DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend of six years and I broke up about a year ago. He said he needed to find himself and grow up. He never stopped texting me, though. A couple of months ago, he asked if we could get back together and try again. I love him, so I agreed to try. We spent time together over the holidays, and it was really nice. But then Valentine’s Day came and went. He didn’t even call. The next day, he called to ask my advice on an outfit he was going to wear to go out with friends -- without me.
Am I missing something here? If he’s trying to be in my good graces, don’t you think a simple call on Valentine’s Day would have been in order? I don’t know what he’s thinking about, but it doesn’t seem to be me. I’m not asking for much, and I don’t even mean to get caught up in a holiday like that, but I just feel like his absence is indicative of him not taking me seriously. Should I say anything? I’m tired of hoping for more and not getting it. -- Not My Valentine
DEAR NOT MY VALENTINE: You dated this man for a long time. You know him, and he knows you. After a breakup, if he is not stepping up his game and working hard to win you back, he doesn’t deserve to have you. One of the easiest things to do is to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day. Right or wrong, our culture screams it leading up to the day. That he missed it says he doesn’t have you top of mind -- especially if that is something you celebrated in the past. Though you say you love him, what you need to do is assess if he loves you the way you want to be loved. If not, it is time for you to walk away.