DEAR HARRIETTE: I thought that my daughter and I had a great, open relationship where she talked to me about if not everything, most things. We have clear rules about what she can and cannot do, and there are checks and balances to ensure that she is following directions. With that, I have given her a lot more freedom since she is in high school and learning how to become independent.

Well, I just learned that she has been lying to me about how she spends some of her after-school time. It all just came to a head because she was in the middle of a potentially dangerous situation between another teenager and his absentee dad. I had no idea that any of this was going on.

I want my daughter to continue to learn how to figure out life for herself, but there must be consequences for her lying. If I can’t trust that she is telling me the truth about where she is and what she is doing, I have to limit her extracurricular activity. I’m not sure how to do that, though, since both my husband and I work. Any ideas? -- Protecting My Child

DEAR PROTECTING MY CHILD: First, let your daughter know the severity of her lying to you and how it put her in a dangerous situation. Make sure she understands that she made bad decisions when she did not communicate clearly with you or follow the agreed-upon guidelines. Next, put an app on her phone and yours that will track her, and require that she keep it on. Popular apps like this are Life360 and FindFriends. I’m sure there are others.

Enroll her in organized, supervised after-school activities. This is why having a sport or a musical instrument or some other engagement multiple times per week after school is popular -- it keeps teens occupied while under adult supervision.

For right now, ground your daughter for lying. Make it clear that lying is unacceptable. If she continues to lie, she will lose the privilege of hanging out with her friends after school and on weekends. To supervise that, you may need to hire a “baby sitter” for a while. She will hate that, but having someone to watch her for the few hours before you get home from work may be required.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I both have full-time jobs. I usually get home before he does, and I start dinner for the both of us. When he gets home before me, he does not make us anything. I feel like this is because he expects the woman to cook. I am not OK with this, and I feel unappreciated. How should I approach him with my concerns? -- Shared Household Chores

DEAR SHARED HOUSEHOLD CHORES: You may have created the expectation that you would always cook without realizing it. Talk to your husband. Tell him how much you would appreciate him making dinner sometimes, especially when you are running late. To the extent that you can plan this out in advance, it may help him to wrap his mind around the concept that this a new expectation for him. When you know you will be late, talk to him that morning and ask him to prepare dinner that day. Inform him of what there is to prepare. Perhaps this will get him thinking and acting with your well-being in mind.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I completed a project for work, checked it multiple times and turned it in. I was feeling pretty confident about my work, too. Then I did one last review and noticed a grammatical error. I know that my boss hates that, and he needs to be able to send out this project to other team members and to our client. Should I update it and send a clean version? I hesitate just because it is a small error, and maybe nobody will notice it. Bringing it to his attention may cost me my job, or at least the humiliation of him pointing out my flaws -- again. -- Bad Grammar

DEAR BAD GRAMMAR: I say revise the document and send it to your boss at once with a note pointing out the correction. What is most important to your boss is being accurate. He needs to be able to trust that you can turn in clean work, and that if you make a mistake, you are willing to own it and fix it at once. Yes, you run the risk of him chastising you about the error, but it’s way better for that to happen internally than for the company to be exposed to a client as having made this mistake. Chances are, your boss will look favorably upon you for double-checking, finding the error, fixing it and reporting it at once.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is a bit older than me. Our friend group describes him as elusive. When he is present, he is the life of the party. When he doesn’t feel like being bothered, he is grumpy or just absent. He often uses his elderly family members as an excuse for not showing up.

Last year, he told us that his mother died. He wasn’t close to her, but still, it was sad. This year, he mentioned that he went to visit another elder who was having a birthday party. Then he said his mother wasn’t able to attend. Huh? Is he just playing us? We were all so sad for him about his mother’s passing. Now he’s saying that she is still alive.

We’re feeling manipulated at this point. We want to be good friends to him, but we don’t know what to believe. Seems like he has been lying so long he may not even know how to tell the truth anymore. What should we do? -- Caught in a Lie

DEAR CAUGHT IN A LIE: It could be that your friend is suffering memory loss. It could be that his default excuse that he has to deal with family elders when he has committed to doing something with friends is growing old. Since you are close and this is making you uncomfortable, speak up. This may be the time for the heart-to-heart that you have never had. Be forthright with him, and let him know that you would rather he just tell you the truth instead of using his family as an excuse.

Tell him how disconcerting it was that he told you last year that his mother died only for you to discover this year that she is still living. Ask him for the truth, and tell him that it is upsetting you and the rest of your friend group. Pretending that his mother died, if that’s what actually happened, is unconscionable.

If his response suggests that he doesn’t remember saying that or there is confusion around who’s alive or dead, know that he could be suffering from memory loss. If that’s possible, encourage him to get himself checked out. If you think he’s lying, you will have to decide how to receive future information about his family so that you can protect yourself from a yo-yo of emotions.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently met a man who sparked my interest, but he does not have a job. I do not want to be shallow and just use this factor for a reason not to date him. However, I also want to be smart and realistic. Should I be supportive of him in his situation and wait for him get himself together, or should I view this as a red flag? How long should I wait this out? -- Questionable Dating Material

DEAR QUESTIONABLE DATING MATERIAL: Here’s a perfect opportunity to take it slow. If you like this man, why not take the time to become friends with him first? You can talk to him on the phone, occasionally grab a coffee or do some other affordable activity. You don’t have to say anything to him about his joblessness being an impediment. Instead, encourage him to keep looking when he brings it up. If he doesn’t, stay out of that lane. You don’t want to become an enabler.

In terms of how you should view this man as it relates to your life, make a list of priorities for what you want in a partner. One may be financial stability, but I bet there are plenty of other factors. List them all, and make a second column with turnoffs. Be specific on both sides. Then compare your list to this man. Let your assessment tell you whether he is a potential partner down the line. Most important: Don’t feel you have to make a decision right this minute. You can pay attention and see how things unfold.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My older cousin and her spouse have been begging my sister and me to come and spend the weekend with them. We spent one weekend with them before, and we had a great time going on outings but were not comfortable in the house. It was not clean. My cousin asked if they had been bad hosts, but we did not know how to respond. -- Dirty House

DEAR DIRTY HOUSE: Is there any chance you can invite your cousin and her spouse to spend the weekend with you? If it is possible to shift the dynamics so that you can be together without having to be in their home, all would appreciate the fellowship.

If you cannot avoid it, you may have to have the difficult but honest conversation, telling your cousin how much you enjoyed their company at your last visit, but adding that you didn’t feel comfortable in their home. Let me ask: Could you possibly help them tidy? If there is a chance that they may not be on top of things because they are older and they need some help, a solution might be for you and your sister to give them the gift of spring cleaning. No matter what, broaching the subject will likely be awkward, but if you can actually be part of the solution, if only for this moment, it may represent a turning point for them in their home and you in relation to them. It’s worth a try.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)