DEAR HARRIETTE: I had some time to myself this summer and was able to be quiet and assess my life. It was a great experience, but during my contemplation, I remembered some things that I did in my past that are disturbing. I’m talking about choices that I made that were rude or mean or short-sighted. In retrospect, I can’t believe how selfish I was while trying to build my career. There have been a few occasions when the way I reacted to people I care about just didn’t matter in the moment. I am ashamed about some of these moments, and I wonder what I should do. I know that most people have done bad things, but should I do something about it? Should I reach out to the people I think I was rude to and apologize for my behavior? -- Making Amends, Dallas

DEAR MAKING AMENDS: Self-reflection is an excellent component to life because it enables you to notice what you have done well and where you can improve. This includes assessing when it’s wise to own up to your mistakes and apologize for your behavior. In many instances, this is a good idea. If you did something awful to someone, chances are that person remembers. Your call or note can go a long way in extending the proverbial olive branch. Just make sure that you are not more likely to stir up negative feelings at a bad time for that person.

Do not reach out to someone in hopes of absolution. That is putting responsibility back on the victim. Instead, be mindful when you reach out to someone you’ve hurt. Ask if it’s OK for you two to talk. Confess your bad behavior, and sincerely apologize. Be prepared to hear their rendition and revisited hurt feelings. In other cases, offer it up in prayer and ask the universe for forgiveness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been worried about my life a lot lately, really wondering if I wouldn’t be better off dead. I know that sounds crazy, but hear me out: I lost my job. I have a healthy life insurance policy. If I die, my family would have the money I put in the policy to take care of themselves. Does that seem awful? I’m trying to be practical here. I’m not planning to do anything yet; I'm just thinking. -- Suicidal, Washington, D.C.

DEAR SUICIDAL: It is smart that you got life insurance as a way of safeguarding your family in case of an accident. Do know that your insurance policy would be void if, for any reason, you take your own life. This important to know, given your state of mind.

More importantly, your life is worth living! It’s just tough right now. Get help. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at any time to talk to a professional about how you are feeling at 1-800-273-8255. Beyond that, see your doctor for mental-health support. Reach out to friends and acquaintances for job support. Times are tough now, but things can change. Hold on to that belief.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in an office with a lot of young people who are pretty rambunctious and loud. I hate sounding like an old lady, but it is hard for me to get my work done because they are either gossiping with each other, looking at videos online or otherwise talking. I don’t understand how they do it. Some of our work requires focus and quiet in order to get done. I don’t want to turn into one of those old farts who is always complaining about the young ones, but I can’t concentrate. Can I ask them to tone it down or go to another room when they need to talk a lot? We have a room just for that purpose, but they don’t use it. -- Needing Silence, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NEEDING SILENCE: Since the group of young folks do not use the break room, can you use it? It will be hard for you to corral a whole group of noisy people and get them to be still. It’s far more efficient for you to find a way to isolate yourself. In this way, you get to do your work in peace, and they get the freedom to work the way that makes them feel at ease.

By the way, what may seem like fun to you, such as watching videos, could actually be looking at material for work. These days, everything is online. Don’t judge them; find yourself a quiet place to work. And hang out with them sometimes, too. It will teach you how they think and keep you young!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My college friend’s best friend just died. It is so weird. He looked fine in the photos she used to post of him and of the two of them hanging out. When I asked her about it, she said that he had high blood pressure and other ailments and that as much as she tried to get him to take care of himself, he never really did. He was not even 60 yet.

This death scares me. I have high blood pressure, too. I do take my medicine, and in recent years I have started to exercise. Honestly, I have been slow to step up to take care of myself. I worry that it could be too late for me, too. I am afraid to go to the doctor. I am embarrassed that I could be near death. I promised myself that I wouldn’t end up like my father’s family, and here I am. What can I do? -- On the Edge, Atlanta

DEAR ON THE EDGE: It is time to be vigorously proactive. Schedule a physical immediately. In order to protect yourself and get on course, you need to know what you are facing. Heredity figures in to your health, as do your eating and exercise habits. Commit to eating as suggested by a doctor or nutritionist and moving your body at least three times a week. This sounds like basic stuff to some people, but if this has not been your practice, it can seem insurmountable. That’s why the concept of "one day at a time" is so important. If you do something each day to fortify your health, it is likely that you will become healthier.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in New York City, where there are a lot of people from Puerto Rico. One of my neighbors has been complaining for months about how slowly the government has responded to the devastation of Hurricane Maria. I have to admit that I got tired of listening to her complaints after a while. So many other problems in life have come up, plus we were getting general notifications that aid was coming to the island.

Now it seems that the support has not been available as needed. And way more people died than was first thought. I feel horrible for my neighbor and her relatives who are stuck in Puerto Rico and who have few resources. I feel like I should apologize to her for not understanding. I also want to help even though I’m strapped for cash. Is there anything else I can do? -- Help for Puerto Rico, Bronx, New York

DEAR HELP FOR PUERTO RICO: When disaster strikes an area -- especially in an impoverished location -- the repair of the community takes far longer than the news coverage about it. Locals or people related to locals generally have a lot more information and tend to be more passionate about what’s happening on the ground. That may seem annoying to people on the periphery, but the reality is that, as is the case in Puerto Rico, people continue to suffer and the government was not as responsive as the citizens needed.

What you can do now is to be there for your friend. Let her know that you are sorry you were deaf to her family's challenges and that you want to help. Be clear that money is tight right now, but you hope there is something else you can do. Ask for her guidance. People may need supplies that you can help gather. There may also be a general need for awareness. Perhaps you can let your friends know that financial help is still appreciated.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was hanging out with new friends at the end of the summer, and a side effect of a great time was that I got addicted to a new crop of shows on those streaming sites. Binge-watching TV is a real thing. I am shocked that I would get caught up in it, but it’s true. I can sit down and several hours zip by before I realize that I’ve been stuck to the TV.

On one hand, I want to keep it up. When I get together with these friends, I know we will talk about the episodes. On the other hand, I need to own my life and not to be bound by this foolishness. How can I balance my time so that I can stay connected to them without becoming a slave to the remote? -- No More Binge-Watching, Denver

DEAR NO MORE BINGE-WATCHING: You are part of a new craze, and it is worth it to figure out how to manage your time and energy. Don’t be afraid to tell your friends that you are willing to watch one series but no more. Agree on the one that you will discuss, and when you are finished with it, turn off the TV. If they talk about the other shows, so be it. You can choose to establish balance in your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)