DEAR HARRIETTE: I belong to a social club that has high dues but offers a lot of activities for my family. I have been willing to spend the money because it has been good for the kids, but this year has been tough for me. It seems like the costs have gone up just as my resources have diminished.

I contacted the financial secretary to see if I could get a break just this year because of my financial situation. I was embarrassed to ask, but I didn’t know what else to do. I was granted a payment plan -- not a discount. I appreciate that, but now I wonder if I should stay in the organization. -- Too High a Price

DEAR TOO HIGH A PRICE: You need to weigh the pros and cons. Write down what the benefits of belonging to this organization have been. Look across several years to see how engaged your children have been and how consistent their involvement has been. This is important so that you can see how your money is being utilized. Then consider the other things you do with your children or that you pay for them to do. What do all of these things add up to, and which are most valuable?

Finally, look at your current budget. What can you afford? If you simply can’t swing it, you will need to either resign from the group or ask for a sabbatical for a year. Sometimes organizations will allow you to pause your involvement for extenuating circumstances.

Don’t forget that you can get creative and design activities for and with your kids independent of an organization. And if your children have forged bonds with some of the children in the club, you may be able to include them in your activities anyway. You don’t have to have the formal connection to keep the children together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was working on a project with a long-term client when my main contact left to go to another company. I continued and completed the project, but when I turned in my invoice, there was a disagreement over what I was hired to do. Now my check is being held up because not everything was written down. I know that’s my fault. But I had worked with these people for years, and there had never been an issue. How can I get it resolved without damaging my relationship with the new leadership? -- Rocky Transition

DEAR ROCKY TRANSITION: If your former contact maintained a positive relationship with this company, perhaps they can help you out. Contact your person and explain the situation. Ask if they would be willing to step in and share the details of the handshake negotiation that they made with you on behalf of the company. That may help to clarify things.

You may want to consider making a compromise. If you value this client and want to continue to work with the company, you may need to accept the terms that they have offered and pledge to yourself to get a contract in the future.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been paying the minimums on a pile of credit cards for years. I don’t seem to be getting anywhere. I barely keep my creditors at bay. I have never had a high-paying job, and I have needed credit in order to make ends meet. I will not be able to work forever. I am worried that I will be paying these bills for the rest of my life. Do you think it is wise to go to one of those credit consolidators for help? I don’t know what to do. -- Drowning in Debt

DEAR DROWNING IN DEBT: You are wise to be thinking about what you can do to consolidate your debt at this time. Do your research to figure out what is best for you. There are several things that consumers do when they get into financial trouble. My research shows three key options. 1) Debt settlement allows your debt to be negotiated to a lower interest rate or principal. 2) Debt relief is when you convince a debtor to forgive some or part of what you owe them. 3) Debt consolidation occurs when you take out a loan that pays for all of your debt and then you pay off that one bill.

You can call around to learn how each of these options works, but before you make a choice, get professional input. You can talk to a financial adviser at your bank -- for free. Figure out which option works best for you to help you become debt-free within a particular period of time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter has been having significant mood swings of late. One day she comes home with a pleasant attitude. The next day she is super snippy. We have always been close, but I worry that it is changing. I want to stay connected to her, but I can’t allow her to talk to me any way she pleases. To that end, she actually apologized to me yesterday and admitted that she had been in a terrible mood the day before. I thanked her for noticing and told her that it sometimes is hard for me when she is so snippy. Is there anything else I can do? -- Teenage Blues

DEAR TEENAGE BLUES: Medical experts say that mood swings are common among teenagers due to hormonal changes, lack of sleep, poor eating habits and social stressors. While you should not allow your teen to speak to you disrespectfully, experts suggest that it is smart for you to resist reacting immediately to mood swings. Instead, attempt to show compassion. Let your teen know that you understand that waves of emotion can sometimes make them behave in extreme ways. Continue to keep the lines of communication open so that you and your daughter talk as much as possible about everything. In this way, when touchy subjects come up, you have created space to discuss them comfortably.

One note for parents: If your teen’s moods seem too intense, look for warning signs of a bigger problem: prolonged irritability; extreme feelings of highs and lows; feelings of unworthiness; erratic behavior; failing grades; suspected substance abuse; refusal to participate in activities previously enjoyed; and talk of self-harm or suicide. For more support, go to aha-now.com/cope-with-teenage-mood-swings.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend recently had twins. They are African-American, and one is much darker than the other. They are both beautiful little girls, but already I hear people saying things about the darker one, like, “She’s cute for a dark girl.” I hate this. I’m not naive. I know that racism runs so deep that people don’t always realize what they are saying, but I worry about these girls and how they will be received as they grow up. What can I do to support them and their family? -- Color Consciousness

DEAR COLOR CONSCIOUSNESS: Sadly, colorism -- which is a form of racism -- runs deep in American society. Worse still is that it’s often reflected as self-hatred. Many black people make those statements about themselves. Historically, there were unwritten rules about color that people followed, like the “paper bag test,” which was used by elite black social clubs to prohibit people whose skin was darker than a paper bag from becoming members. Another “rule” was called “marrying up.” A few generations ago, the goal for blacks who wanted to climb the social ladder was to marry someone who was lighter-skinned or who was wealthy. Deep pockets would allow darker-skinned people a pass.

All of this emerged because of the oppressive nature of racism and the many opportunities that were denied black people. I have touched only the surface of an important history lesson, but I bring it up because this history informs the unconscious comments about those precious twins you mentioned.

While you cannot reverse history or wipe out racially charged behaviors today, you can be supportive of the twins by treating them equally. Your interactions with them should be uplifting and aware. Further, if you hear someone make a pejorative comment, call the person on it. You can ask that person, “What do you mean when you say she’s cute for a dark girl?” Push them. “Do you hear what you are saying?” If the parents are up for the discussion, ask them how you can be supportive. Share your concerns about the things you have heard people say, and get their perspective on how they intend to navigate this path.

Several books have been written about this subject. One you may want to read is "The Color Complex (Revised): The Politics of Skin Color in a New Millennium" by Kathy Russell-Cole.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of those people who pledged to work on fitness as the year began, and I have hardly done anything. I am not motivated at all. I was going to the gym with a buddy who lives in my building. We set ourselves up for success, but it’s March and I have gone to the gym only a handful of times. How can I get myself back into it? I can’t afford to slack off. My doctor gave me weight-loss goals that I am not meeting. -- Inertia Got Me

DEAR INERTIA GOT ME: Have a serious talk with yourself about your future. What did your doctor tell you would happen if you don’t meet your fitness goals? We live in a country where obesity is running rampant, and more people are officially obese than realize it. In 2016, about 39 percent of Americans were considered obese, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Obesity leads to all kinds of disease that can kill you. Let that reality sink in. It may get you off your couch.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)