DEAR HARRIETTE: I cook dinner almost every night, except for when I am traveling or when we order in, which is rare. This week, I was working late and let my family know. Turns out I didn’t get home until after 9 p.m., and my husband made dinner for himself and my daughter, but didn’t think to prepare anything for me. He knew I would be working late. When I called and asked him to make me a plate as I was heading home, he said that he had served them leftovers and there was nothing left for me. He suggested I could warm up a cooked chicken and fix myself some vegetables. He did not offer to do anything for me and copped an attitude when I reminded him that I cook for him every night.

Why didn’t my husband even consider that I might be hungry? He blew me off like I was wrong to ask. I ask him every night that he’s running late if he wants dinner, so my feelings are hurt. Is there anything else I can say or do to get him to be more thoughtful? -- No Food for Me

DEAR NO FOOD FOR ME: My mother would say, “You have to train him,” meaning you have to make it clear to your partner what you want or expect to avoid hurt feelings -- to the best of your ability. Since you are the one who almost always cooks dinner, your husband probably didn’t think that you would need to eat. Is this an excuse? No, but it does give a window into his thinking. Chances are, if you didn’t have a child, he might not have eaten himself.

Next time, try to tell him in the morning if you think you will be late, and ask him to prepare something for you and your child to eat. You can even remind him during the day. If he still flakes, it is time for a more serious conversation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a client who keeps canceling on me at the last minute. We have worked together for years, so I always try to give her preferential treatment and accommodate her when she books me. But recently I have lost a couple of freelance gigs because I was holding time for her and she didn’t let me know that she would not need me. She owns a small company, and she won’t pay me if she forgets to cancel, even if I have reached out to her to ask her if she wanted to release the time. What should I do? I don’t want to walk away from this client, but I can’t afford to lose work out of allegiance to a company that doesn’t have allegiance to me. -- Standing My Ground

DEAR STANDING MY GROUND: In the future, do not give up other work if this client -- or any other client -- is vacillating. Check in with the client that first reserved the time. If you do not get a response in a timely manner, accept the other job and let the initial client understand that you are no longer available at that particular time. Business is business. Keep it that clean.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who constantly refers people to me for advice. He calls and expects me to drop everything and support these people. I do my best to be of help; usually they are good people. But my friend does not return the favor. When I contact him -- even if it’s just to catch up -- I usually get his voicemail, and often it takes him days or weeks to respond. How can I get him to be more immediately responsive? He expects that of me, but doesn’t offer it in return. -- Not a Priority

DEAR NOT A PRIORITY: Stop replying immediately when this friend calls you for help. The way that you may get him to notice his own behavior is if you start acting like him. Don’t be so quick to pick up the phone and do whatever he asks. Live your life, and focus on what you need to be doing for yourself, your family and your loved ones who are more attentive.

When your friend inquires as to where you have been and what you are doing, tell him that you have been busy. If you are up for it, reveal your disappointment at his behavior. Remind him that you consistently respond to him in a timely manner when he contacts you, but that he responds intermittently at best. State that it hurts your feelings when he neglects you while at the same time he expects you to keep him top of mind and respond immediately.

Next, put your money where your mouth is. Allow yourself to put him on a lower priority rung in your life so that you don’t react so swiftly to him. You have to decide that you can and will do this. Otherwise, you will end up disappointed.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has been getting all A’s in school, and we are proud of him. Last week, he texted me to say that he had failed a quiz. We were all shocked, including him. When we talked about it, we realized that he had been busy the weekend before and hadn’t applied himself the way he should have. I’m sure he didn’t imagine that he would fail his quiz, but it was a wake-up call. What can I do to reinforce that he has to manage school and fun better? I want him to have a well-balanced life, but failure is not an option. -- Striking a Balance

DEAR STRIKING A BALANCE: As hard as it seems today, this failing grade may be the best wake-up call for your son. First, he sees for sure that he isn’t automatically a straight-A student. He has to work hard to keep up his grades. Second, since he can see the direct result of too much play, he now knows that he cannot do that again without risking failing again. Your job is to help him make smarter decisions. Allow him to have fun with his friends after he has completed his studies, whatever they are.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman who used to be a close friend just informed me that she is writing a tell-all memoir about her life, and she plans to include me in it. There is no scandalous story about the two of us that I know of, but she and I were close for a long time, and she knows a lot of my backstory. Like most people, there are plenty of things that I would rather not see the light of day, certainly not in somebody’s book.

I want to put a stop to this before she gets going. This woman can be evil, and she has turned on most of her friends over the years. As soon as she does that, she talks about them like they were dogs, even if seemingly moments before they were tight. I have heard from two other former friends that she has threatened to expose their secrets as well. In some instances, what she is threatening is false, but often some part of it is true. Is there anything we can do to stop her? -- Exposed

DEAR EXPOSED: According to Cornell University, “Libel is a method of defamation expressed by print, writing, pictures, signs, effigies, or any communication embodied in physical form that is injurious to a person's reputation, exposes a person to public hatred, contempt or ridicule, or injures a person in his/her business or profession." From this perspective, you would think you have the right to sue this woman for potentially damaging your reputation, if she proceeds to publish negative things about you. The caveat is that to file suit against someone for libel, you do need to be able to prove that what the person is saying or publishing is false. If the statements that this woman makes about you or others are accurate, you do not have a case -- even if what she is saying is horrible.

Still, you may want to team up with the other people and talk to an attorney. Perhaps someone representing the lot of you can go to this woman and appeal to her, making it clear that you will sue if she proceeds. You can sue whether you will likely win or lose.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently lost a lot of weight and was thinking that I should give away some of my clothes that are too big. I’m worried, though, because my weight tends to fluctuate. I have been working hard to lose, but what if I gain back those 20-odd pounds? I don’t want to have to buy more clothes later. My house is getting crowded by different sizes of clothing at this point. Should I chuck them and do my best to keep my weight down? I don’t know what to do. -- Not My Size

DEAR NOT MY SIZE: If you are serious about weight loss and want to raise the stakes, get rid of most, if not all, of your old clothes. Then, if you feel yourself gaining back some of the weight, immediately refresh your fitness and eating plan so that you stay the course. Make it difficult for yourself to have anything to wear if you get larger by giving away almost everything. This will help to clear out your closets and eliminate the fallback that you have relied on over the years. You can do it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)