DEAR HARRIETTE: I hosted a last-minute gathering of friends and family, and it was so much fun. I posted a bunch of photos on social media, as I normally post photos of what’s going on in my world. It didn’t occur to me at the time -- because I had kind of spontaneously planned my party -- that I didn’t invite every one of my friends. I definitely forgot a few people. Now they have seen that I had a party without them. I already wrote to one friend apologizing for not including her and saying how last-minute it was. Should I reach out to the other friends, or just let it be? -- Outed By Social Media
DEAR OUTED BY SOCIAL MEDIA: I would contact people only if you feel that they will be upset that they were excluded. For the most part, people understand that events happen all the time, and they are not invited to every one of them. This is true even for people you are close to. Drawing attention to a past event may exacerbate the reality that they didn’t make the list this time.
As you see, the challenge of social media is that it puts your private life in a public space, which can be uncomfortable. You may want to rethink what all you post in the future with this situation as a barometer. But do know that it is perfectly fine for you to host events and not invite every single person you care about. You can be selective, and it will be fine. If the omission of a particular person comes up, you can simply say that you are sorry that they weren’t there for that particular occasion, and you hope they will be present in the future.