DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 21 years old. I want to have breast-reduction surgery, but my parents won’t let me. I’m only 5 feet, 2 inches tall and extremely top-heavy. My back is always sore, I have to wear two sports bras when I work out and my body is completely disproportionate. My parents say I can get the surgery when I’m older and make my own money, but I want it now. I’m so uncomfortable. I don’t care what I look like; I am in physical pain. I have tried explaining it to my parents, but they don’t understand, especially my flat-chested mom. Do you think I should schedule an appointment to hear a doctor’s point of view? -- Big-Chested Girl, Oklahoma City

DEAR BIG CHESTED GIRL: You seem to have a legitimate concern that is worth exploring with your doctor. Schedule an appointment for a consultation. Learn your doctor’s opinion on the subject. Find out how much a breast reduction costs and if it is covered by your insurance. Sometimes plastic surgery is covered when it is deemed of medical importance. If your doctor agrees with your assessment, ask him or her to talk to your parents with you. This may help them gain a better understanding of your circumstances. Depending on the cost, you may still have to wait, though.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a rising sophomore at my university, and I got cut from the soccer team at school. I’m so upset; I'm not looking forward to going back to school. All my friends are on the team, so when they have games and practices, I feel like I'm not going to have anyone to hang out with. I love playing sports. I’ve been playing soccer my entire life, and it’s always been the way for me to take my mind off things. Now I feel like I have nothing. I can’t believe I’m going to be going back this semester without the team. How am I supposed to do anything if soccer was all I had? -- Cut From the Team, Pikesville, Maryland

DEAR CUT FROM THE TEAM: It can be devastating to lose a big part of your identity, as you have. Your soccer experience is fully intertwined in the rest of your life, but you need to think of this challenging moment as a time to reconfigure your life. What else interests you? Figure out alternative extracurricular activities that can occupy your time. If you want to stick with soccer, join an intermural team or coach younger kids. You can still go to the soccer games, but I don’t recommend hanging around them all the time. Build new experiences to begin to feel happy and whole again. You may lose some of your soccer buddies. Know that your real friends will find a way to make time for you as you expand your vision and welcome other experiences and people into your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m self-conscious about my skin. I'm starting my freshman year of high school, and my skin is so bad. I recently met with my dermatologist, and he put me on medication, but I don’t think it’s going to work as quickly as I want it to. I try new makeup products to cover up my blemishes, but it almost looks worse. I’m upset that I'm going to be starting high school with bad skin.

On top of that, I found out that I won't be getting my braces off until the middle of the year. I feel like I’m the only rising freshman with bad skin and braces. Am I ever going to get over my insecurities? -- Insecure Freshman, Philadelphia

DEAR INSECURE FRESHMAN: This may be hard for you to believe, but you are not alone. Bad skin typically comes from a combination of natural hormonal changes during puberty and your diet. It can take a long time for you to get your skin under control, even when you are mindful and follow your doctor’s directions. That means you must have patience as you follow the protocol.

You are right about makeup. It tends to make distressed skin look worse. As hard as it may seem, it is best for you not to put makeup on top of your blemishes. If you can keep your skin clean while it is healing, it will clear up sooner.

As far as braces go, think about the payoff. You will have straight teeth, though the process is long and often uncomfortable. You can weather this storm. Take stock as you go around school to see how many people share your pain. You will be amazed at how many students are just like you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom’s boyfriend proposed to her last week. They have been seeing each other for two years, and he makes her happy. I'm not close with him, so I don’t know how I feel about this.

I have such a strong relationship with my dad that I know no man will ever fill his shoes. Sometimes my mom’s boyfriend will try to act like a paternal figure, as if I don’t have one. I know he is trying hard and just wants my siblings and me to like him, but I think he tries too hard. We have an amicable relationship, and I’m happy to see my mom happy, but I still don’t know how I feel about him. Is that normal, considering my mom is going to be marrying this man? -- Mom Marries New Man, Boston

DEAR MOM MARRIES NEW MAN: This is often an awkward moment for families, especially when your dad still figures prominently in your life. Talk to your mother about expectations. What does she hope your relationship will become with her soon-to-be-husband? Make it clear to her that you remain close with your father and you do not want her fiance to be a father figure. Establish what the goal is, and work toward that. At the very least, be respectful and kind to him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 25 years old, and I live in Manhattan with a woman I’ve known since kindergarten. Growing up and throughout college, I considered her to be my best friend -- until now. Being her roommate and thinking about our friendship has made me realize how toxic it has been. She is selfish and self-centered. Whenever we get together, we talk about her. Never once has she congratulated me on my accomplishments or asked me about my life. When I do something wrong, she’ll criticize me and hold it against me for months. I know I have always looked at her as a best friend, but she is not a friend to me at all anymore.

Luckily, our lease is up in a month. Once it's done, I want to distance myself from my "friend" as much as possible, but I know she is going to reach out. I don’t want the negative energy in my life anymore; it’s been so upsetting. How do I remove her from my life when she’s been in it for so long? -- Lost a Friendship, New York City

DEAR LOST A FRIENDSHIP: There is a saying that people are in your life for a season, for a reason or forever. This friend’s season seems to have run out. Take small steps to extricate yourself from her now. Endings are often more important than beginnings because we can get messy and unthinking when we are trying to walk away from a situation.

Be mindful. Make sure your roommate knows that you do not intend to extend the lease. Tell her that you need to take a break, so you plan to go dark. When she calls, don’t always answer. If you think she will listen to you, tell her why you are distancing yourself. But if she is as self-centered as you say, she may never understand. In that case, you can be cordial, but stop taking her calls and be increasingly unavailable to hang out.

Be sure to speak to the landlord so that it is clear that you will no longer be on the lease and that you are moving.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My good friends have invited my husband and me to go on vacation with them three years in a row, but we have always declined. It’s secretly because my husband, who is not an American citizen, has lost his passport. To get a new one takes a lot of work -- including getting paperwork from his country. He has a green card. He is legal, but he hasn’t taken the steps to get a new passport. I am so frustrated by this. Since our friends don’t know our real reason for not joining them, they think we don’t like them. I didn’t want to tell them about my husband’s immigration and passport status as I find it embarrassing and irresponsible. What can I do to help solve this dilemma? Prompting my husband hasn’t worked so far. -- No Passport, Denver

DEAR NO PASSPORT: This is a tough situation because you can’t do much. All you can do is find out exactly what is needed to complete the passport process and present that to your husband. You should also talk to him about becoming an American citizen. Since he is married to you, it could be an easy process, even now. Finally, you might consider going on the trip with your friends without him. That might wake him up.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)