DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my former employees got married a month ago. I was unable to attend because I had to work. Another is getting married in the fall, and once again I am not available for the bridal shower. The day conflicts with a previously scheduled trip for my daughter’s school. I feel bad that I cannot be there for these young women who thought enough of me to invite me to participate in this important moment in their lives. How can I make it up to them? I want them to know how much I care about them and how happy I am for this next step in their lives. -- Missing the Celebration, Denver

DEAR MISSING THE CELEBRATION: Congratulations to your former employees, who are about to take that next great step in life. And congratulations to you for being such a role model that they thought to include you in their ceremonies.

Start by offering your love to your former employees, and let them know how sorry you are that you will not be able to join them. Immediately offer to celebrate with each couple after the wedding. Invite them to dinner or another private gathering where you get to interact personally. At this event, you can present them with a wedding present, or you may want to buy something through their registry and send that ahead.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been going to the gym fairly consistently for about a year now. In the past month, I have slacked off. It wasn’t intentional. One week I had a cold. Then I got busy with work and getting my kids back into the groove of school. The next thing you know, I haven’t gone for a while. When I get on the scale, I can see that the pounds are coming back fast. I feel so bad about lapsing. Part of me feels like it’s too hard to keep up the pace, but my doctor says I have to work out and lose weight or I will get sick. How can I get motivated again? -- Workout Blues, Cincinnati

DEAR WORKOUT BLUES: Even when you have been good at exercising, it can be so easy to lose your momentum. Once you stop working out entirely, it can be difficult to rev up again. That said, you can do it! Your doctor’s wake-up call is your motivation. Of course you want to be healthy and avoid getting sick. If working out and changing your eating habits are the keys to good health, set them as a priority and get up and move.

Create incentives for yourself. If you work out three days in a week, what gift can you give yourself? If you get to five or more, what bonus can you set? Make sure these are healthy options. You may win the chance to go to the movies or to a museum. You may get to sleep in one morning after working out six days in a row. Psych yourself into doing right by your body. You will not regret it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have way too much on my plate. I have a busy job. I have three kids and an injured husband. I volunteer at my church and at my kids’ school. This is what my mother did when I was growing up, so I thought that I was following in her footsteps. Honestly, I don’t know how she did it. I am exhausted, and I never seem to have time for myself -- whatever that means. I want to carve out even a little bit of “me” time, but I’m not sure how. Can you help? -- In Search of "Me" Time, Boston

DEAR IN SEARCH OF “ME” TIME: It can be tough to compare yourself to anyone else, especially your mother. You are your own person with your own abilities and limitations. Take a moment and evaluate your life. Record how you spend your days for about a week. Look for time that you may be able to spend more intentionally and for quiet moments that you can call your own.

This may require getting up a half-hour earlier than usual, before the family rises, so that you can take a bath, do some stretching, read a book, just be still. Claiming quiet moments can help you to feel calmer and more in control of your life. You may also want to make a list of your daily responsibilities so that you are clear about what has to be completed. Check off your list as you go through your day. This allows you to have some control over your activities, and it keeps you aware of what you have accomplished and what is left to be done.

Finally, even though your husband is injured, ask him to help in whatever ways he can. Ask for teamwork from him and your children. This will help you to feel less alone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I practice meditation and do my best to stay calm in difficult situations. Lately, I feel like I am losing the battle. I have been in ugly arguments with co-workers at my job -- about legitimate issues, but I don’t like how they have gotten under my skin. I can attribute their caustic behavior to our boss, who is extremely difficult to work with. If I am honest, I have questions about her integrity. Recently, I witnessed her lying to another co-worker and then berating that co-worker for something that was the boss’s mistake. I feel like no amount of meditation can make the crazy stuff that happens at work OK. What can I do to maintain my sanity? -- Off the Edge, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR OFF THE EDGE: While meditation can be extremely helpful in stilling the mind and keeping you grounded, sometimes you need to take additional action. If you believe that you are working in a place that is unhealthy for you, you should consider working somewhere else. You don’t need to be impulsive about it, but make a plan. Consciously work to find a new place of employment that better matches your values. Until you find that new job, stay where you are.

Allow your meditation practice to help you stay strong and not take the assaults to your and others’ integrity personally. Bide your time, but prepare to leave.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Much to my horror, when one of my neighbors held the door for me the other day, he yelled to me to run. I was just coming from a serious workout at the gym and didn’t feel like running, even though I was moving quickly. He added, “You need to run so you can lose that belly.” I was shocked. Yes, I am overweight, which is why I have been going to the gym. But I don't even know this man's name! How dare he say that to me! I was so shocked that I didn’t say anything; I just glared at him. But I wonder if I should follow up with a comment. -- Insulted on My Doorstep, Bronx, New York

DEAR INSULTED ON MY DOORSTEP: Some people are rude. He is one of them. Don’t stoop to his level with a nasty quip. Instead, ignore him. Stay focused on your fitness goals. Get fit and strong for yourself. Check in with your doctor to make sure that your eating habits and fitness regimen are right for your body. Compete with yourself rather than someone else’s image of you.

When you reach your fitness goals, feel proud of yourself -- without bragging. If this man happens to say something else to you, good or bad, just smile and keep on moving.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband refuses to let me have a housekeeper to help make sure things are tidy at home. We have three children, ages 6 through 13, and both of us work full time. My husband considers a housekeeper a luxury and thinks it is a waste of money to have someone come in to do what we should be doing. Never mind that my husband rarely lifts a finger to do anything around the house. He expects me to do it all. I cannot do my job, help with homework, cook and clean everything by myself -- nor should I be expected to. How can I get this across to him? -- Need a Housekeeper, San Diego, California

DEAR NEED A HOUSEKEEPER: Make a list of all of the weekly and daily household chores. Next to each task, assign a family member the responsibility. This includes your children. Even toddlers can learn to put away their toys. Assign your husband a range of duties, too. Talk to him about your list, and ask him to become an active participant. Point out that you simply do not have the time or energy to do everything. From now on, you must have full participation from the family.

You may want to ask your husband to help with homework, too. The children may enjoy getting his input along with yours. Add that if your husband refuses to help out, you will have to hire a housekeeper because you cannot do it all by yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)