DEAR HARRIETTE: We just lost a huge leader and influencer in the black community. He went by the stage name Nipsey Hussle, and he was only 33 years old. His death has devastated many, including myself, even though I did not personally know him.

Hussle was working on a documentary about the late holistic practitioner Dr. Sebi, which would expose a lot of truths about the medical and pharmaceutical industries. He advocated for his people and worked on providing a positive environment for the kids of Los Angeles. This is a pattern I have noticed with black leaders: They take initiative but are brought down too soon.

I know being upset won't do anything about it unless I back it up with action. What can I do as an individual to step up for the black community and continue the initiatives of our great fallen leaders? -- Carrying the Torch

DEAR CARRYING THE TORCH: First, I must say that it is tragic that Nipsey Hussle was murdered. He was one of the good ones -- a change agent who was devoted to his community and to holistic healing. One ray of light is that the entertainer Nick Cannon is reportedly going to ensure that the documentary about Dr. Sebi will be completed. Sebi is another one gone too soon. Though not an actual doctor, he devoted his life to discovering ways to heal the body and, in turn, the community, and he died under suspicious circumstances after stating that he had found a cure for HIV and AIDS.

What you and others can do in the face of this tragedy is to live an authentic life and devote some time to a cause that will support humanity. Be a better person. Donate your time and energy to making the world a better place. Keep Nipsey Hussle’s memory alive by talking about his good work. If a charity is established in his name, donate to that entity.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend is in law school at the moment, but she is starting to doubt herself and let the stress get to her. Since I do not know the ins and outs of the coursework and requirements she has, she feels that I cannot relate to her or help her. I care about her and try to encourage her that she will graduate and be a great lawyer. Do you have any words of wisdom to share with her as a successful woman in this world who has had to work hard? -- Encouraging My Friend

DEAR ENCOURAGING MY FRIEND: Nothing worth achieving comes easy. That’s just true. No matter who you are, there will be hard times -- some of which may seem insurmountable. A sign of character is how you navigate the challenges.

Though you are not a lawyer, you can be of support to your friend if she will let you. Sometimes the best comfort comes from people who have no clue about the nuances of your worries. They just love you unconditionally and provide that shoulder to cry on when you need it. Offer to be that shoulder -- no questions asked -- when she needs it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who I am sort of interested in, but I'm not at all ready to be in a serious romantic relationship with. He is very interested in being with me. Nearly every day he talks about wanting to take the relationship further. I do not really see him as husband material right now, but he does have great qualities. I want to take my time to get to know him better before making any kind of commitment. He keeps pressing. Should I continue to see if we mesh well, or is it a complete waste of time? -- Is He the One?

DEAR IS HE THE ONE: Don’t give in to the pressure from this man. If you like him enough to continue spending time with him to see what may come of your relationship, tell him as much. Be sure to state your boundaries. Let him know that you are not ready to be romantically involved. Be specific as to what that means.

Being affectionate is a natural next step in a relationship after spending time together and growing closer. Sexual intimacy is a completely different level of connection. If this is what you are not ready to engage in, tell him directly. For some men, that is a deal breaker; for others, they are willing to wait. You should find out where this man stands and be clear about your position. If he is unwilling to wait, you may have your answer right there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am concerned with my mother's health. She works for a transit company and is underground most of the time, exposed to chemicals and germs. It takes a toll on her body, and she has developed asthma from this career. I tell her all the time that she should consider doing event planning because she is great at it. She feels that she is too old to start a new career, especially one that would be her own. I am really afraid that if she keeps this job, her health will continue to plummet. What can I do to help her? -- Mom's Health

DEAR MOM’S HEALTH: Your mother is a grown woman and is not likely to change her career at this stage in her life. That said, you don’t have to give up suggesting alternatives. Do some research into event planning companies in your area. Look for larger firms that might have the capacity to hire staff. Call around to see if there are any openings. If your mother could find a job where she wouldn’t have to build a business from the ground up, she might consider getting involved in the field.

Regarding her health, ask her to check with her doctor to see what preventive care she can engage in to support her lungs and her overall health. Even though she works in a toxic environment, there may be some measures she can take to help her a bit.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am having a hard time reconciling the fact that I used to be thin and physically attractive as a younger woman with how I look now. Today, in my 50s, I am much bigger. Yes, I dress well, but I’m definitely not thin anymore. My doctor recently told me that I am obese! I do work out and am trying to get myself in a better position, but I can’t seem to stop talking about the way it was. My daughter tells me that I am always saying that I used to look just like she looks now. She tells me I say it too much. I don’t mean to live in the past, but I guess I miss it now that it is gone. How can I accept who I am today, appreciate my past and work to get healthy? -- Waxing Nostalgic

DEAR WAXING NOSTALGIC: Come up with a nutrition and fitness goal -- with your doctor -- that is realistic and healthy. If you have been diagnosed as obese, you have work to do in order to be healthy for your daughter. Make that a priority. You do not need to have the goal of being the size you were many years ago. Instead, create a goal that is reachable. Get a referral to a nutritionist if you want another layer of help. Set time targets for your progress that will help you to stay on course. Rather than living in the past, celebrate your daughter for where she is, and honor yourself for where you are and where you are headed.

Also, teach your daughter what she can do to stay healthy. The fact that she looks like you did years ago does not mean that in years to come she has to look like you do now. If you are at an unhealthy weight, make it clear to your daughter through your words and deeds that you intend to correct that. If she stays the course from now on, she may avoid obesity altogether.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got tagged on social media by a friend from college; I was surprised to see a photo from one of those throwback Thursday posts of a group of us from our college days, more than 20 years ago. One photo featured me and my ex-husband. He and I divorced on horrible terms. Even though it has been a long time, I can’t imagine that he would appreciate this posting. Should I say something to the woman who posted it? I think she should take down the photo. -- Social Media Privacy

DEAR SOCIAL MEDIA PRIVACY: By all means, contact your college friend and ask her to remove the post in question. Don’t take it any further. You do not need to contact your ex to let him know it happened or that it is resolved. Resist the temptation to draw any more attention to him. Let your complete separation be enough for you to know that he does not need or expect you to reach out to him. By getting the post removed immediately, you reduce the amount of vulnerability that this has created.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)