DEAR HARRIETTE: Two of my close friends are going through a hard time in their marriage. The wife confided in me when asking for a suggestion for a therapist. While she was sharing what was going on, I realized that her marriage is way better off than my own. What’s more, she is addressing their issues head-on. I stopped fighting for things that I think are important years ago because it always turned into an argument. Now that I see what this couple is going through because they won’t settle for living in conflict, it makes me think that I should revisit some of the friction that seems to plague my marriage and try to get my husband to talk with me about it again. I begged him to go to therapy years ago, but he refused. Now that his friend is going to therapy, maybe I can convince him to reconsider it. What do you think? -- Conflicted Marriage, Detroit

DEAR CONFLICTED MARRIAGE: One of the best things that can happen when you are helping others is that you shine a lens on your own life and discover ways that you can help yourself. If you have been going along with a marriage that is unfulfilling and your friends have helped you to notice that, take the time now to work to rekindle the flame. Talk to your husband. Tell him what you want for your marriage. Ask him what he wants. Suggest that you revisit the idea of therapy to bring the two of you closer together. You can point out what’s happening with your friends as a point of encouragement.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my neighbors has decided to write a book -- a memoir, I guess it would be called. She is passionate about this and comes to me regularly to help her get her ideas together because she knows that I work in the publishing industry. My problem is that as much as I love her and want her to fulfill this dream, I can see that she is a terrible writer. I don’t have time to edit her work, but I know that no publisher is going to sign her at the rate she is going. Her writing skills are poor. Her grammar skills are abysmal, and she is a mediocre storyteller as well. What she has going for her is that her raw story is moving and compelling. As a writer-editor, what would you say to this woman to be of support without taking on too much? -- Novice Writer Reality Check, Denver

DEAR NOVICE WRITER REALITY CHECK: As a professional, you can sit down with your friend and tell her that you would like her permission to give her a trained assessment. With her blessing, tell her if she truly wants to get her book published, she will need help. Perhaps she can take a memoir-writing class. She may want to consider getting a ghostwriter to help her write the book. At the very least, she needs a copy editor to ensure that the grammar is accurate. Tell her about the self-publishing option, but note that she should not self-publish until her book is of adequate quality.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother lives in a different country. Her family is from Brazil, and that is where she grew up. When my siblings and I graduated from high school, she decided to move back to her hometown. I enjoy going to see her and visiting the family I have there, but my mother has been nagging me a lot more than usual recently. Every time I take a vacation with my boyfriend or go away with my girlfriends, she questions why I did not visit her. I try to explain to her that a flight to Brazil costs a lot more than a flight to Florida and that I can’t spend all my vacation days on her. Do you have any advice on how I can handle this situation without hurting my mother’s feelings? -- Nagging Mother, Miami

DEAR NAGGING MOTHER: Your mother made a choice for her life that took her thousands of miles away from you. While it is important for you to carve out time and save money to see her, you also have the right to live your life. You should remind your mother -- kindly -- that as much as you love her and want to see her, she is the one who moved away. She has to understand that her choice has ramifications for the family. Suggest that you use other ways to stay close, such as talking regularly via FaceTime, Skype or WhatsApp. You can stay connected without being in each other’s physical company. Choose that together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and has been undergoing chemotherapy for quite some time. I am the oldest of three, so I have been trying to take on my mother’s roles as she has been unable to. I have never admitted this to anyone, but sometimes I just want to be a normal teen for a day. I feel like I am constantly taking care of my sisters and running the house, and not taking any time for me.

I feel unbelievably selfish having these thoughts; it upsets me so much. My mom is so appreciative of how responsible I have been, but I would never tell her how I’ve been feeling every now and then. I haven’t seen my friends or hung out with my boyfriend in the longest time. It upsets me that I feel this way because I can’t imagine how my mom is feeling, but sometimes I can't help myself. Am I a bad person for feeling this way? -- Girl With a Sick Mother, Akron, Ohio

DEAR GIRL WITH A SICK MOTHER: It is OK for you to be honest with your mother, even though she is ill. Given what she’s going through, she needs to think about outside support that you and your siblings may need now. Obviously, you are not going to abandon your duties, but you can let her know that every now and then, you need a break. Perhaps there is a family member who can stop by to help out, or through her insurance you may be able to get a part-time caregiver. Let your mother know that you need help, and then she and you can begin to investigate it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in a conservative environment, and I’m pretty sure most of the employees, especially the higher-ups, are Republican. I am a Democrat with strong views about everything. My sense is that my co-workers have equally strong opinions that are exactly the opposite of my own. Since we don’t share political views, I tend to keep my personal ideas to myself when I’m at work. But I wonder if I should even stay working there. If I don’t have the same values, am I being a hypocrite to continue to work with people who have opposing views? -- On the Fence, Dallas

DEAR ON THE FENCE: It is wise for everyone in a work environment to believe that more than one political viewpoint is present. Part of the beauty of being in America is that we are allowed our personal, religious and political freedoms everywhere, including at work. To ensure that all can coexist, especially when many do not share the same views, remain mindful of yourself and others. You can consider the variety of perspectives that may be at play with any of the hot-button issues of the day. You may choose to talk about them at work or keep your ideas to yourself and discuss them privately after work with your friends and family rather than at work.

It is generally not necessary to leave a job just because co-workers don’t share your political views. An exception might be if decisions at work rely on one’s political perspective. Similarly, if your boss or co-workers try to get you to co-sign ideas that do not match your values, you should stand up for yourself. That friction could lead to discomfort that may encourage you to leave. Just know that you have legal grounds to keep your job even if your co-workers do not agree with your political perspective. It should be about the work that you do. One other point is that you should be mindful of your social media. Do not write incendiary thoughts about politics or political leaders. Anything you say or write can be used to discredit you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband likes to walk around the house naked. This was fine before we had children, but I think it is inappropriate now. Our daughter is about to turn 3. While she is too young to really know what she’s seeing, I don’t want her to have his private parts in her line of sight at all. If we have a son eventually, my husband may want to be naked around him on occasion so that our boy can see how a man’s body develops, but I draw the line with him being so open around a girl. How do I get him to put his clothes back on? -- Streaking Dad, Cleveland

DEAR STREAKING DAD: Remind your husband that when you two decided to have a family, you knew that certain things would naturally change. One of them needs to be how he dresses at home. Point out that you do not want your daughter to see his naked body because you don’t think it is appropriate. He can wear boxer shorts or some other comfortable clothing, but put your foot down about nudity. Suggest that both of you teach your daughter about modesty, which includes covering your private parts. You can add that if he has a son, there may come times when they share this moment in a locker room or elsewhere, but it should be different for him and his daughter.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)