DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends and I have lost contact. I could blame this on the fact that she got a job and moved to another state, but something just does not feel right. We checked up on each other while at separate colleges, so I know distance can’t be the single factor in breaking our bond.
She recently celebrated her birthday, and I reached out to her on Facebook and wrote a heartfelt message. I noticed that she viewed my message, but she never responded. This shocked me, and I have no clue as to why she no longer talks to me. I am not sure how to resolve this, but I want my friend back. -- Lost Friend
DEAR LOST FRIEND: Whatever occurred with your friend has prompted her to remain distant from you. You cannot control whether she will respond to you, but you can take one more step. Call her and see if she will answer the phone. If she does, tell her how much you miss her and point out that you know that something is off between you two, but you haven’t got a clue as to what it is. Ask her to tell you what’s going on. Request that she tell you if you have done something to offend or hurt her.
If she doesn’t answer the phone, send her a note that outlines your questions. Do not approach her in an accusatory way. Instead, tell her that you miss her and want to have your friend back, but it is clear to you that something is holding her back. You would like to know what it is. Even if she does not intend for you two to remain friends, let her know you would appreciate hearing from her as to why she has broken from your friendship.