DEAR HARRIETTE: There’s a woman at my job who has decided that she wants me to be her best friend. Whenever she has a free moment, she hovers by my desk. She tries to go to lunch with me when I go out. She’s the first to sign up if co-workers want to go out for drinks -- if she hears that I am going. This woman is cramping my style. I like her fine, but she is acting like a stalker. How can I get her to give me some space? -- Stalker Co-worker, Philadelphia

DEAR STALKER CO-WORKER: Start by making yourself scarce right before you plan to head out with other co-workers. Be discreet so that this woman does not know your whereabouts. If she doesn’t think you are going to attend particular events, perhaps she will stop going.

You can tell her that on a particular afternoon or evening, you have planned to spend one-on-one with another co-worker. Perhaps she can join you at another time. If the subtle hints don’t work, you may have to be direct. Tell her that you like hanging out with her sometimes, but you need her to back off a little bit. You want the freedom to do whatever you want by yourself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a daughter, and I have a friend with two sons. My friend is set on one of her boys marrying my daughter. Obviously, this is a long way away. The kids are just in high school now. But the reality is that right now my daughter doesn’t give these boys the time of day. She doesn’t seem interested in them -- even as friends. She has her own friend group, and I can’t force her to be close to these boys if they don’t share interests. I used to try to force them to spend time together, but it didn’t work. What should I say to my friend when she asks me to create moments for the kids to get together? -- Bad Match, Sausalito, California

DEAR BAD MATCH: Tell your friend to stop with the matchmaking already. The kids are just that -- kids. They have their lives ahead of them, and you do not intend to serve as matchmaker for them. Point out that when they get older, if they discover each other that will be lovely, but you will not be party to trying to force a match that doesn’t seem to be natural. One of the worst things that a parent can do is to pressure a child to be in a relationship that doesn’t feel like a fit.

I know that there are many cultures where arranged marriages remain common. But that is not the typical American way. Don’t get caught up in your friend’s drama. Ask her to back off. Give the children space to come together on their own. If it is meant to be, you will soon find out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have the hardest time trying to get my teenage daughter and son to wear a jacket when the weather turns cold. For some reason, these young people are averse to jackets and coats, even when it’s really cool outside. I know it is my responsibility to protect my children, but I honestly don’t know what to do to get them to dress properly without getting into an argument in the morning. -- Stay Warm, Chicago

DEAR STAY WARM: Teenagers do seem to be allergic to coats! As autumn settles in, your job is to get creative so that they can stay healthy and warm. Layering is key. Now that there are so many high-tech fibers that can keep you warm, look for undershirts and turtlenecks that keep the warmth in. Look for extremely lightweight jackets made out of insulated materials that double as heat magnets. After you get these items, let your teens know that they must wear them. Consequence could be taking away their phones or electronic devices. That usually works.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was growing up, my parents made me go to my auntie’s house almost every weekend to help her with chores and other things that were hard for her because she was old. I didn’t like this at first, but I grew to enjoy the time with my auntie. I have tried to do the same with my son and his grandfather. They aren’t particularly close, and I want them to know each other better before my father leaves us. My son is grouchy about it and says he wants to hang with his friends. How can I get him to see the value of spending this time with his grandfather? -- Making Time for Elders, Washington, D.C.

DEAR MAKING TIME FOR ELDERS: I love the idea of getting children together with the elders in their families. And, yes, it can be hard to do. Your job is to inspire your son to want to learn more about his grandfather. You can start by telling him stories that you recall. Then encourage him to ask questions when he goes to visit. Make it clear that the visits are not optional, but that he can make great use out of the conversations if he becomes the family sleuth. Suggest that he learn as much as he can about his grandfather. He may even want to interview him using his smartphone. If he has a purpose, this may help him to be more engaged.

You can also create a schedule for your son that includes visiting his grandfather and spending time with friends. You don’t want it to seem like a punishment when he spends time with his grandfather. Make it seem like the privilege that it is. This should inspire him to look forward to his visits.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my former employees got married a month ago. I was unable to attend because I had to work. Another is getting married in the fall, and once again I am not available for the bridal shower. The day conflicts with a previously scheduled trip for my daughter’s school. I feel bad that I cannot be there for these young women who thought enough of me to invite me to participate in this important moment in their lives. How can I make it up to them? I want them to know how much I care about them and how happy I am for this next step in their lives. -- Missing the Celebration, Denver

DEAR MISSING THE CELEBRATION: Congratulations to your former employees, who are about to take that next great step in life. And congratulations to you for being such a role model that they thought to include you in their ceremonies.

Start by offering your love to your former employees, and let them know how sorry you are that you will not be able to join them. Immediately offer to celebrate with each couple after the wedding. Invite them to dinner or another private gathering where you get to interact personally. At this event, you can present them with a wedding present, or you may want to buy something through their registry and send that ahead.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been going to the gym fairly consistently for about a year now. In the past month, I have slacked off. It wasn’t intentional. One week I had a cold. Then I got busy with work and getting my kids back into the groove of school. The next thing you know, I haven’t gone for a while. When I get on the scale, I can see that the pounds are coming back fast. I feel so bad about lapsing. Part of me feels like it’s too hard to keep up the pace, but my doctor says I have to work out and lose weight or I will get sick. How can I get motivated again? -- Workout Blues, Cincinnati

DEAR WORKOUT BLUES: Even when you have been good at exercising, it can be so easy to lose your momentum. Once you stop working out entirely, it can be difficult to rev up again. That said, you can do it! Your doctor’s wake-up call is your motivation. Of course you want to be healthy and avoid getting sick. If working out and changing your eating habits are the keys to good health, set them as a priority and get up and move.

Create incentives for yourself. If you work out three days in a week, what gift can you give yourself? If you get to five or more, what bonus can you set? Make sure these are healthy options. You may win the chance to go to the movies or to a museum. You may get to sleep in one morning after working out six days in a row. Psych yourself into doing right by your body. You will not regret it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)