DEAR HARRIETTE: I have teenagers who are just starting to date, and frankly, I am concerned about all of the talk of sexual misconduct in the news and how that might affect their choices. My kids are the same age as Judge Brett Kavanaugh and his high school accuser at the time of the alleged incident. They know what the allegations are.

Forget whether he becomes a Supreme Court justice for a moment; I’m worried about my kids possibly becoming numb to hearing about sexual misconduct and for it to seem commonplace and not worth reporting. I don’t know how to address this situation to make it real for my children without getting involved in a political discussion. It’s not that we avoid politics. We talk about that, too, but this is real and could happen to them.

I want to talk to my daughter and son about what they would do if they were faced with a potentially dangerous situation like the one being described. How do I approach this? -- Having the Conversation, Seattle

DEAR HAVING THE CONVERSATION: What we as parents learn is that virtually every situation can become a teachable moment. Your children see things going on in their world and experience challenging situations or assaults on their values, and they rely on you to help them understand what to do. As the groundswell of awareness around sexual misconduct grows, you must talk to your children about their choices, their actions and their ability to protect themselves.

The way I approached the Kavanaugh accusations with my teenage daughter may be helpful to you. I asked if she knew the allegations. She did. Then I put her in the moment. She likes to go to parties and hang out with friends. I reminded her that this type of incident is part of why I do not ever want her to go to someone’s home when an adult isn’t there, especially not to a party. I asked her what she would do if someone attacked her or one of her friends. When would she call the police? That was a scary question for her and got her thinking. God forbid, if she were attacked in any way, or even if she finds herself in a compromising or unsafe situation, I let her know that she can always call me (or tell me later), and I will be there -- without judgment. We established a safe word she can text me that serves as an SOS. Our children need to know that we will support them. They need to trust that they can reach out to us for help no matter how bad the situation may be.

Our children also need to understand that in today’s world, every single thing they do can be and often is recorded via smartphone and social media. The difference between the Kavanaugh situation and today is that Kavanaugh is facing allegations that amount to he said-she said. Whatever our teens do today will likely be documented in photos and video. A record of their actions will live in perpetuity. Our job is to help our children recognize the impact of this reality. Every thought, word and deed counts and can affect them many years later. They do not have the luxury to make repeated bad choices without the possibility of penalty in the future. Whatever they do, they must learn that they absolutely cannot lie about it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have lived in my neighborhood for about 25 years, and it has changed so much that I hardly recognize it. As all kinds of people move in and it becomes "gentrified," I am noticing that people are not as friendly as they used to be. The haves and have-nots are more noticeable. As much as I hate it, I see that racial tension is building as well. This makes me really sad.

I know that change is part of life, but I hate that I’m thinking of moving because of what’s happening to my neighborhood. I have seen newcomers look down at people who have been here for generations. This summer was the worst. New neighbors called the police a few times because folks were sitting outside talking and laughing at night on the weekend. It’s like they want the traditions to end so that they can be comfortable. I don’t appreciate that. What can I do to help keep the spirit alive instead of giving up? -- There Goes the Neighborhood, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD: This is where community activism and engagement come in. Join your local community board to help organize around positive action. If there is a block association where you live, join that. Become active in the neighborhood church. And be proactive with your new neighbors. Meet them, welcome them and educate them about the history of your neighborhood. Talk to them about the culture of the people who live where they have moved. Gently point out that they didn’t just buy a house or an apartment, they are buying into a community that has lived there for generations and that has a soul. Encourage them to learn about that soul and find ways to respect it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my mother’s longtime friends is very ill. Well, in a way, all of the ones who are still living are not well. They are 80-plus years old and dealing with various ailments. But one of them used to be very close to me. I have not talked to her a lot in recent years, but when I learned that she is doing poorly, I thought I should be in touch. Do you think she will want to hear from me given that several years have passed since I last reached out to her? I don’t want to upset her. I want to offer my love at this time when she is not doing so well. -- Reaching Out, Atlanta

DEAR REACHING OUT: By all means, reach out to your mother’s friend right away. Do not apologize for the time lapse since you last spoke. Just start talking to her. Tell her that you have been thinking about her and wanted to say hello. Ask her how she is doing, but do not probe. Let her tell you whatever she wants to share. Be sure to tell her highlights about your life that will make her happy. Chances are, she will be happy to hear from you and thrilled to chat. The best follow-up for you will be to call her again soon. Being remembered when you are old is precious.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have become part of a group of female colleagues at my job who like to go out for dinner and drinks once a week. It’s nice to get to know these women, but I am in an entry-level role, and I can’t afford to keep up with them. I don’t want to come off as not wanting to spend time with them, and I also don’t want to cry poor. How can I handle this? I know that bonding with colleagues can lead to opportunities, but this weekly engagement is way above my pay grade. -- Can't Hang, Rochester, New York

DEAR CAN’T HANG: Perhaps you can go for drinks with the group but not stay for dinner. If you bring cash, you can give the money for your drink(s) plus tip to one of the people who will be staying, and then you can dash out without making a scene or having to share in the cost of a group bill, which often can become unwieldy.

You can also say at some point along the way that you can’t afford it. Trust that you won’t be the only one. Perhaps you can commit to joining them once a month. That may be an amount you can manage.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a guy who started his career at the same time as me, some 20 years ago. This guy stuck with the career path and has done well. I have floundered a bit. What gets under my skin is that he isn’t even all that good at the craft. What I see is that sticking to it counts for a lot. I think he had a lot more confidence in himself than I have had over the years.

Anyway, I am feeling kind of down because my career never took off. Seeing this man and his success has made me feel worse about myself. I know that envying others is a sin, but I can’t help but feel like I missed the boat and he didn’t. How can I change my attitude? -- Wanting to Be in Other Shoes, Los Angeles

DEAR WANTING TO BE IN OTHER SHOES: Thank you for your honesty. Recognizing the feeling you had when you came upon this man for what it is can be helpful. It is true that it can be hard to accept someone else’s success when you are not feeling successful yourself. But you are right to know that it is dangerous to envy this man. This will only make you fall into a deeper pit of self-loathing.

Consider this encounter from a different perspective: Running into this guy could serve as motivation. This may be your "aha" moment. It’s not too late for you to restart your engine and reinvigorate your career. Rather than letting this man get you down, let him inspire you to take a step toward your own goals and dreams. Turn this painful moment into a positive for your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)