DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I just got a new car. Our previous car had no fancy computer abilities, so we are still getting used to this one. Our car starts without a key, though the key fob -- something I had never even heard of before -- has to be in the car. My husband has been adamant about both of us carrying our key fobs, even if only one of us is going to drive, because he says the fob identifies the driver. He has been pushy about us each having our fobs with us, and he reprimands me if I don’t have mine.
Fast forward to this weekend: We went away for a few days, and he seems to have lost his key fob. He’s upset about it, but I'm just glad it wasn’t me. He would have been yelling at me and telling me how irresponsible I am. Instead he’s just upset and looking for his key. I’m sorry he lost it, and I don’t want to rub it in, but part of me wants to point out that he would be handling this differently if the roles were reversed. Do I let it go or say something? -- Lost Key Fob, Washington, D.C.
DEAR LOST KEY FOB: Implicit in what you are saying is that your husband has a temper and is critical of you. What you may want to do is help him find his key fob or recommend that you order another from your car company. You can also say to him that you hope you find the key fob, even as you are relieved that you aren’t the one who lost it. When he looks at you quizzically, point out that he would have been livid if you had been the culprit. Ask him if he knows what you mean. Point out that it is possible to deal with crises without placing judgment, as you are doing right now.