DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure and pre-diabetes. I am upset and embarrassed by this. These diseases run in my family, and I vowed years ago not to let them happen to me. Yet here I am in my mid-50s in the same position as all my relatives. I am so upset with myself that I have not told any of my family members. I don’t want to admit that this is happening to me.

I want to take back my health and not succumb to a ton of meds every night. I have talked to my doctor about how I might get healthier with diet and exercise. Do you think it’s wrong of me to try these measures before I report to my family that I am like all of them -- getting sick? -- Battling Diabetes Plus, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BATTLING DIABETES PLUS: You have no obligation to report your health condition to your family -- at least not right now. What you must do is take control of your health. Follow your doctor’s instructions carefully. Ask to see a nutritionist. This may help you to figure out new ways of eating that will support weight loss as well as reduce salt and sugar levels in your body.

Figure out something to do to move your body regularly. The easiest thing to do is walk. It doesn’t cost anything and can help you manage your health. The American Heart Association recommends that you walk a minimum of 10,000 steps per day, which is nearly 5 miles. You can do it. Set your mind to it. After you have your habits under control, consider telling your family what happened to you and how you are taking control of it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a densely populated apartment building. I keep my apartment clean, but I have noticed recently that there are signs of mice. I have talked to my husband about it and asked him to help me out more. I do all the housework. Even though I ask him to help me with the dishes after I cook, he rarely complies. I feel tired all the time from handling all household duties and working. How can I get my husband to help me? Mousetraps aren’t going to work without cleaning up, too. Oh, yeah, and he refuses to allow us to get a housekeeper, even though we can afford it. -- Mouse House, Detroit

DEAR MOUSE HOUSE: Remind your husband of how unhealthy it is for both of you to have a mouse in your house. Mice carry all kinds of germs, and you cannot control where they roam once they are in your home. Ask him if he will partner with you to make the house cleaner. Point out that right now you are saddled with all the responsibility, and it’s just too much for you to manage. Encourage him to come into the kitchen with you to help with cleanup. Start by cleaning together. That may be the way to get him to do anything at all.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a dinner party where the food wasn’t good. I was sitting in the kitchen toward the end of the evening, chilling, when the chef started talking to me. She was nice and had worked hard to make the event fun. She asked me what I thought of the meal, and I wasn’t sure what to say. The party's host is my friend, so I wanted to be sensitive to the situation, but honestly, the food was not good. It was bland and boring. I didn’t really answer her, and I’m not sure if that was helpful. Feedback can be helpful if people want to improve. I didn’t want to make waves. What do you think I should have done? -- Withholding Feedback, Syracuse, New York

DEAR WITHHOLDING FEEDBACK: In the moment, you might have shared your feedback in a private and honest way. You were asked directly what you thought. Ideally, you would have pointed out something that you liked about a dish, the presentation or something else, before you made any criticisms. Interaction between you and the chef could have been helpful and could have stayed private -- between you two -- had you simply told the truth.

Since you did not answer her, it is time to let it go. You missed your best opportunity to be helpful without being hurtful. Telling your friend what you think about the food can be embarrassing for her and detrimental to her relationship with the chef. At this point, keep the feedback to yourself. Next time, be attuned to the moment. When you have a clear chance of offering constructive feedback to someone, take it. Otherwise, stay quiet.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter was invited to a sleepover by a new friend from camp. I have met her, but not her parents. I don’t love the idea of allowing my child to stay anywhere until I meet and talk to the parents. My daughter is a teenager; to me, that makes it even more important that I know where she is. What if the teens aren’t telling the whole truth?

I don’t mean to be a prude, but I think I need to check out this girl and her family before I allow my child to sleep over. Do you think I am overreacting? What would you advise? -- Sleepover Invite, Easthampton, New York

DEAR SLEEPOVER INVITE: I agree that you should make a human connection with a new friend’s parents before you allow your child to spend the night, especially if that child is a teenager. As grown up as they may seem, teens are still capable of making bad choices. You can diminish the gravity of those choices by doing basic safeguard testing first. That includes meeting the parents and assessing the situation before allowing your child to spend the night.

Speak to the mom or dad and find out what they know about the planned sleepover. Get a sense of who they are and what they value, and then make your decision from there.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am so tired of politics. My husband seems to live and breathe it. From the moment he wakes up until he goes to sleep, he has the TV tuned to cable news programs, and he devours whatever they have to say. It’s like life has become its own reality show, and I just want it to stop. At the same time, I want to spend time with my husband. How can I get him to take time off from the news to spend more time with the family? -- No More Politics, Alexandria, Virginia

DEAR NO MORE POLITICS: You need to get realistic about your expectations. You will not be able to wean your husband entirely off his political lifeline. You can, however, suggest that he reserve time for you. Be direct with him. Tell him that you miss talking to him and wish he would turn off the TV sometimes.

Perhaps you can agree to watch the news with him regularly if he agrees to turn it off after an hour. You can also remove the TV from your bedroom if one is there and tell him you want your room to be a TV-free zone.

Think of activities that your husband may enjoy, and invite him to participate in them with you. Implore him to choose you and your precious moments together at least sometimes. Tell him you miss him. You may also want to offer him a moment of intimacy if he chooses to turn off the news.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am friendly with my boss’s niece. I didn’t realize they were related at first. My friend and I have known each other much longer than I have worked for her aunt. This might not have meant anything, except that my boss, her aunt, is a pain in the butt. She complains and is negative about everything. She picks at me constantly, but she also picks at other employees.

I need my job, but I appreciate being able to unload about the stuff that bothers me at work with my friends. Do you think I should keep my feelings from my boss’s niece? I usually talk to her about everything, but I don’t want to jeopardize my job or make my friend uncomfortable. -- Mum's the Word, San Diego

DEAR MUM’S THE WORD: You need to be practical. You know already that you should not tell your boss’s niece about your gripes with her aunt. It is unfair to the niece and dangerous to you. You cannot expect your friend to keep your secret -- even if she promises to do so. If she has a relationship with her aunt, she will want to tell her at some time, possibly to help her to improve her employee relations. Resist the temptation to talk about your boss with this woman. Stay neutral or let your friend know that conversation about work is off limits now, given that she and your boss are related. Then don’t bring it up. Choose other friends to talk to, if needed.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)