DEAR HARRIETTE: I completed a project for work, checked it multiple times and turned it in. I was feeling pretty confident about my work, too. Then I did one last review and noticed a grammatical error. I know that my boss hates that, and he needs to be able to send out this project to other team members and to our client. Should I update it and send a clean version? I hesitate just because it is a small error, and maybe nobody will notice it. Bringing it to his attention may cost me my job, or at least the humiliation of him pointing out my flaws -- again. -- Bad Grammar

DEAR BAD GRAMMAR: I say revise the document and send it to your boss at once with a note pointing out the correction. What is most important to your boss is being accurate. He needs to be able to trust that you can turn in clean work, and that if you make a mistake, you are willing to own it and fix it at once. Yes, you run the risk of him chastising you about the error, but it’s way better for that to happen internally than for the company to be exposed to a client as having made this mistake. Chances are, your boss will look favorably upon you for double-checking, finding the error, fixing it and reporting it at once.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is a bit older than me. Our friend group describes him as elusive. When he is present, he is the life of the party. When he doesn’t feel like being bothered, he is grumpy or just absent. He often uses his elderly family members as an excuse for not showing up.

Last year, he told us that his mother died. He wasn’t close to her, but still, it was sad. This year, he mentioned that he went to visit another elder who was having a birthday party. Then he said his mother wasn’t able to attend. Huh? Is he just playing us? We were all so sad for him about his mother’s passing. Now he’s saying that she is still alive.

We’re feeling manipulated at this point. We want to be good friends to him, but we don’t know what to believe. Seems like he has been lying so long he may not even know how to tell the truth anymore. What should we do? -- Caught in a Lie

DEAR CAUGHT IN A LIE: It could be that your friend is suffering memory loss. It could be that his default excuse that he has to deal with family elders when he has committed to doing something with friends is growing old. Since you are close and this is making you uncomfortable, speak up. This may be the time for the heart-to-heart that you have never had. Be forthright with him, and let him know that you would rather he just tell you the truth instead of using his family as an excuse.

Tell him how disconcerting it was that he told you last year that his mother died only for you to discover this year that she is still living. Ask him for the truth, and tell him that it is upsetting you and the rest of your friend group. Pretending that his mother died, if that’s what actually happened, is unconscionable.

If his response suggests that he doesn’t remember saying that or there is confusion around who’s alive or dead, know that he could be suffering from memory loss. If that’s possible, encourage him to get himself checked out. If you think he’s lying, you will have to decide how to receive future information about his family so that you can protect yourself from a yo-yo of emotions.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently met a man who sparked my interest, but he does not have a job. I do not want to be shallow and just use this factor for a reason not to date him. However, I also want to be smart and realistic. Should I be supportive of him in his situation and wait for him get himself together, or should I view this as a red flag? How long should I wait this out? -- Questionable Dating Material

DEAR QUESTIONABLE DATING MATERIAL: Here’s a perfect opportunity to take it slow. If you like this man, why not take the time to become friends with him first? You can talk to him on the phone, occasionally grab a coffee or do some other affordable activity. You don’t have to say anything to him about his joblessness being an impediment. Instead, encourage him to keep looking when he brings it up. If he doesn’t, stay out of that lane. You don’t want to become an enabler.

In terms of how you should view this man as it relates to your life, make a list of priorities for what you want in a partner. One may be financial stability, but I bet there are plenty of other factors. List them all, and make a second column with turnoffs. Be specific on both sides. Then compare your list to this man. Let your assessment tell you whether he is a potential partner down the line. Most important: Don’t feel you have to make a decision right this minute. You can pay attention and see how things unfold.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My older cousin and her spouse have been begging my sister and me to come and spend the weekend with them. We spent one weekend with them before, and we had a great time going on outings but were not comfortable in the house. It was not clean. My cousin asked if they had been bad hosts, but we did not know how to respond. -- Dirty House

DEAR DIRTY HOUSE: Is there any chance you can invite your cousin and her spouse to spend the weekend with you? If it is possible to shift the dynamics so that you can be together without having to be in their home, all would appreciate the fellowship.

If you cannot avoid it, you may have to have the difficult but honest conversation, telling your cousin how much you enjoyed their company at your last visit, but adding that you didn’t feel comfortable in their home. Let me ask: Could you possibly help them tidy? If there is a chance that they may not be on top of things because they are older and they need some help, a solution might be for you and your sister to give them the gift of spring cleaning. No matter what, broaching the subject will likely be awkward, but if you can actually be part of the solution, if only for this moment, it may represent a turning point for them in their home and you in relation to them. It’s worth a try.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A co-worker informed me that his 13-year-old daughter is having suicidal thoughts. He asked her if she was facing bullying at school, but she denies it. He does not know where these thoughts are coming from. He is thinking about therapy, but that is it. It is a difficult situation to hear. How can I take action to support his family? -- Suicidal Thoughts

DEAR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS: Sadly, teen suicide rates have risen alarmingly in recent years. One study suggests that teens die by suicide in greater numbers than by car accidents. Apparently, social media is part of the problem. The false sense of connection can actually prove to be quite lonely for teens and does not help them navigate these difficult years.

You can help your friend by being an active listener and suggesting reading materials that may help him to make smart choices to support his daughter. If you ever hear something that sounds particularly alarming, suggest that your friend take his daughter to the hospital at once. Potential suicide is an emergency. Suggest that your friend read up about suicide at suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Another source of information is this helpful article from USA Today: bit.ly/2XjEqbS.

For anyone, teenager or otherwise, who is feeling vulnerable and having suicidal thoughts, there is a hotline you can call where a real person will talk to you and listen to you so that you don’t have to feel alone. That number is 1-800-273-8255.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I am busy, I often rely on my boyfriend to watch our daughter. He always agrees to watch her if I am away handling business for a couple of days. However, I found out that he usually passes her off to his mother instead of watching her himself. I am not sure how to feel about this. Should I be grateful that I have someone to watch her for the weekend or complain to him about being responsible for her? -- Who's Watching My Baby?

DEAR WHO’S WATCHING MY BABY?: Check in with his mother to make sure that she is comfortable taking care of her grandchild during the times that you are away. If she is fine with it, you can feel some relief. If she needs help, find out what it is, and see if you can provide it somehow. That would be the time to sit down with your boyfriend -- not to scold him, but to let him know that this is a strain on his mother.

If grandma is enjoying spending time with her granddaughter, don’t jump in and complain. It is fairly common for male partners to get other family members to help with the children when mom is away. Is it fair? No. Is it real? Yes. Complaining about him and putting him down for not accepting his responsibilities will not suddenly make it better. More likely, the outcome will be that he will resent you. Hopefully he will grow to have a close relationship with his daughter, and he will choose to spend more time with her. Your positive input can help to foster that bond.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)