DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband likes to smoke weed. Now that our children are older -- in high school -- I worry that they are going to think it’s OK for them to smoke because they know their father does. No matter what I say to my husband, he won’t quit.

Weed is still illegal in our state. The last thing I need is for either of our kids to get arrested for smoking or possession. Plus, I don’t think it is wise for them to use it. They have developing brains, and they are smart. I want them to stay focused on school, not get sidetracked because they are too busy getting high. -- Stop Smoking

STOP SMOKING: Teenagers try things. And many of them these days try weed. Whether or not your husband smokes it, there’s a reasonable chance that your teens will try it at least once during this period in their life. Does that make it OK? Absolutely not.

Talk to your kids about why you discourage them from smoking. Give them your reasons clearly and without emotion. Give examples of real-life situations, if you know them, where smoking weed negatively impacted a teen.

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse for Teens, there are many effects of smoking marijuana that teens should be aware of. Short-term effects include: altered senses (such as seeing brighter colors), altered sense of time, changes in mood, slow reaction time, problems with balance and coordination, increased appetite, trouble thinking and solving problems, memory problems, hallucinations (seeing things that aren’t really there), delusions (believing something that is not true) and psychosis (having false thoughts). Long-term effects include lung problems (including lung cancer) and even compromised childbirth. Explain all of this to your teenagers.

If they say, “But Dad smokes,” you can counter that you may not be able to control his behavior, but you definitely want to influence theirs so that they can make smarter choices. For more information and support, visit: teens.drugabuse.gov/drug-facts/marijuana.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have one friend who is really rich. She inherited money from both of her parents and never has to work again. She does a lot of philanthropic work, which is great. She isn’t a spendthrift, but she can afford a lifestyle that I can’t even imagine. We have gone out for dinner or drinks a few times and split the tab, and I could hardly pay my part. I don’t know why she wouldn’t just foot the bill. She knows my situation. I am not asking for handouts. It’s just if I were in her position, I would be more generous, especially when she knows that I am struggling financially right now. -- Rich Friend, Poor Friend

DEAR RICH FRIEND, POOR FRIEND: Don't count what’s in somebody else’s wallet. Rather than pondering why your friend isn’t more generous, be clear about what you can and cannot afford. If she wants to go out somewhere you know you can’t afford, speak up in advance. Suggest that you go to a different place that is within your budget. Plan a get-together at home, where you can prepare food and drinks affordably. Or plan an outing that doesn’t cost anything at all.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Spring is in the air, and like clockwork, my allergies are kicking in. I have asthma plus allergies, so I get all messed up until summer starts. I have medication and follow my doctor’s directions in terms of treatment.

My issue these days is my friends. Because I sneeze a lot and it can seem like I’m sick, they don’t want to hang out with me when I’m dealing with my allergies. I’m not sick, and I keep telling them that, but they get annoyed when I’m suffering with the symptoms around them. I think this is messed up, but I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t want to stay home for two months. How can I get my friends to lighten up? -- Allergic

DEAR ALLERGIC: Start with a trip to your doctor. Find out if there is more potent medication that you can take that may help to diminish your allergy symptoms. If you are constantly sneezing and coughing, that has to be uncomfortable for you -- never mind your friends. There are so many medications available today that chances are, you can get on a regimen that will better manage your health during this season.

As far as your friends go, do your best not to sneeze or cough when you are close to them. Maintain a bit of distance when you are especially vulnerable. While your friends may seem harsh, it is understandable that they are uncomfortable having your mucus flying all around them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to have long hair, and I decided to cut it really short. I was ready for a change in my life, so I went for it. I found a hairstylist who gave me a great cut, which is still professional but very different than it was.

When I went to work, I got so many comments. Some were complimentary, which I appreciated. But others were awful, including men saying that I made a huge mistake and will never find a man with such short hair. I was shocked. That was so inappropriate. When other people have cut or colored their hair, I haven’t noticed so much drama around it. Should I say something or just ignore the negative commentary? -- Bad Reaction

DEAR BAD REACTION: Your best bet is to ignore the offenders. Clearly, you work in an environment where the men, at least those who made those comments, are sexist. It is wrong for them to judge you in such a way and to taunt you with their comments, but there is little to gain by striking back at them. If they don’t let it go and continue to the point where you can’t easily avoid their nasty words, you can tell them that they are being sexist. Warn them that if they don’t stop, you will report them to management.

In general, it’s best to focus on the positive. The people who complimented you noticed your change and affirmed it. Remember that rather than the hecklers.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am nervous about the idea of going to therapy. I was invited to go in order to build a stronger relationship with a family member, but I cannot imagine how talking to a stranger will help.

Whenever my relative and I are around each other for more than a couple of hours, we get into it, and it gets ugly. We seem to pick at each other relentlessly. The rest of the family staged an intervention and told us we have to get it together. They want us to go to therapy. Considering that therapy is an actual profession where people get paid, I question whether the sessions would be personal or just a person doing their job? -- Does Therapy Work?

DEAR DOES THERAPY WORK?: Many people are nervous about therapy before they try it, which is understandable. It requires you to open up about your feelings and experiences. Usually people go to therapy when they have reached a crossroads in their lives and need outside help. Given that your family intervened to get you to deal with your issues, it sounds like you are at that place.

The good news is that a professional therapist is trained to listen and support people as they address their personal issues. Because the therapist doesn’t know you and has been professionally educated on how to address a broad variety of challenges that people face, he or she will likely be able to help you and your family member talk objectively about whatever is going on. Objectivity is key in sorting through emotionally charged issues.

I recommend that you go to the therapy sessions with the belief that you will gain tools for how to build a more loving, respectful bond with your family.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I sometimes find myself struggling with time management. I know the feeling of being ahead of the game and prepared, and it is great. However, I always find myself procrastinating. Sometimes it is because I can lose all internal motivation. I do want to make a change in the long run. I need advice on how I should better myself. -- Stuck

DEAR STUCK: I am a big believer in lists. I make a to-do list every single day, including weekends, that outlines what I have to accomplish. I include personal care, work projects, family -- everything that is important to me that needs to be addressed. Then I check off each item as I accomplish it. This provides motivation to move on to the next item on the list.

It is important to break down your tasks into manageable bits. If you put a whole project as one item, it will be harder to see small victories. Break down a big job into smaller parts. In this way, you can monitor your progress. This should help you to conquer procrastination. What’s key is that you actually make the list EVERY DAY, and that you check it off. Don’t avoid the tool that can help you. Make your list right now!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)