DEAR HARRIETTE: I have young children who are involved in the entertainment industry. My 10-year-old son is a dancer, and my 8-year-old daughter is an actor. We feel fortunate that both of them have gotten paying jobs already through their school and local productions. They have also met some influential people in the business who have offered to help get them to the next level.

I was already worried about what might happen to my children if they meet the wrong people, then I watched the HBO documentary "Leaving Neverland," about alleged sexual abuse by Michael Jackson. I had heard the stories and about the trial years ago, but this film was awful and so scary. I don’t understand how these boys' mothers could have allowed them to go to "sleepovers” at Michael Jackson’s house; he was a grown man.

I don’t know what I might be missing when it comes to protecting my kids and allowing them to pursue their dreams. How do you know if your child is in harm’s way? -- Avoiding Child Sexual Abuse

DEAR AVOIDING CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE: That documentary was chilling. Whether or not the allegations those men made are true, a clear message that came from the film is the importance of parents being vigilant about what they allow their children to do. For stage parents, that includes making sure that your children always have an adult chaperone. This may mean that you have to take time off from work or hire someone you trust to be with your children when you are unable to be there.

For all parents, it is important to teach your children how to protect themselves. This includes giving them the language to discuss what they are experiencing. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, most sexual abuse of children is perpetrated by people the children already know and trust. How can you get around that? By teaching your children the proper names of body parts, which parts are private, that it is inappropriate for others to touch their private parts, that they should keep no secrets from you and that they should speak up if anyone asks them to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable. For all who are reading this, experts recommend teaching your children about their body parts and their rights to their bodies from a young age so that they can stand up for themselves even in scary situations. For more ideas, go to: bit.ly/2XIZcCA.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dying my hair for at least 10 years now. I went gray prematurely, but in my line of work, it is bad if I start looking older. It has been so busy of late that I haven’t kept up my color appointments as well as I should have. The other day, one of my co-workers, who I think has a mean streak, called me out, saying he could see my roots. I ignored him and immediately scheduled a hair appointment. Should I have responded? -- Peekaboo Gray

DEAR PEEKABOO GRAY: Ignoring your co-worker was the wise thing to do. Don’t draw attention to the thing you want to cover. Ageism is real, even if it is technically illegal. If you feel like keeping your hair colored gives you job security, continue coloring it. You may want to put reminders in your calendar so that you don’t go too long next time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is an A-student in her high school. She is conscientious about her work, and she helps a little bit around the house. In general, I think she is doing a good job. My concern is that this semester she comes home from school and wants to take a nap for at least an hour before starting her homework. She does get up and complete her work, but it worries me that she naps virtually every day. The only days she doesn’t nap are when she has her after-school clubs. If I want her to do her chores, which are minimal, she claims she’s tired. How do I reconcile letting her nap and making sure she has a well-balanced life? I think that studies, rest and responsibilities at home are all important. -- Napping Teen

DEAR NAPPING TEEN: Taking a nap before doing homework may be a great idea in that it gives your daughter a refresh from her full day at school. This could even be a contributor to her doing so well in school. According to the National Sleep Foundation, teens do need more sleep than adults. It’s best for them to have eight to 10 hours of sleep per night, but because of homework and other factors, they often sleep less. Taking a brief nap after school is considered to be an effective way for teens to fortify themselves. So, yes, your daughter’s nap is likely beneficial to her.

That doesn’t mean that she should get a pass on household chores. Since she is doing so well in school, create a chore schedule for her that is complementary to her overall schedule without taking too much time from her studies. Make sure she knows that chores are requirements, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My birthday is coming up, and I had the thought that I would have a small party. When I started to make a list, I realized that my life is pretty closed off these days. I can easily make a big event with people I know professionally, but when it comes to an intimate group of friends, I come up short. It’s making me feel sad that I don’t spend enough time with loved ones and I can’t even figure out who they are. Should I forgo the party? How can I figure out who my true friends are? -- Feeling Lonely

DEAR FEELING LONELY: Assessing the quality of your friendships is something you should probably do one-on-one over time. That evaluation requires spending time with folks.

For a celebratory get-together, it doesn’t have to be that deep. Make two lists -- one that includes professional and peripheral friends; the other that includes family and others that you call on in times of need. Examine your lists and choose who you would like to share your birthday with. It’s fine for that group to be a mix of both lists. On your special day, choose people you believe will be happy to celebrate you.

Separately, dig deeper to determine who deserves to be in your inner circle.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am about to get married, and my 10-year-old daughter is not happy about it. I have finally found a man who wants to be my partner in life. He likes my daughter, too, but she is not kind to him. She is just a child, but she does not accept him at all. I know that it can be hard for kids to welcome stepparents, but I need my daughter to like my fiance. What can I say to her to help her to adjust to this change in our lives? -- Single Mom Marries

DEAR SINGLE MOM MARRIES: Slow down and make a plan with your fiance that includes your daughter. He needs to get to know her better and build a loving bond with her. She needs to witness that he is not trying to take you away from her. She needs clear evidence that his presence in your lives will bring value, not tear you away from her. Institute a weekly family night where the three of you do something together. It can be as simple as watching a movie, but make it an activity that you don’t miss. The more you can do to include your daughter in experiences with you and your fiance, the more likely it is that she will soften to him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am proud of my siblings, and people from our hometown remind me all the time of how incredible they are. It’s also hard for me; I have not been as successful. I took another path and ended up in rehab, and it has taken me a long time to get my act together. I don’t want to be the bad seed, so to speak.

I am working to get my life together, but it’s hard when my siblings are overachievers. How can I stand up and represent myself as the man I am becoming when my siblings are superstars in their industries? -- Shrinking Violet

DEAR SHRINKING VIOLET: Being compared to your siblings can be hard no matter what your station in life. The fact that you have experienced some significant bumps in the road doesn’t help you right now. What you need to do is change your focus. Instead of thinking about what your siblings have accomplished, keep your lens turned on yourself. What are you doing to get to your next goal? How does it feel when you accomplish a task you give yourself? Keep a physical list of goals and completed tasks to help keep you on track. Celebrate your small victories. No need to brag about them. Fortify yourself by knowing that you are doing your best. Surround yourself with people who support you for the person you are.

When others laud your siblings, give them their due. Resist comparing yourself to them. Just acknowledge their good news and let that stand for itself. Don’t falsely believe that you have to attempt to one-up them at those pivotal moments.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)