DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working at a part-time job for a couple of years, and it’s always an agonizing experience. The owner of the business is scatterbrained. She constantly berates her staff about the littlest things, and her manner is hard to stomach. Plus, the pay is really low. I got into the job because I do like the work -- an educational project that is inspirational in nature. I try to keep that in mind when my boss is going off on one or more of the staff. But I’m getting tired.

I talked to my husband about it, and he told me I should walk away from the job. He says I shouldn’t stay in a situation that is toxic. I reminded him of how tight our finances are. He said, “When one door closes, another door opens.” I’m afraid to leave this job. I have another friend who didn’t like his job and walked, and now he is struggling way worse. What should I do? -- At a Loss, Seattle

DEAR AT A LOSS: Talk to your husband in more detail about your finances and how you will be able to pay your bills if you leave this job. Be specific about every bill that your household has, and figure out if he can carry the weight for a period of time. If you can come to terms with how you will be able to manage for the next year -- in case you don’t replace this income by then -- you have the freedom to walk away responsibly. Then you can go to your boss and thank her for the opportunity to work there as you tell her that it is time for you to go. If she asks why, be careful in your response. You do not need to go into detail about her behavior. You can just tell her it wasn’t a good fit. You can also say that it was hard for you to work in a place that is so volatile. If you want to warn others, you can go to glassdoor.com to post an anonymous review of the work environment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a young friend who recently graduated from college. He has been floundering about, trying to get his footing. He lives at home, and I don't think this is helping him. He doesn’t seem to have enough drive to go out and find a job. He actually had a part-time job at a fast-food restaurant and got fired because he had a bad attitude. Really? He has asked me for advice to get his life together. I’m not sure what to tell him. Ideas? -- Lost Friend, Dallas

DEAR LOST FRIEND: You can give your young friend a pep talk about the working world. Point out that in order to make your way in life, you have to work hard at whatever you do. That includes working for minimum wage in a fast-food restaurant. Having a positive, professional attitude should be his daily practice. Suggest that he make a list of the jobs he would like to have, match the jobs to his skill set and apply for several jobs in those fields every week. He must work on this pursuit daily in order to meet with success.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been taking my daughter to vote with me since she was born. She is a teenager now, and getting closer to the age when she will be able to vote. The midterm elections are coming up, and I reminded her that we are going to be voting soon. She shrugged it off because it means she has to get up earlier than normal before going to school. These days it is always a fight to get her out of bed and to school on time. Still, I do not want to break our tradition. To me, it’s even more important for her to go with me when I cast my ballot as she prepares to become a voter herself. How can I be sure that I can get her to comply? -- Encouraging the Vote, Boston

DEAR ENCOURAGING THE VOTE: Talk to your daughter about the importance of the midterm elections. Discuss who is running for office and what you think about the various candidates. Engage her in a meaningful discussion about the election so that it becomes real for her.

As she nears voting age, the way that she will become interested in getting up and getting out to vote is if she cares about the issues and understands that her vote can make a difference. Her single vote can help to bring about the change that she may want in the world. If you talk to her about the issues and the candidates so that she gets excited about the process, she will be more likely to wake up on her own and want to go with you to cast your ballot.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I graduated from college more than 20 years ago, and I’m not the girl who goes to homecoming, though I stay in touch with a few close friends. Anyway, one of my college friends reached out to me the other day to say that she is coming to my city and she wants to know if she can stay with me for a week. I have not talked to this woman for about 15 years. Yes, we were close back in the day, but this is an odd request that makes me feel uncomfortable.

I am happy to show my friend my city when she comes and to hang out a little, but I am not interested in hosting her in my home. I live in a small apartment and am a single mom. I do not want to disrupt our life for someone I haven’t been in touch with for years. How do I handle this? -- Throwback Request, Las Vegas

DEAR THROWBACK REQUEST: You live in a place that is popular for vacations. Your former college friend clearly wants to visit Las Vegas, and it sounds like you seemed to be the ticket for her to be able to make it happen. That said, you do not have to be her hotel.

If you like this woman, it’s great for you to tell her that you will be happy to see her while she is in town. You can offer to show her around one day or meet up for dinner. But don’t feel bad about telling her that she cannot stay with you. Just say no.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working on a freelance project that is interesting but also low-paying. Recently, I was asked to do another project for this company for an even lower price. I debated with the project manager, giving arguments for why I thought I deserved a higher rate, but to no avail.

On the first day of work, I spoke with a colleague about the fee, as I was told previously that our roles were paid the same rate. Shockingly, I learned that he was being paid a higher rate than me. I am so upset. I know that we live in a country where women still make less than men, but I didn’t think it would be this blatant. I am furious. Yes, I need this gig, but I can’t act like I don’t know this. How should I proceed? -- Unequal Pay, Chicago

DEAR UNEQUAL PAY: I’m sorry that this happened to you, even though, sadly, it is common. If you are ready for a fight, speak up. Address the pay discrepancy with your boss -- preferably in writing. Send a note directly to your boss stating what you learned about pay scale discrepancies. Be specific, and express your surprise to learn that the rates were different, given your previous assurance that these roles received equal pay. Ask for your fee to be revised retroactively for the current project.

If your boss does not respond with an agreement to pay you the same rate or a promise to look into it and get back to you immediately, engage a lawyer. You can find an attorney who specializes in discrimination suits who can help you draft a more formal complaint letter where you point out the discrimination and request fair compensation. Generally, these attorneys will work with you to get a settlement without taking pay until you receive an award. What you don’t want to do is quit. You have no leverage with the company if you no longer work there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family is beginning to plan our Christmas holiday vacation. Typically, we all meet at my sister’s house, which requires my husband, my kids and me to travel. This has worked out well over the years as we are able to drive and stay with her. We all have a great time, and it’s relatively affordable.

My sister now wants to move the gathering to Florida so that we can enjoy the warm weather and visit with another relative who lives down there. I’m worried that we cannot afford the plane tickets -- forget about the rest of the cost of the trip. My sister and her husband are doing well financially, but my husband and I have been struggling for the past few years. She knows this and is trying to be sensitive to everyone’s situation. What can I do to make it possible for my family to join the celebration? -- Family Gathering, Detroit

DEAR FAMILY GATHERING: Be more specific with your sister about your finances. Tell her you are concerned that the trip will be more expensive than you can afford. One way to defray the cost might be to see if she has airline miles from a credit card that she can use to “buy” you plane tickets. She might also consider renting a big house via Airbnb that has enough bedrooms for the whole family to stay together. This, too, will cut down significantly on costs.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)