthy, well-balanced diet.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who has worked in Hollywood for about 15 years. He had a good run getting gigs and making a little money, but it seems like his day in the sun, so to speak, has ended. I have tried to contact him just to be a friend. I still live in our hometown, but we have kept in touch over the years. I figured he could use an old friend from back in the day to be there for him, but he isn’t responding. I can’t solve his career or financial problems, but I would like to be there for him for moral support. How can I get that message to him? -- Take My Hand

DEAR TAKE MY HAND: Send your friend a note with an invitation to hang out for a long weekend. Offer to come to him or add the options of meeting someplace else or even back at home. Tell him you think it’s time for the two of you to have some good old fun. Don’t bring up his career status. Keep it light.

Follow up with a call. If he doesn’t answer, leave the same upbeat message on his voicemail letting him know you miss him and want to get together. In the end, your friend has to grasp what’s happening in his life and make the appropriate changes in order to survive. It may take him a minute to come out of his funk in order to recognize the value of your outreach. Don’t give up on him. Periodically check in to see if he is ready to re-emerge.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have constantly been labeled as "weird" or "socially awkward" by my family and peers. These terms are not ones I view as positive, and I don’t like being associated with them. I don’t know what specifically makes people view me as such, and I struggle because what I think of as normal obviously turns people off in a way.

I try to compare myself to others to see what I do differently from them. I also pay attention to my nonverbal mannerisms, but I cannot pinpoint what the issue is. Some people complain that I don’t smile, but when I do try and smile more, I am viewed as creepy or too happy. Some people think I am too quiet, but when I make the effort to talk, they express disinterest. No matter what I do, it is never properly received by others. This oftentimes leads to me being mocked and made fun of.

I am tired of feeling like something is wrong with me. This causes me to not want to interact with anyone or go outside at all. But I know that it is unhealthy to stay hidden in the house all day. How can I adapt myself to be accepted and to gain some confidence? -- Social Outcast

DEAR SOCIAL OUTCAST: A lot of people are socially awkward. Even though you may feel alone, know that you are not. It doesn’t help that your family members participate in this name-calling.

Go outside of your comfort zone to associate with a new group of people. Think about what interests you. What are your hobbies or areas of interest that can take you outside of your home? Look for events in those categories so that you can go where like-minded people gather. When you and those around you are interested in the same subject, conversation will naturally lead to that topic rather than to an analysis of your behavior.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I did not get a chance to join a sorority in college, and I feel as though I missed out on an experience. I know that there are graduate chapters for people such as myself, but I hear that it is difficult to get invited to join. I really value camaraderie and networking, and I feel like joining a sorority would give me a sense of purpose. What are some ways that you know for women in my situation to join one? -- Sorority Bound

DEAR SORORITY BOUND: Believe it or not, joining a sorority in grad chapter may be easier than when you are in college. At least this is true for some sororities.

In general, many people are interested in joining sororities, often more than there are spaces to join. I say this not to discourage you, but instead to prompt you to cast your net a bit wider. There are many women’s organizations that offer a strong sense of camaraderie and sisterhood with the added bonus of public service. Do research in your areas of interest to learn what organizations are active where you live. You can look up female-focused not-for-profits and sororities for starters. Find out what feels like a match. Prepare your resume and application materials carefully. Find sponsors when needed, and go for it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend just asked me if I can hire his college student daughter as an intern this summer. The internship that she was supposed to have fell through, and she is scrambling for something to do. I do have interns on occasion, so I am familiar with working with young people in the summer and teaching them about my work.

The thing is, I don’t know if this young lady is a good fit for me. As I remember her, she tends to be quiet and shy. I have barely had a conversation with her, even though I have been around her since she was little. While I know that the role of an internship coordinator is to guide and teach the students who come to work with you, I don’t think I have the time or inclination to draw this young lady out of her shell.

I thought it might be best to talk to her to get a sense of her interests and to see if it might be a fit for us to work together. I mentioned that to her dad and he said OK, but I could tell that he was a little taken aback that I didn’t just say yes. How can I manage my friend's expectations? I don’t want to disappoint him, but I also need to make sure I don’t agree to do more than I have time to manage. -- Internship

DEAR INTERNSHIP: Treat this potential internship like a job -- because it is. Talk to the young lady and determine if she's a good enough fit for it to be worth your while. If so, invite her to join you for a specified period of time. If it really doesn’t seem like it will work, talk to her about that directly. See if you can refer her to someone in your network who might be a better fit. Then speak directly to her dad and let him know that you passed, but you attempted to find her an internship for the summer.

If your friend seems upset with you because you didn’t take her, explain that the relationship has to be beneficial to both parties in order to work. You did not think her working with your company was a match, but out of respect for him, you did try to find her an appropriate placement.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who always promises to meet me places, but who rarely shows up. I mean, we could be on the calendar and have verified that we would meet only for me to be sitting around waiting and she is a no-show. I don’t get it. I am tired of being stood up, but I don’t want to walk away from this friendship. How can I get my friend to be more responsible? -- Rogue Friend

DEAR ROGUE FRIEND: Stick to talking to this friend on the phone. That way you aren’t being stood up over and over again. Another option is to invite her to join you and a group. In that way, if she doesn’t come, you are still having fun. You should also sternly tell her that you don’t appreciate her blowing you off all the time; therefore, you are going to stop inviting her to hang out with you. Creating boundaries with her may be the way that you can manage your time better.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)