DEAR HARRIETTE: A co-worker informed me that his 13-year-old daughter is having suicidal thoughts. He asked her if she was facing bullying at school, but she denies it. He does not know where these thoughts are coming from. He is thinking about therapy, but that is it. It is a difficult situation to hear. How can I take action to support his family? -- Suicidal Thoughts

DEAR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS: Sadly, teen suicide rates have risen alarmingly in recent years. One study suggests that teens die by suicide in greater numbers than by car accidents. Apparently, social media is part of the problem. The false sense of connection can actually prove to be quite lonely for teens and does not help them navigate these difficult years.

You can help your friend by being an active listener and suggesting reading materials that may help him to make smart choices to support his daughter. If you ever hear something that sounds particularly alarming, suggest that your friend take his daughter to the hospital at once. Potential suicide is an emergency. Suggest that your friend read up about suicide at suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Another source of information is this helpful article from USA Today: bit.ly/2XjEqbS.

For anyone, teenager or otherwise, who is feeling vulnerable and having suicidal thoughts, there is a hotline you can call where a real person will talk to you and listen to you so that you don’t have to feel alone. That number is 1-800-273-8255.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I am busy, I often rely on my boyfriend to watch our daughter. He always agrees to watch her if I am away handling business for a couple of days. However, I found out that he usually passes her off to his mother instead of watching her himself. I am not sure how to feel about this. Should I be grateful that I have someone to watch her for the weekend or complain to him about being responsible for her? -- Who's Watching My Baby?

DEAR WHO’S WATCHING MY BABY?: Check in with his mother to make sure that she is comfortable taking care of her grandchild during the times that you are away. If she is fine with it, you can feel some relief. If she needs help, find out what it is, and see if you can provide it somehow. That would be the time to sit down with your boyfriend -- not to scold him, but to let him know that this is a strain on his mother.

If grandma is enjoying spending time with her granddaughter, don’t jump in and complain. It is fairly common for male partners to get other family members to help with the children when mom is away. Is it fair? No. Is it real? Yes. Complaining about him and putting him down for not accepting his responsibilities will not suddenly make it better. More likely, the outcome will be that he will resent you. Hopefully he will grow to have a close relationship with his daughter, and he will choose to spend more time with her. Your positive input can help to foster that bond.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been in a relationship for 26 years, but I am still not married. I have built a life, a home and a family with this man, but we have not taken the next step. I am waiting for him to show me that he appreciates me by marrying me. It just isn't happening. I am tired of waiting. Is it worth staying, or should I finally move on? -- The Next Step

DEAR THE NEXT STEP: You have stayed in this relationship for nearly 30 years. Why? It’s time for you to assess your reasons for remaining committed to this union and for creating, as you say, “a life, a home and a family with this man.”

To walk away now because he has not married you seems illogical. You should have put your foot down years ago to make it clear that being married to him was a requirement in order for him to get the rest of the package. You cannot blame him because you did not enforce the requirements that live in your heart.

Tell him that you love your life, but there is a big part missing for you -- the formal step of legally getting married. Ask him to marry you. Tell him that you have wanted to be married to him for all these years, and you don’t want to wait any longer. See if that gets him to budge. If not, you may be disappointed, but ask yourself, is walking away really what you want?

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am considering having children in the near future. Several issues regarding parenting choices have made headlines recently, particularly about vaccinations. I have seen good reasons for vaccinating and good reasons not to. I want to make the best choices for the family I create. I am leaning more against vaccinating, but I understand that society would shame me. How do I deal with the decision I make in a society that revolves around western medicine? -- Vaccinations and Social Pressure

DEAR VACCINATIONS AND SOCIAL PRESSURE: Vaccinations are one of many hot-button issues for parents. As you can see right now, however, the question about vaccinations has a lot to do with the bigger issue of public health. What you must do is research the pros and cons of vaccinating your child. It is a no-brainer for me; so many children are vulnerable and ill because they were exposed to measles without their bodies having the protection offered by vaccinations, which has been routinely required for generations.

I have traveled a lot and witnessed communities without access to the vaccinations that we in the United States consider standard medicine. Routinely, their children and elderly succumb to illnesses that are easily preventable. I would not put my child at that type of risk.

If you choose to skip vaccinations, you will need to figure out where your child can be educated and engage others in order to protect him or her from exposure to a host of germs. Many parents make that choice. If you do, you will face certain scrutiny. Your response should be grounded in the facts and figures you are using to support your decision, not emotion.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: We have several gender stereotypes and expectations in our society. Specifically, men are viewed as the ones who are supposed to chase and approach women. They are also supposed to be the ones to propose marriage. This causes many women -- like myself -- to miss out on opportunities and relationships. We do not take the chance or make the first move on men. Do you feel that times should progress into a more gender-neutral society, or should these gender roles remain traditional? -- Changing Expectations

DEAR CHANGING EXPECTATIONS: Depending upon who you talk to, expectations have already changed dramatically for many people. And yet, some of the so-called classic behaviors remain desirable for some people. I think it is perfectly acceptable for you to invite a man out if you are interested in him. It is OK for you to approach someone you like. What happens too often is that the nice guys who are sometimes shy and not as forthcoming as the more experienced guys do not make moves at all. And then, sadly, some people never get a chance to connect. For initial interactions, then, I think it is OK for either women or men to “make the first move” and express interest.

When it comes to asking to get married, ideally both parties have a good sense that they are ready. The idea of getting married should come because both partners have come to be close to each other and are choosing each other for the long haul. Having mutual love and respect should lead to the next step -- marriage. While it is romantic and old-school to entertain the idea of a man swooping in to ask your father for your hand in marriage before asking you, it is also perfectly fine for you to present your own invitation to your beloved. Making a commitment that includes marrying the family -- because you really do -- is what’s most important.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a small consulting firm, and I am working to build my clientele. One of my new clients is nice but difficult. He is always late for meetings or reschedules at the last minute. I don’t want to walk away from this client, but I can’t afford to sit around and not accept other work only for him to cancel at a moment’s notice. I’m nervous about charging a kill fee or full fee for a no-show, but I’m not sure what else to do. -- Value My Time

DEAR VALUE MY TIME: You should make guidelines for your clients that explain your terms for no-shows or late-comers. If you have a standard policy that you follow, no client should take it personally when you charge them for time that they have squandered. While you may feel nervous about losing this client, you will need to assess whether it’s actually worth it for you to keep him if he is so unreliable that it’s costing you money.

Since you have not previously instituted a kill fee, you can let him know that moving forward you will now be instituting this fee, and you hope he understands.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)