DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been taking my daughter to vote with me since she was born. She is a teenager now, and getting closer to the age when she will be able to vote. The midterm elections are coming up, and I reminded her that we are going to be voting soon. She shrugged it off because it means she has to get up earlier than normal before going to school. These days it is always a fight to get her out of bed and to school on time. Still, I do not want to break our tradition. To me, it’s even more important for her to go with me when I cast my ballot as she prepares to become a voter herself. How can I be sure that I can get her to comply? -- Encouraging the Vote, Boston

DEAR ENCOURAGING THE VOTE: Talk to your daughter about the importance of the midterm elections. Discuss who is running for office and what you think about the various candidates. Engage her in a meaningful discussion about the election so that it becomes real for her.

As she nears voting age, the way that she will become interested in getting up and getting out to vote is if she cares about the issues and understands that her vote can make a difference. Her single vote can help to bring about the change that she may want in the world. If you talk to her about the issues and the candidates so that she gets excited about the process, she will be more likely to wake up on her own and want to go with you to cast your ballot.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I graduated from college more than 20 years ago, and I’m not the girl who goes to homecoming, though I stay in touch with a few close friends. Anyway, one of my college friends reached out to me the other day to say that she is coming to my city and she wants to know if she can stay with me for a week. I have not talked to this woman for about 15 years. Yes, we were close back in the day, but this is an odd request that makes me feel uncomfortable.

I am happy to show my friend my city when she comes and to hang out a little, but I am not interested in hosting her in my home. I live in a small apartment and am a single mom. I do not want to disrupt our life for someone I haven’t been in touch with for years. How do I handle this? -- Throwback Request, Las Vegas

DEAR THROWBACK REQUEST: You live in a place that is popular for vacations. Your former college friend clearly wants to visit Las Vegas, and it sounds like you seemed to be the ticket for her to be able to make it happen. That said, you do not have to be her hotel.

If you like this woman, it’s great for you to tell her that you will be happy to see her while she is in town. You can offer to show her around one day or meet up for dinner. But don’t feel bad about telling her that she cannot stay with you. Just say no.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working on a freelance project that is interesting but also low-paying. Recently, I was asked to do another project for this company for an even lower price. I debated with the project manager, giving arguments for why I thought I deserved a higher rate, but to no avail.

On the first day of work, I spoke with a colleague about the fee, as I was told previously that our roles were paid the same rate. Shockingly, I learned that he was being paid a higher rate than me. I am so upset. I know that we live in a country where women still make less than men, but I didn’t think it would be this blatant. I am furious. Yes, I need this gig, but I can’t act like I don’t know this. How should I proceed? -- Unequal Pay, Chicago

DEAR UNEQUAL PAY: I’m sorry that this happened to you, even though, sadly, it is common. If you are ready for a fight, speak up. Address the pay discrepancy with your boss -- preferably in writing. Send a note directly to your boss stating what you learned about pay scale discrepancies. Be specific, and express your surprise to learn that the rates were different, given your previous assurance that these roles received equal pay. Ask for your fee to be revised retroactively for the current project.

If your boss does not respond with an agreement to pay you the same rate or a promise to look into it and get back to you immediately, engage a lawyer. You can find an attorney who specializes in discrimination suits who can help you draft a more formal complaint letter where you point out the discrimination and request fair compensation. Generally, these attorneys will work with you to get a settlement without taking pay until you receive an award. What you don’t want to do is quit. You have no leverage with the company if you no longer work there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family is beginning to plan our Christmas holiday vacation. Typically, we all meet at my sister’s house, which requires my husband, my kids and me to travel. This has worked out well over the years as we are able to drive and stay with her. We all have a great time, and it’s relatively affordable.

My sister now wants to move the gathering to Florida so that we can enjoy the warm weather and visit with another relative who lives down there. I’m worried that we cannot afford the plane tickets -- forget about the rest of the cost of the trip. My sister and her husband are doing well financially, but my husband and I have been struggling for the past few years. She knows this and is trying to be sensitive to everyone’s situation. What can I do to make it possible for my family to join the celebration? -- Family Gathering, Detroit

DEAR FAMILY GATHERING: Be more specific with your sister about your finances. Tell her you are concerned that the trip will be more expensive than you can afford. One way to defray the cost might be to see if she has airline miles from a credit card that she can use to “buy” you plane tickets. She might also consider renting a big house via Airbnb that has enough bedrooms for the whole family to stay together. This, too, will cut down significantly on costs.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend, "Clare," has been dating her boyfriend for almost four years, and I honestly haven’t seen her at all. Clare’s boyfriend is very active and out there, and to put this mildly, she follows him around like a puppy. She spends all her time with him. My girlfriends and I never said anything to her because we were just happy that she was so happy with him.

I am also in a relationship, but my boyfriend and I have been doing long-distance for almost a year. I get to see him every three weeks. Because we switch off every three weeks, we like to buy our plane tickets in advance. I have a plan to see my boyfriend in two weeks, but that’s the same weekend Clare wants to celebrate her birthday. When I told her I would not be able to make it, she started yelling at me, saying that I see my boyfriend so much and that it’s her weekend, etc. I was taken aback by this. I know I should be the bigger person and apologize, but I want to confront her and tell her how hypocritical everything she said was because she doesn’t do anything without her boyfriend. Would that just be wrong of me? -- My Best Friend's a Hypocrite, Salt Lake City

DEAR MY BEST FRIEND’S A HYPOCRITE: Now is the time for you to have a voice. Your job is to tell Clare, without emotion, that she has spent the past four years putting her boyfriend before any of her friends, including you. Tell her that you are offended that she would snap at you about your plans with your boyfriend. Make it clear that you are sorry that you cannot be there for her party, but point out that she did not check in with you before scheduling the date.

Let Clare know that you realize how much of a challenge it is to be a good friend and a good girlfriend. Ask her not to judge you considering that you have worked hard not to judge her even though she regularly puts her boyfriend before you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My dad just got a job offer in Australia, and my family and I are moving soon. I’m going to be entering my junior year of high school, so I am petrified, to say the least. High school is such an awkward age to transfer into a school. I know that many kids have to do it because of their parents' jobs, but I never thought that I would be one of them. I know I shouldn't be mad because it’s not my dad's fault and this is such a wonderful opportunity for him, but I am really upset. I have a strong group of friends here, and I know I’m not going to find the same thing over there. I haven't had to go out and make friends in forever because I grew up with my best friends. How am I supposed to make new friends when everyone will already have a set group of friends? -- Weird New Girl, Westchester, New York

DEAR WEIRD NEW GIRL: It is scary to move far away when you are a teenager. Your life already feels complicated. What you have to do is take each day at a time and trust that you will find people you will like. Keep your eyes wide open. As my mother used to say, “Notice the bright lights in the room.” Who stands out for you as interesting, compassionate, funny, likeable? Join clubs that focus on your interests, and notice the students there. Over time, you will make your way. I promise.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)