DEAR HARRIETTE: I live with two of my college buddies. We’ve been living together for almost a year now, and things have gone smoothly because we are used to each other. One of my buddies has a girlfriend, and the other one is dating around. Recently, he’s been seeing someone and has brought her over a couple of times. When he goes to sleep, she will come out and watch TV with me in the living room. I didn’t think much of it at first, but it's starting to weird me out. She asks me personal and invasive questions that I don't answer. A few times, I felt like she was coming on to me. My buddy is starting to get serious with this girl, and I want to warn him about my encounters with her. Do you think it’s selfish of me to bring up some of the things I found alarming? -- Friend Found a New Girl, Syracuse, New York
DEAR FRIEND FOUND A NEW GIRL: I would start with her. The next time she comes out and starts the grand inquisition, turn it around on her. Ask her what’s up. Tell her you don’t understand why she’s trying to get in your business. Ask her what her intentions are with your friend. Make it clear that you have his back and that you want to be sure she does, too. Ask her to stop with the questions and stay in her lane.
Talk to your friend and let him know that you have a few doubts about his girlfriend. Do not be an alarmist, though. Just tell him what you have experienced -- including your talk with her. Give him space to be comfortable staying with her if he chooses. Don’t be judgmental.