DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been dating a guy for a year and a half. We spend just about every weekend together, and I’ve met his kids and parents. I’ve also gone to a few family functions. When we started dating, he told me he was living with his cousin and her kids on the other side of town. I never checked, and I recently found out he’s living with another woman. They’ve been living together for five years. When I asked him about it, he told me it was true.
Since then, he's moved out and is now renting a room from a college buddy. He explained that they’re working toward a peaceful split since they purchased a lot of things together. Should I wait for him to figure things out or drop him for not being honest from the start? -- False Start, Los Angeles
DEAR FALSE START: You have every reason to not trust this man. On one hand, he came off as a wholesome family man with great intentions about you and your relationship with him. On the other, he was not actually available to be with you and lied about it. Consider it good news that he made a move to show that he is attempting to break free of this woman and stand on his own two feet. But camping out in the room of an old college buddy is hardly secure.
If you really like him, tell him as much, but also let him know that he needs to get his act together before you resume your relationship. Let him know that you care about him, but you need him to straighten out his business with this woman and clear a path that is stable for his kids and includes you. Otherwise, you are out.