DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in New York City, where there are a lot of people from Puerto Rico. One of my neighbors has been complaining for months about how slowly the government has responded to the devastation of Hurricane Maria. I have to admit that I got tired of listening to her complaints after a while. So many other problems in life have come up, plus we were getting general notifications that aid was coming to the island.

Now it seems that the support has not been available as needed. And way more people died than was first thought. I feel horrible for my neighbor and her relatives who are stuck in Puerto Rico and who have few resources. I feel like I should apologize to her for not understanding. I also want to help even though I’m strapped for cash. Is there anything else I can do? -- Help for Puerto Rico, Bronx, New York

DEAR HELP FOR PUERTO RICO: When disaster strikes an area -- especially in an impoverished location -- the repair of the community takes far longer than the news coverage about it. Locals or people related to locals generally have a lot more information and tend to be more passionate about what’s happening on the ground. That may seem annoying to people on the periphery, but the reality is that, as is the case in Puerto Rico, people continue to suffer and the government was not as responsive as the citizens needed.

What you can do now is to be there for your friend. Let her know that you are sorry you were deaf to her family's challenges and that you want to help. Be clear that money is tight right now, but you hope there is something else you can do. Ask for her guidance. People may need supplies that you can help gather. There may also be a general need for awareness. Perhaps you can let your friends know that financial help is still appreciated.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was hanging out with new friends at the end of the summer, and a side effect of a great time was that I got addicted to a new crop of shows on those streaming sites. Binge-watching TV is a real thing. I am shocked that I would get caught up in it, but it’s true. I can sit down and several hours zip by before I realize that I’ve been stuck to the TV.

On one hand, I want to keep it up. When I get together with these friends, I know we will talk about the episodes. On the other hand, I need to own my life and not to be bound by this foolishness. How can I balance my time so that I can stay connected to them without becoming a slave to the remote? -- No More Binge-Watching, Denver

DEAR NO MORE BINGE-WATCHING: You are part of a new craze, and it is worth it to figure out how to manage your time and energy. Don’t be afraid to tell your friends that you are willing to watch one series but no more. Agree on the one that you will discuss, and when you are finished with it, turn off the TV. If they talk about the other shows, so be it. You can choose to establish balance in your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My good friend is talking about organizing a vacation in the spring, and she asked my boyfriend and me if we would like to participate. The way she does this is to find a few couples or individuals who want to go in on a house and then rent it together. This makes it more affordable and easier to get a nicer house. I like the idea, but my boyfriend isn’t so into it. He doesn’t think he will like sharing a house with six or eight people. He says it feels like college, and we are grown now. I see his point, but I think it could be fun. Plus, we have been talking about taking a vacation but hesitant because of the cost. I want to convince him to try this out at least once to see if we like it. How can I get him to reconsider? -- Group Vacay, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR GROUP VACAY: Think about this trip opportunity and who will be part of the house. Do you get along with everyone? Does your boyfriend? If the actual people aren’t the issue, broach the idea again. Point out that you both like the other potential housemates, and you think everyone will get along. Ask your boyfriend to consider this trip as a trial to see if you enjoy being part of a group when you are on vacation. If he agrees, be sure to schedule some activities without the group so that you two can create your own individual special memories. If he refuses to go and the two of you do not make other plans, consider going without him and having fun with the group.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I’m in that Eddie Murphy movie "Coming to America"! My teenage daughter brought home a boy for the family to meet. He was nice enough. Like many young men today, he had a fancy hairstyle -- for a man, anyway. When he sat down in the living room to talk to the family and then hang out with my daughter, he left a grease stain from his hair on the sofa. I kid you not. I don’t want to embarrass him by saying anything, but if she brings him back, something has to give. Somebody is going to have to tell him not to lean against the furniture or the walls -- and why. Uncomfortable, I know, but do you have a better idea? -- Greasy Sofa, New Orleans

DEAR GREASY SOFA: Had you used humor in the moment, you may have been able to dispel some of the discomfort that is to come. The goal is to let the young man know that his hair is destroying your furniture without hurting his feelings too much.

OK, the humorous moment has passed, so now you should just tell your daughter. At first, she, too, will be embarrassed, but she will let him know in a more private way than you can. Later, if they stay together, you can rib him over his do!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work as a freelance publicist. I have been doing this for about five years, and it’s going OK. The problem is that my friends and family are constantly asking me to do things for them for free. They feel like since they know me or are related to me, naturally I will do them a solid and help them out. I understand that in theory, but this is my livelihood. It’s one thing to do a project once as a gift, but they come back again and again. Whenever I suggest they pay me, they get ornery and act like I am being greedy. How can I get people to pay for my services? -- Freelancer Trying to Make a Living, Seattle

DEAR FREELANCER TRYING TO MAKE A LIVING: Create a rate sheet for your services if you don’t already have one. Include each service you provide and the parameters for the task so that your clients are crystal clear about what they are getting. List a fee next to each service. If you would like to be somewhat generous and strategic, create a discount for friends and family that reflects your affinity toward them while keeping things professional. The next time they ask you to do something for them, provide the rate sheet. Point out that you are offering them a family discount but that there will be no more freebies. Stick to your guns, and you won’t have this problem after they realize you are serious.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A college friend just wrote to me saying she is coming to town. She then asked if she could crash at my house while she’s in town. I don’t think that’s a good idea. I do not have air conditioning, and it has been crazy hot and humid all summer, including now. It is miserable, and I don’t feel like having company who I have to try to make comfortable until the heat wave passes. I can’t seem to get her to understand. How can I say no? -- Too Hot for Company, Winston-Salem, North Carolina

DEAR TOO HOT FOR COMPANY: A wise financial adviser once told me that “no” is a complete sentence. Sometimes you have to say no and mean it. If you know that you cannot handle having guests during the peak of the summer heat, don’t welcome any.

If you are so inclined, you can tell your friend that she is welcome to come at another time when the conditions are more suitable for you to have company. You have to remember that she planned her trip without consulting you about lodging. That’s on her. It really is OK for you to take care of yourself and let your friend know that you will not be able to host her at this time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)