DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is excited about the possibility of marijuana being legalized in more states and, ultimately, throughout the nation. He loves to smoke weed, and he constantly reads up on its medical benefits. He is a complete believer in weed; I am not. I used to smoke when I was younger, and I know it can make you lethargic and unproductive. While I don’t want people to get arrested for smoking it, I don’t want to champion its legalization. When I said this to him, he asked if I thought that alcohol makes people lethargic and unproductive. I had to answer truthfully -- it does. He thinks if alcohol is legal, marijuana -- which has more benefits -- should be, too. The thing is, in my own house, my husband often smokes early in the morning before going to work. He has no medical issues. He just likes to be buzzed. While he does a good job at work, he does little to nothing at home to help, especially if he has been smoking. I see the effects of it firsthand, and I don’t like it. -- Weed Frustration, Chicago

DEAR WEED FRUSTRATION: It sounds like your issue is not at the ballot box but in your own home. Rather than talking to your husband about legislation -- which is its own issue -- talk to him about quality of life and how his smoking impacts your family. You are not likely to get him to quit smoking, but you may be able to get him to consider when he smokes. Tell him that you need his help around the house more. Ask him to consider not smoking until he completes his chores. That principal is good for people who drink as well. Pretty much anything that can alter your mood or be a distraction should not be engaged when you have work to do. Make an agreement with your husband that there will be no TV, no alcohol and no weed during chore time. See if he will agree.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an uncle who I always thought of as a nuisance. He’s always complaining about something. Now that I am getting older, I realize that his complaints are probably real issues. He suffers from obesity, diabetes and other ailments. It frustrates me that he won’t exercise or change his diet. It almost seems like he wants to die. I want to inspire him to take up healthier habits. For example, I have had to change my diet because I was told I am pre-diabetic. Do you think if I tell him my story and invite him to exercise with me that he might consider it, or will he be offended? -- Sick Uncle, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR SICK UNCLE: It’s good that you have developed compassion for your uncle. It is always easier to communicate with people when you have a softness in your heart toward them. It’s a great idea to confide in him about your own health and what you plan to do about it. Let him know what your doctor recommended. Talk about the added exercise, and invite him to take a walk with you. That’s the easiest way to get someone moving. A walk and talk may be a perfect way to get your uncle up. The added bonus is you two may get closer.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live with two of my college buddies. We’ve been living together for almost a year now, and things have gone smoothly because we are used to each other. One of my buddies has a girlfriend, and the other one is dating around. Recently, he’s been seeing someone and has brought her over a couple of times. When he goes to sleep, she will come out and watch TV with me in the living room. I didn’t think much of it at first, but it's starting to weird me out. She asks me personal and invasive questions that I don't answer. A few times, I felt like she was coming on to me. My buddy is starting to get serious with this girl, and I want to warn him about my encounters with her. Do you think it’s selfish of me to bring up some of the things I found alarming? -- Friend Found a New Girl, Syracuse, New York

DEAR FRIEND FOUND A NEW GIRL: I would start with her. The next time she comes out and starts the grand inquisition, turn it around on her. Ask her what’s up. Tell her you don’t understand why she’s trying to get in your business. Ask her what her intentions are with your friend. Make it clear that you have his back and that you want to be sure she does, too. Ask her to stop with the questions and stay in her lane.

Talk to your friend and let him know that you have a few doubts about his girlfriend. Do not be an alarmist, though. Just tell him what you have experienced -- including your talk with her. Give him space to be comfortable staying with her if he chooses. Don’t be judgmental.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 17, and I have always compared myself to my sisters and friends. My parents are hard on me about my weight. I’m normal-sized -- not too thin, but not fat. I recently developed an eating disorder. I have been seeing someone about it, but it hasn’t been helping. I know it doesn’t help because I am still comparing myself to my sisters, who are naturally skinny. I can’t stand looking at Instagram and Snapchat and seeing all these skinny girls. My parents think that I’m better and that my disorder has been controlled, but I'm not and it’s not. I don’t think it will ever go away. Am I ever going to feel good in my skin? -- Eating Disorder, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR EATING DISORDER: Keep going to your counselor, and be as honest as you can about what you are doing and how you are feeling. Being compared to others can be stressful and can push you toward unhealthy behavior. I'm sorry that your parents are making it harder for you, even unknowingly. Tell them that you need their support, not their judgment about your body size. Stop looking at social media and making unhealthy comparisons. Focus on your studies, and look to build friendships with positive people. Don’t give up on counseling. That can be your lifeline to better health. If you feel you need to talk to someone immediately, there is a helpline. Call 1-888-232-6949. For more information about dealing with eating disorders, visit bulimia.com/topics/eating-disorder-hotline.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 21 years old. I want to have breast-reduction surgery, but my parents won’t let me. I’m only 5 feet, 2 inches tall and extremely top-heavy. My back is always sore, I have to wear two sports bras when I work out and my body is completely disproportionate. My parents say I can get the surgery when I’m older and make my own money, but I want it now. I’m so uncomfortable. I don’t care what I look like; I am in physical pain. I have tried explaining it to my parents, but they don’t understand, especially my flat-chested mom. Do you think I should schedule an appointment to hear a doctor’s point of view? -- Big-Chested Girl, Oklahoma City

DEAR BIG CHESTED GIRL: You seem to have a legitimate concern that is worth exploring with your doctor. Schedule an appointment for a consultation. Learn your doctor’s opinion on the subject. Find out how much a breast reduction costs and if it is covered by your insurance. Sometimes plastic surgery is covered when it is deemed of medical importance. If your doctor agrees with your assessment, ask him or her to talk to your parents with you. This may help them gain a better understanding of your circumstances. Depending on the cost, you may still have to wait, though.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a rising sophomore at my university, and I got cut from the soccer team at school. I’m so upset; I'm not looking forward to going back to school. All my friends are on the team, so when they have games and practices, I feel like I'm not going to have anyone to hang out with. I love playing sports. I’ve been playing soccer my entire life, and it’s always been the way for me to take my mind off things. Now I feel like I have nothing. I can’t believe I’m going to be going back this semester without the team. How am I supposed to do anything if soccer was all I had? -- Cut From the Team, Pikesville, Maryland

DEAR CUT FROM THE TEAM: It can be devastating to lose a big part of your identity, as you have. Your soccer experience is fully intertwined in the rest of your life, but you need to think of this challenging moment as a time to reconfigure your life. What else interests you? Figure out alternative extracurricular activities that can occupy your time. If you want to stick with soccer, join an intermural team or coach younger kids. You can still go to the soccer games, but I don’t recommend hanging around them all the time. Build new experiences to begin to feel happy and whole again. You may lose some of your soccer buddies. Know that your real friends will find a way to make time for you as you expand your vision and welcome other experiences and people into your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)