DEAR HARRIETTE: I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I seem to have no libido whatsoever. My husband is mad at me because I have not been interested in sex for years now. He is a good man who hasn’t strayed (yet), but I feel bad because it’s not fair to him. How can I get interest back?

When it first started, we were having serious marital problems, and I didn’t want to be bothered. Now I can’t put my finger on it. I just have no sexual feelings at all. How can I get them back? -- No Libido

DEAR NO LIBIDO: Start by going to your doctor for a checkup. Explain your situation. Ask if there is any medical reason why you have lost interest in sex. Ask if there is anything the doctor can recommend to help you get your desire back. There may be nutritional supplements that you can take to support you.

You may also want to go to a therapist. Especially since this dry spell began due to friction in your marriage, you may have some unresolved issues that you need to address. A psychologist may be able to help you sort through your experiences and feelings to get to the other side. Consider going to a sex therapist -- someone who specializes in helping people to unlock their issues to help them find their way to a healthy sexual life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just received a Facebook message from a guy who used to date my sister back when we were in grade school. We are now in our 50s. This guy wrote to me to say he wants to be in touch with my sister, but he can’t find her on social media. He asked me to help.

I spoke to my sister, and she is completely not interested. She said they haven’t talked for like 40 years, and she has no desire to speak to him now. What do I say to the guy? He has been blowing up my Facebook messenger. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but my sister said no. -- No Rekindling

DEAR NO REKINDLING: As difficult as it may seem, you will have to tell this man that you've passed along his request, and your sister will reach out to him if she decides to do so. You can tell him that she is busy and preoccupied, so you can’t guarantee anything. Do not lead this man into believing that your sister may contact him in the future. You can tell him that your sister does not use social media and generally she has a small network of people in her personal sphere. Perhaps this will help him to not take it personally if she never picks up the phone. Know that this is not your problem. You do not have to hold this man’s hand through the experience. You will have done your job after you spell it out for him once.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am scheduled to travel for work for about a week. I travel for my job, but I have tried to scale back now that my mother is older and has some health issues. This upcoming trip is mandatory. I want to set up a support system for my mother while I am away, but I don’t have any family in my hometown. Do you think it would be all right to speak to a couple of family friends to keep an eye on her? Should I hire someone? -- Help for Mom

DEAR HELP FOR MOM: Evaluate how stable your mother’s health is. That will let you know if you should have medical support on hand, or if friends will be enough. Think about who in your network your mother would trust and who is capable of helping her in ways that will make a difference. Once you identify a couple of people, call them and check in to see if they are willing to help you out. You want to make sure that whoever you choose will be responsible and responsive.

If you cannot find the support you need, see if your mother’s insurance will pay for a visiting nurse service. If not, find out what it will cost for you to arrange for support. You can ask your mother’s doctor or at a local hospital or health center, and you can call her insurance company for referrals.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two friends who want to get married, but both of them are unemployed. They are good, smart people who find themselves struggling like crazy. I feel so bad for them. I know they are trying to get it together, but something always seems to stand in their way. A few friends have been talking about throwing them a wedding party -- something small but nice. Do you think that’s a good idea? We don’t want to interfere with their life together, but they have been talking about marriage for so long, we want to help them make it happen. -- Planning a Wedding

DEAR PLANNING A WEDDING: Your idea is lovely, but it may not be the right idea at this moment. If your friends are struggling for basic needs, a party may not be the best way for them to spend their time or your money.

I recommend that you run the idea by them. Tell them what you have in mind, and ask them if they welcome it. They may want to focus on stabilizing their lives before formally tying the knot. Or they may want to go for it. Take their temperature to see what makes sense for them. Then, honor their desire.

For example, they might appreciate whatever money you were going to spend on a party to help them pay rent or buy food. Or they may be so happy that friends want to help them cross the threshold to marriage that they decide to embrace your idea. Ask them and pay attention so that you are clear about their wishes.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are college graduates, and we always assumed our kids would go to college, too. Both of our children are in their 20s. They have decent jobs, but neither of them finished college. We are so disappointed. We know we can’t live our children’s lives for them, but we have read that you can definitely increase your salary with a college degree. Should we continue to encourage them to go back to school or just let them live their lives? -- College Dreams

DEAR COLLEGE DREAMS: Rather than admonishing them about a choice they have made, talk to your children about their visions of the future. Ask them to imagine their lives five to 10 years from now. What are they doing? How are they earning a living? Do they have a family? Do they own a home? Based on their answers, ask them how they are going to plot their course so that they are prepared to meet their expectations. By engaging in this exercise, you may be able to help your children see the value of pursuing higher education. This could be vocational, by the way. There are many tech jobs, for example, that can be high-paying but that may not require four years of college.

Your children are not thinking within the construct that guided you when you were growing up. You all may need to think outside the box in order to figure out a path toward stability and success. Encourage them, but don’t browbeat them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is coming home from prison after being there for more than 15 years. I have built a community of friends who don’t even know that I have a child. I feel bad about that, but he has been gone so long that I haven’t talked about him. Honestly, I am ashamed of the crime he committed and the life he led that got him there, so I just walked away when he was convicted.

Now my son wants to come and live at home because he doesn’t have a job or anywhere else to live. This worries me for many reasons. I don’t want to have to take care of a grown man -- even if he is my son. We haven’t stayed in touch much over the years, and now I have a lot of explaining to do with my friends if he comes to live with me. How should I handle this? -- Wayward Son

DEAR WAYWARD SON: First things first. You need to talk to your son before he gets out to make a plan with him. Find out what his parole officer recommends. Often, people transition into halfway houses before being allowed on their own, so he may not be able to move in with you right away anyway. Find out what your son intends to do with his life. To the best of your ability, support him. That does not mean he has to live with you, though.

Regarding your friends, tell them when you are ready. You may want to confide in the people you are closest to in your friend group and share with others over time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)