DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I no longer sleep in the same room. It all started when the air conditioner broke in our bedroom. It was so hot that I couldn’t sleep in there. Now I have been sleeping in the living room for several months -- and I like it. No snoring. No interruptions. Everything else is pretty much the same, except for where we lay our heads. Does it seem odd that I like being in the other room better? Do you think this is a sign of trouble in our marriage? -- Sleeping Arrangements, Boston

DEAR SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS: I think you and your husband should talk about it. Patterns emerge and change over the years in marriages. When something as significant as where you sleep changes, it is wise for you to check in to see how you both feel about it.

I know a couple who were married almost 50 years. For at least 20 of them, they had separate bedrooms. The wife once told me that the way they continued to have intimacy well into their 70s was by planning once-a-month trysts that were romantic and tender. On those evenings, they stayed in the same room.

DEAR HARRIETTE: For years I was extremely active in my church. I taught Sunday school when my kids were little. I sang in the choir every Sunday for decades. Now, my kids are grown, and I am tired. I don’t go to church as much as I used to, even though I do continue to tithe. My workload is heavy, and I often rest on Sunday mornings. I tend to go to church for special occasions and for Communion.

I feel comfortable with my new attendance schedule, but whenever I show up, somebody has a wisecrack to make. Most of those people never put in the kind of time that I did over the years. How do I handle the criticism? -- Tired Churchgoer, San Diego

DEAR TIRED CHURCHGOER: Clearly you have served for years at your church. This is great and should make you happy. The discipline of being part of your church community was important to you for a long time, especially when your children were growing up. That you now have established a less-rigorous rhythm is OK. What’s most important is for you to check in with yourself. Do you feel spiritually whole? Are you receiving the support you need to fortify that part of your life? If you are at peace with your new schedule, ignore the parishioners who criticize you. There will always be people who have opinions. Just make sure that you are following a path that supports your heart and soul.

If you feel like you want to respond to any of these people, you can simply say that you feel good about your new schedule. You remain an active member of the community and a monthly tither. You can add that you believe it’s time for others to step in and do some of the things that you once managed. In a community, everybody should share the workload. Encourage them to step up and do more.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: It is time for my son to take driver’s ed, and I am happy about it. We live in the suburbs. Once he masters driving, I won’t have to take him everywhere. He is a responsible young man, and I know he will do his best to be a good driver. My husband, however, is skeptical about the whole thing. He thinks my son should wait until he is 18 to learn to drive. I think that’s way too late, for two reasons. First, I’m tired of being his chauffeur. My husband rarely takes him anywhere. But also, he will be heading off to college at 18. I want him to become a good driver while we are still in his orbit. I think it’s a mistake to wait that long. I don’t want to argue with my husband. How can I get him to understand? -- Moving Toward Independence, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR MOVING TOWARD INDEPENDENCE: Take a positive approach when talking to your husband. Remind him how quickly time will pass before your son goes away to school. Tell him you think it’s wise to guide him as a driver while he is still living at home. He may understand that. You may also begin to ask him to take your son places; you can be unavailable and urge your husband to step in. If your husband gets a taste for how demanding it can be to be your son’s car service, that experience may help him to change his mind.

DEAR HARRIETTE: There’s a famous story in my family about my great-aunt, who was old but not ill. She had come to live with my grandmother, and after a while, it felt like she was imposing on the family. She was no longer working and had no money. She felt bad about not being able to contribute to the home, so she decided to die. The story goes that she just stopped eating. After a few months, she withered away and was gone.

I was always horrified to hear that story, but now I understand. I am a senior citizen, and I have been out of work for several years now and do not have enough money to buy groceries, let alone keep a roof over my head. I do not want to be a burden on my kids as they are building their families. Do you think I’m crazy for having these thoughts like my great-aunt? -- End-of-Life Thoughts, Cleveland

DEAR END-OF-LIFE THOUGHTS: What you didn’t tell us was how the rest of the family felt about your great-aunt’s decision. I bet they would have preferred to share their food with her and have her with them longer, even if resources were low.

It sounds like you need to get some mental health counseling and financial support. Go to your local community center, church or hospital to learn where you can get free or low-cost counseling. Be honest about your situation, and ask for guidance. There may be government resources available to ease the burden. You may even be able to find a job for seniors that will put a little change in your pocket. Don’t give up.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father just suffered a stroke and is in a terrible state. He has started yelling and cursing at the doctors and nurses in the hospital. He has been incredibly rude and disrespectful in ways that are downright shocking to the family. He has said racist things to doctors from other countries. It’s awful. He never behaved like this before. My siblings and I went back and apologized to the people he offended, but we are beside ourselves. He isn’t listening. How can we get him to stop this ranting? -- Stroke Effect, Seattle

DEAR STROKE EFFECT: After reading a range of materials on the side effects of stroke, what I have learned is that emotional outbursts can happen in stroke victims, especially in the early days. Dementia can be exacerbated as well. For many patients, medical professionals suggest that over time there are improvements and some sense of normalcy may return. This depends, of course, on the severity of the stroke. For now, you and your siblings should continue to offer love and support to your father, making sure he knows that you are there for him and that he is not alone. If he continues to exhibit rude behavior toward others, you will have to continue to follow up and neutralize the situation until, God willing, he calms down. For more information on stroke and its side effects, go to: strokeconnection.strokeassociation.org/Summer-2017/Somethings-Different-Personality-Changes-After-Stroke/.

DEAR HARRIETTE: There is a lot of construction just above me in my building. It has been going on for months. Recently, my neighbor and I have noticed mouse droppings in our apartments. Well, it could even be from a rat. The excrement was kind of big, and every trap that I have bought has not worked. I am so upset. I have two small children and am worried for their health and safety. Something has to be done about this.

When I mentioned this to the landlord, he didn’t seem to care. I need the building to take this seriously. It is not healthy to have a mouse or rat in my apartment. Should I report the building to 311? -- Rat-Free Life, Bronx, New York

DEAR RAT-FREE LIFE: Before going to 311, contact your landlord again both by phone and in writing. Request extermination services based on the rodent problem you are experiencing. Take pictures to prove what you have seen. Explain in writing all that you have done to get rid of the problem, to no avail. Ask for the landlord to get the exterminator in immediately to rectify the problem.

If you still get no satisfactory response, then call 311 and explain the situation. Describe the supporting materials you have to prove your concern. Ask the city to help you. The 311 number exists to help citizens deal with non-emergency municipal issues. This certainly should qualify as that.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)