DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been paying the minimums on a pile of credit cards for years. I don’t seem to be getting anywhere. I barely keep my creditors at bay. I have never had a high-paying job, and I have needed credit in order to make ends meet. I will not be able to work forever. I am worried that I will be paying these bills for the rest of my life. Do you think it is wise to go to one of those credit consolidators for help? I don’t know what to do. -- Drowning in Debt

DEAR DROWNING IN DEBT: You are wise to be thinking about what you can do to consolidate your debt at this time. Do your research to figure out what is best for you. There are several things that consumers do when they get into financial trouble. My research shows three key options. 1) Debt settlement allows your debt to be negotiated to a lower interest rate or principal. 2) Debt relief is when you convince a debtor to forgive some or part of what you owe them. 3) Debt consolidation occurs when you take out a loan that pays for all of your debt and then you pay off that one bill.

You can call around to learn how each of these options works, but before you make a choice, get professional input. You can talk to a financial adviser at your bank -- for free. Figure out which option works best for you to help you become debt-free within a particular period of time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter has been having significant mood swings of late. One day she comes home with a pleasant attitude. The next day she is super snippy. We have always been close, but I worry that it is changing. I want to stay connected to her, but I can’t allow her to talk to me any way she pleases. To that end, she actually apologized to me yesterday and admitted that she had been in a terrible mood the day before. I thanked her for noticing and told her that it sometimes is hard for me when she is so snippy. Is there anything else I can do? -- Teenage Blues

DEAR TEENAGE BLUES: Medical experts say that mood swings are common among teenagers due to hormonal changes, lack of sleep, poor eating habits and social stressors. While you should not allow your teen to speak to you disrespectfully, experts suggest that it is smart for you to resist reacting immediately to mood swings. Instead, attempt to show compassion. Let your teen know that you understand that waves of emotion can sometimes make them behave in extreme ways. Continue to keep the lines of communication open so that you and your daughter talk as much as possible about everything. In this way, when touchy subjects come up, you have created space to discuss them comfortably.

One note for parents: If your teen’s moods seem too intense, look for warning signs of a bigger problem: prolonged irritability; extreme feelings of highs and lows; feelings of unworthiness; erratic behavior; failing grades; suspected substance abuse; refusal to participate in activities previously enjoyed; and talk of self-harm or suicide. For more support, go to aha-now.com/cope-with-teenage-mood-swings.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend recently had twins. They are African-American, and one is much darker than the other. They are both beautiful little girls, but already I hear people saying things about the darker one, like, “She’s cute for a dark girl.” I hate this. I’m not naive. I know that racism runs so deep that people don’t always realize what they are saying, but I worry about these girls and how they will be received as they grow up. What can I do to support them and their family? -- Color Consciousness

DEAR COLOR CONSCIOUSNESS: Sadly, colorism -- which is a form of racism -- runs deep in American society. Worse still is that it’s often reflected as self-hatred. Many black people make those statements about themselves. Historically, there were unwritten rules about color that people followed, like the “paper bag test,” which was used by elite black social clubs to prohibit people whose skin was darker than a paper bag from becoming members. Another “rule” was called “marrying up.” A few generations ago, the goal for blacks who wanted to climb the social ladder was to marry someone who was lighter-skinned or who was wealthy. Deep pockets would allow darker-skinned people a pass.

All of this emerged because of the oppressive nature of racism and the many opportunities that were denied black people. I have touched only the surface of an important history lesson, but I bring it up because this history informs the unconscious comments about those precious twins you mentioned.

While you cannot reverse history or wipe out racially charged behaviors today, you can be supportive of the twins by treating them equally. Your interactions with them should be uplifting and aware. Further, if you hear someone make a pejorative comment, call the person on it. You can ask that person, “What do you mean when you say she’s cute for a dark girl?” Push them. “Do you hear what you are saying?” If the parents are up for the discussion, ask them how you can be supportive. Share your concerns about the things you have heard people say, and get their perspective on how they intend to navigate this path.

Several books have been written about this subject. One you may want to read is "The Color Complex (Revised): The Politics of Skin Color in a New Millennium" by Kathy Russell-Cole.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of those people who pledged to work on fitness as the year began, and I have hardly done anything. I am not motivated at all. I was going to the gym with a buddy who lives in my building. We set ourselves up for success, but it’s March and I have gone to the gym only a handful of times. How can I get myself back into it? I can’t afford to slack off. My doctor gave me weight-loss goals that I am not meeting. -- Inertia Got Me

DEAR INERTIA GOT ME: Have a serious talk with yourself about your future. What did your doctor tell you would happen if you don’t meet your fitness goals? We live in a country where obesity is running rampant, and more people are officially obese than realize it. In 2016, about 39 percent of Americans were considered obese, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Obesity leads to all kinds of disease that can kill you. Let that reality sink in. It may get you off your couch.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother told me that we should always share with those who have less than we do. To that end, I give to my church, and I occasionally give to people who beg on the street.

The other day, I was walking on a street near my home when two different men seemingly came out of nowhere begging for money. One of them was loud and insistent. I had just completed a meeting with a client, and I had no money in my pocket to spare. Well, the loud man got louder and started yelling at me for not giving him money. I thought this was excessive. He may have been mentally impaired. What should I have done in that situation? I just kept on walking. -- Paying the Homeless

DEAR PAYING THE HOMELESS: You are not obliged to give money to people who ask you for it. Sadly, there seem to be more homeless people on the street these days, and yes, many of them are mentally and emotionally challenged. That is likely why that man was so belligerent. In situations like that, it is probably safest for you to ignore the person. Engaging someone who is loud and aggressive is not a safe option.

In general, though, when someone asks you for money on the street, even if you choose not to give them anything, you can acknowledge them. I will say, “Good morning. Have a good day,” or something similar. If they press for money, I say, “I’m sorry. Not today.” Recognizing the humanity in others is an important part of life. I believe that some people who find themselves living on the street or otherwise in dire straits often feel invisible because passersby don’t even see them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman I know from a social club I belong to complained all last year about her husband in graphic and rude terms. Now they are divorced -- no surprise. What is odd is that she has started talking about how mean he is and how he doesn’t give her all the money that he promised. She calls him ungrateful and on and on with the negativity. I can’t help but wonder what she expected. She talked about this man like a dog. Now she’s acting like the victim. I’m not so sure. I do know that I don’t want to get caught up in the discussions about their marriage. I don’t want to take sides, especially since I doubt that I would take hers. What can I say when she starts complaining about him? -- Messy Divorce

DEAR MESSY DIVORCE: It is never good to get involved in the details of other people’s divorces. Rarely is the uncoupling handled in a loving, respectful way. Typically, hurt feelings run rampant and nasty words are flung about. When your friend asks your opinion, tell her you do not want to be involved. Even if she urges you to take sides, tell her you want to remain her friend; therefore, you plead the fifth. No comment on her marriage. Period.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)