DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been in a relationship for 26 years, but I am still not married. I have built a life, a home and a family with this man, but we have not taken the next step. I am waiting for him to show me that he appreciates me by marrying me. It just isn't happening. I am tired of waiting. Is it worth staying, or should I finally move on? -- The Next Step
DEAR THE NEXT STEP: You have stayed in this relationship for nearly 30 years. Why? It’s time for you to assess your reasons for remaining committed to this union and for creating, as you say, “a life, a home and a family with this man.”
To walk away now because he has not married you seems illogical. You should have put your foot down years ago to make it clear that being married to him was a requirement in order for him to get the rest of the package. You cannot blame him because you did not enforce the requirements that live in your heart.
Tell him that you love your life, but there is a big part missing for you -- the formal step of legally getting married. Ask him to marry you. Tell him that you have wanted to be married to him for all these years, and you don’t want to wait any longer. See if that gets him to budge. If not, you may be disappointed, but ask yourself, is walking away really what you want?