DEAR HARRIETTE: While doing some spring cleaning, I have come across quite a few nice clothing items that I forgot I had. I haven’t worn them in years, but they have sentimental value. One dress was given to me by my mother, who is now deceased. Another top was a gift from my great-aunt, who is also gone. There’s a purse that my mother used to carry to church every Sunday. The trip down memory lane has been wonderful, but now I have a sizable pile of items that are just staring at me. I’m finding it hard to give away these items, even though I will never wear them again. How can I let go and still hold onto the wonderful memories that they bring? -- Shedding the Past

DEAR SHEDDING THE PAST: Start by taking photos of the items, and write down your thoughts to acknowledge the importance of the person who gave you each item. Take a page out of Marie Kondo’s book and thank the item for serving you in the past. In this way, you make space to release it.

Consider if there is anyone in particular to whom you might want to give these special items. If so, you can present the items as gifts with a story about how they came to you. If not, find a good-quality thrift store or resale shop that may want to take them. By treating the items with respect and recalling the good memories that you shared with your mother and your great-aunt, you can create space to share them with others who may be able to use them. This is far better than simply having them stored in your closet for years on end.

For more tips on gracefully getting rid of things in your home, read Kondo’s book: "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up."

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently had a birthday party, and one of my friends gave me a gift that I don’t really like. Normally I would just return it or give it away, but she owns the store it is from. Do you think it would be OK for me to thank her for the gift and ask if I could exchange it for something that better matches me? -- Return Gift

DEAR RETURN GIFT: Because your friend owns the store your present is from, it makes sense that she would welcome an exchange of the gift for something else. Be gracious when you let her know what you would like to do. Also, do know that whatever you pick in exchange could cost more than the original item. If that is the case, you will have to pay the difference. On the other hand, if what you select costs less, do not expect to pocket the difference. It was a gift.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband likes to smoke weed. Now that our children are older -- in high school -- I worry that they are going to think it’s OK for them to smoke because they know their father does. No matter what I say to my husband, he won’t quit.

Weed is still illegal in our state. The last thing I need is for either of our kids to get arrested for smoking or possession. Plus, I don’t think it is wise for them to use it. They have developing brains, and they are smart. I want them to stay focused on school, not get sidetracked because they are too busy getting high. -- Stop Smoking

STOP SMOKING: Teenagers try things. And many of them these days try weed. Whether or not your husband smokes it, there’s a reasonable chance that your teens will try it at least once during this period in their life. Does that make it OK? Absolutely not.

Talk to your kids about why you discourage them from smoking. Give them your reasons clearly and without emotion. Give examples of real-life situations, if you know them, where smoking weed negatively impacted a teen.

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse for Teens, there are many effects of smoking marijuana that teens should be aware of. Short-term effects include: altered senses (such as seeing brighter colors), altered sense of time, changes in mood, slow reaction time, problems with balance and coordination, increased appetite, trouble thinking and solving problems, memory problems, hallucinations (seeing things that aren’t really there), delusions (believing something that is not true) and psychosis (having false thoughts). Long-term effects include lung problems (including lung cancer) and even compromised childbirth. Explain all of this to your teenagers.

If they say, “But Dad smokes,” you can counter that you may not be able to control his behavior, but you definitely want to influence theirs so that they can make smarter choices. For more information and support, visit: teens.drugabuse.gov/drug-facts/marijuana.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have one friend who is really rich. She inherited money from both of her parents and never has to work again. She does a lot of philanthropic work, which is great. She isn’t a spendthrift, but she can afford a lifestyle that I can’t even imagine. We have gone out for dinner or drinks a few times and split the tab, and I could hardly pay my part. I don’t know why she wouldn’t just foot the bill. She knows my situation. I am not asking for handouts. It’s just if I were in her position, I would be more generous, especially when she knows that I am struggling financially right now. -- Rich Friend, Poor Friend

DEAR RICH FRIEND, POOR FRIEND: Don't count what’s in somebody else’s wallet. Rather than pondering why your friend isn’t more generous, be clear about what you can and cannot afford. If she wants to go out somewhere you know you can’t afford, speak up in advance. Suggest that you go to a different place that is within your budget. Plan a get-together at home, where you can prepare food and drinks affordably. Or plan an outing that doesn’t cost anything at all.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Spring is in the air, and like clockwork, my allergies are kicking in. I have asthma plus allergies, so I get all messed up until summer starts. I have medication and follow my doctor’s directions in terms of treatment.

My issue these days is my friends. Because I sneeze a lot and it can seem like I’m sick, they don’t want to hang out with me when I’m dealing with my allergies. I’m not sick, and I keep telling them that, but they get annoyed when I’m suffering with the symptoms around them. I think this is messed up, but I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t want to stay home for two months. How can I get my friends to lighten up? -- Allergic

DEAR ALLERGIC: Start with a trip to your doctor. Find out if there is more potent medication that you can take that may help to diminish your allergy symptoms. If you are constantly sneezing and coughing, that has to be uncomfortable for you -- never mind your friends. There are so many medications available today that chances are, you can get on a regimen that will better manage your health during this season.

As far as your friends go, do your best not to sneeze or cough when you are close to them. Maintain a bit of distance when you are especially vulnerable. While your friends may seem harsh, it is understandable that they are uncomfortable having your mucus flying all around them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to have long hair, and I decided to cut it really short. I was ready for a change in my life, so I went for it. I found a hairstylist who gave me a great cut, which is still professional but very different than it was.

When I went to work, I got so many comments. Some were complimentary, which I appreciated. But others were awful, including men saying that I made a huge mistake and will never find a man with such short hair. I was shocked. That was so inappropriate. When other people have cut or colored their hair, I haven’t noticed so much drama around it. Should I say something or just ignore the negative commentary? -- Bad Reaction

DEAR BAD REACTION: Your best bet is to ignore the offenders. Clearly, you work in an environment where the men, at least those who made those comments, are sexist. It is wrong for them to judge you in such a way and to taunt you with their comments, but there is little to gain by striking back at them. If they don’t let it go and continue to the point where you can’t easily avoid their nasty words, you can tell them that they are being sexist. Warn them that if they don’t stop, you will report them to management.

In general, it’s best to focus on the positive. The people who complimented you noticed your change and affirmed it. Remember that rather than the hecklers.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)