DEAR HARRIETTE: I hosted a last-minute gathering of friends and family, and it was so much fun. I posted a bunch of photos on social media, as I normally post photos of what’s going on in my world. It didn’t occur to me at the time -- because I had kind of spontaneously planned my party -- that I didn’t invite every one of my friends. I definitely forgot a few people. Now they have seen that I had a party without them. I already wrote to one friend apologizing for not including her and saying how last-minute it was. Should I reach out to the other friends, or just let it be? -- Outed By Social Media

DEAR OUTED BY SOCIAL MEDIA: I would contact people only if you feel that they will be upset that they were excluded. For the most part, people understand that events happen all the time, and they are not invited to every one of them. This is true even for people you are close to. Drawing attention to a past event may exacerbate the reality that they didn’t make the list this time.

As you see, the challenge of social media is that it puts your private life in a public space, which can be uncomfortable. You may want to rethink what all you post in the future with this situation as a barometer. But do know that it is perfectly fine for you to host events and not invite every single person you care about. You can be selective, and it will be fine. If the omission of a particular person comes up, you can simply say that you are sorry that they weren’t there for that particular occasion, and you hope they will be present in the future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is growing, and she just put all of her too-tight shoes in a bag to give away. Some of them have hardly been worn. I know she didn’t mean to ignore them, but she doesn’t wear dress shoes often and she has been in a growth spurt for almost the whole year. I don’t want to dump the shoes, but my friends can be snobby about accepting used shoes for their kids. What can I do with them other than taking them to Goodwill? -- Old Shoes

DEAR OLD SHOES: There are plenty of people who will appreciate the slightly worn shoes that you have. If you simply want to give them away, consider taking them to a local house of worship. Many churches give away clothing and shoes to those in need. Goodwill and the Salvation Army do accept items and will give you a tax deduction voucher for them, which helps at tax time.

You can also sell them online. Consider eBay or Poshmark, among many other online resellers. It takes effort on your part to set yourself up as a vendor, but it could be worth it, especially as your daughter continues to grow.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A guy I grew up with just had a massive heart attack. He lived to talk about it, but it is scary. We are all in our late 50s, and while we have some aches and pains, I think most of us consider ourselves pretty healthy. I know I don’t necessarily take the precautions that I have been given over the years too seriously, and this was a big wakeup call. My friend almost died. Apparently, the only reason he lived is that he could tell something awful was happening and he asked his wife to call an ambulance immediately. He ended up having surgery to correct blockages in his arteries. What can my friends and I do to avoid this kind of crisis? -- Afraid to Die

DEAR AFRAID TO DIE: The sad truth is that many of us think we will live forever and often don’t take into account how the choices of what we ingest and how we move our bodies will affect our health and longevity. By the time you reach your 50s, your patterns are pretty well-ingrained. But doctors do say that it’s never too late to make smarter choices.

What everyone should do is get a complete physical to check the status of your body and its functioning. If you have established a baseline with your doctor, you should compare where you are now and where you have been so that your doctor can help you determine what you need to do to make healthier choices. You absolutely have to be honest with your doctor. Admit what you eat and drink and how much you exercise. If you use illegal drugs, say so. If you abuse prescription drugs, tell your doctor. Without a clear and complete picture of your behavior, your doctor will not be able to give you an effective road map toward optimal health. For more ideas, go to: cle.clinic/2TKtshh.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a die-hard coffee drinker. When I was young, I drank like five or six cups a day. I had to cut back a few years ago because I noticed that my heart raced if I drank too much coffee. Now I feel like my tolerance is even lower. I love to drink it, but it doesn’t love me back. My doctor told me to cut back because he says it’s not good for my blood pressure. I can’t seem to stop, though. I feel like an idiot for being so attached to coffee, but I really enjoy it. Do you have any ideas on how to let go? -- Ending the Coffee Affair

DEAR ENDING THE COFFEE AFFAIR: According to the American Heart Association, many studies have been conducted to determine if coffee causes disease in the body. So far, the findings have been inclusive.

Neither the AHA or the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommend drinking high amounts of coffee, though, because it can have negative side effects. Among the side effects are rapid heart rate, high blood pressure and anxiety. Like most things, enjoying coffee in moderation is ideal. You can also go to decaffeinated coffee if your system is now too sensitive for caffeine. For more details on the side effects of too much coffee, go to: healthline.com/nutrition/caffeine-side-effects.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am struggling with how to handle a conflict with a former colleague who basically has rewritten history.

I hired a woman years ago to work with me on a project. The way she describes her work at the time doesn’t include me at all. It’s amazing to see how she talks about what turned out to be a pivotal period for her, and it is as if I wasn’t even there. Yet she literally worked under my direction.

This might not bother me as much, but she has been featured in the national media recently, and she highlights this period in her work history and talks about it as if she were the leader of the team. She doesn’t mention me at all. I’m dumbfounded by it. I don’t go around tooting my own horn, but this is ridiculous. In fact, a lot of people have brought this oversight to my attention because it is obviously untrue if you know anything about the company and the period of time she is describing. Part of me wants to write to the media outlets and clarify the truth with them. Or should I just confront her about her lies of omission? -- Revisionist History

DEAR REVISIONIST HISTORY: I would start with the direct approach. Reach out to your former colleague and ask if you can get together to talk. Congratulate her on the positive media she has been getting, and then ask her why she has chosen to tell an incomplete story. Point out what you believe the truth to be about the period in question. Say how disappointed you were to discover that when she tells her story, she puts herself in a role that she didn’t have while eliminating you from yours entirely. Tell her that many people have reached to you, upset over what she has said. Point out that it was recommended that you clarify it by going directly to the media sources that reported it wrong, but you decided to come to her first.

Listen to what she has to say. If you do not believe she is going to correct her mistakes, you may want to go to the media outlets, but only if you feel it is necessary for your own career. Engaging the media could turn it into a bigger mess.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like peer pressure is taking away my teenage son’s brain. It was freezing this week, and my son tried to go to school wearing shorts. Shorts! I mean, it snowed a week ago. I know that kids these days don’t like to wear coats and other basic winter attire, but shorts? That's taking it too far.

This has become a battle with my son. How can I get him to understand that dressing to match the weather is a sign of intelligence? -- Poor Wardrobe Choices

DEAR POOR WARDROBE CHOICES: Stop fighting with your son and put your foot down, as my mother used to say. Tell him that he has to wear long pants until the weather gets warm. Period.

If your son continues to defy you, take away a key privilege, like the use of his cellphone. For many people, especially teens, the cellphone is their lifeline. You have to pick something that will make your son pay attention to you and realize that you are serious -- then you have to follow through.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)