DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 25 years old, and I live in Manhattan with a woman I’ve known since kindergarten. Growing up and throughout college, I considered her to be my best friend -- until now. Being her roommate and thinking about our friendship has made me realize how toxic it has been. She is selfish and self-centered. Whenever we get together, we talk about her. Never once has she congratulated me on my accomplishments or asked me about my life. When I do something wrong, she’ll criticize me and hold it against me for months. I know I have always looked at her as a best friend, but she is not a friend to me at all anymore.

Luckily, our lease is up in a month. Once it's done, I want to distance myself from my "friend" as much as possible, but I know she is going to reach out. I don’t want the negative energy in my life anymore; it’s been so upsetting. How do I remove her from my life when she’s been in it for so long? -- Lost a Friendship, New York City

DEAR LOST A FRIENDSHIP: There is a saying that people are in your life for a season, for a reason or forever. This friend’s season seems to have run out. Take small steps to extricate yourself from her now. Endings are often more important than beginnings because we can get messy and unthinking when we are trying to walk away from a situation.

Be mindful. Make sure your roommate knows that you do not intend to extend the lease. Tell her that you need to take a break, so you plan to go dark. When she calls, don’t always answer. If you think she will listen to you, tell her why you are distancing yourself. But if she is as self-centered as you say, she may never understand. In that case, you can be cordial, but stop taking her calls and be increasingly unavailable to hang out.

Be sure to speak to the landlord so that it is clear that you will no longer be on the lease and that you are moving.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My good friends have invited my husband and me to go on vacation with them three years in a row, but we have always declined. It’s secretly because my husband, who is not an American citizen, has lost his passport. To get a new one takes a lot of work -- including getting paperwork from his country. He has a green card. He is legal, but he hasn’t taken the steps to get a new passport. I am so frustrated by this. Since our friends don’t know our real reason for not joining them, they think we don’t like them. I didn’t want to tell them about my husband’s immigration and passport status as I find it embarrassing and irresponsible. What can I do to help solve this dilemma? Prompting my husband hasn’t worked so far. -- No Passport, Denver

DEAR NO PASSPORT: This is a tough situation because you can’t do much. All you can do is find out exactly what is needed to complete the passport process and present that to your husband. You should also talk to him about becoming an American citizen. Since he is married to you, it could be an easy process, even now. Finally, you might consider going on the trip with your friends without him. That might wake him up.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every year around this time, I get sad and broke. I am a freelancer, and work dries up for me in the summer. No matter how hard I hustle to get work all year long, I feel like there’s nothing right now. That’s not true for my friends, by the way. Somehow, they figure out how to have a side hustle or something to keep them going. Me, I’m just stuck. I’m not stupid. I think of myself as a smart person, but you would never know by how I am right about now. I don’t have enough money to pay my bills or to eat. What can you recommend I do so that I don’t get in this situation again? Making excuses for why I can’t pay my bills is getting old. -- All Dried Up, Dallas

DEAR ALL DRIED UP: This won’t help you much for this year, but moving forward, think of yourself like a squirrel. They work overtime during periods of plenty to harvest food and store it safely so that they have enough during the off-season. This is what you need to do with your resources. Save money, even if you receive only small amounts. The going wisdom is to save 10 percent of whatever you earn so that you have that extra cash as a cushion. If you start doing that now, next year you should have some money set aside for this difficult season.

For now, look around with fresh eyes to see what you can do to make extra cash. Can you offer to mow lawns, do yard work for your neighbors, baby-sit? Is there a local small business that might need extra help during off hours? Get creative and put yourself out there to see what projects you can do for extra money.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am finishing an internship, and I want it to turn into a full-time job. I was told that there are no positions available now, but I still want to ask the company to consider me. I got along well with my boss and the rest of the team, and I think I did a great job. How can I lobby for a position if there doesn’t seem to be one? -- Want That Job, Washington, D.C.

DEAR WANT THAT JOB: Put together a proposal that states what you have learned and what you think the company needs from you to be even better than it is today. Come up with a position that you imagine will be valuable to the company, and pitch your boss on it. Explain that you know they don’t have this position right now, but you believe it’s worth investing in to get the company to the next level. Offer to volunteer in that role at first while they consider your proposal. Many volunteer positions have turned into real jobs. If you can afford to extend your internship for a while, you may just end up being that lucky one.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 25-year-old guy who still lives with his mother. I have had some trouble finishing college and getting my career together. But in reality, I think I’ve been sacrificing my needs for the needs of my mom. My mom is a divorced, lonely woman, and I think she likes having me at home. I know I need to get my life together and be an adult. I feel I am stuck between making my mother happy but sacrificing my future, or leaving my mom by herself and trying to pursue my life and dreams. How do I navigate this situation? -- Lonely Mom Vs. My Own Life, Baltimore

DEAR LONELY MOM VS. MY OWN LIFE: Many sons of single mothers find themselves in the position of serving as more than just a son. They take on the role of caregiver, too. You have to be mindful of caring for your mother and forging your own destiny. Make a 12-month plan for yourself. Write down your goals, and then list steps that can get you there. Finishing college should be at the top. Getting a job so that you can save to get your own home is key. Spending time with friends outside of your home is important. Talk to your mother about your plans, and work to get her support. Going out on your own does not mean you are abandoning her. It means you are growing up and becoming independent. It is time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in the entertainment industry and love my job. I am surrounded by creative and wonderful people. I am 99 percent sure that both of my bosses are gay men. (I am a straight young woman.) They have both been constantly winking at me. Is that weird? Or am I just used to gross straight men winking at me when it’s not wanted? I don’t think this qualifies as sexual harassment of any kind and I don’t even think it makes me feel uncomfortable, but I don’t know what to make of it. -- Accidental Wink, Ithaca, New York

DEAR ACCIDENTAL WINK: If you are up for it, ask them what their winks mean the next time you notice it. You can be upbeat when you ask. Humor is a great way to break the ice and address awkward situations. Behavior doesn’t have to be considered harassment in order to be uncomfortable. You can tell them that you are finding it difficult to read some of their behaviors toward you, and you want to know what they mean. They will probably be surprised and may not even realize how they have been behaving. Your alerting them may make a difference.

Since it is odd to you but not untoward, don’t make a big deal of it. If they give you an answer, take it at face value. Ultimately, know that people can be awkward and clumsy with each other even when they are well-meaning. This may just be a sign of their idiosyncrasies.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)